Yesterday I told you that I had to wax/shave my entire body for the competition and I should start now so that my skin doesn't suprise me with any adverse reactions right before the competition. I need to explain this story to you...it's for your own good.
I waxed my arms once about 12 years ago and liked the way it felt afterward but didn't really feel the need to continue to do it. Perhaps, like having babies, you forget pain over time, and that's why women have multiple kids. I am here to remind you and myself that this is an unnecessary pain that should be avoided. So... I am armed with my supplies, alone in the house, away we go. 1,2,3... RIP... SSSSSSS....aaaaaaa.... yeah, that smarts. But I've already started, and it only hurts for a second.... just like ripping off a band aide. I finish that up, both arms, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. My arms are a little red but a little soothing oil and they feel ok. I'm feeling pretty confident right now... like I'm obviously a damn tough chick to have just done that so lets go the next mile. Now I have to tell you that me and shaving the bikini area have never been good bedfellows. I get itchy... and it's just not fun. However, waxing?... no bumps no itch... I'm feeling tough... you know where this is going? I apply the wax, feeling a little nervous but it's too late to turn back. "Just close your eyes and do it girl"... 1,2,3..RIP.... FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!.... SSSSHHHHIIITTTTTTTT... EFFING HELL!....... DAMN IT!......OH MY GOD!!! (there was more but my mom might read this... sorry mom) The wax must have been too warm or something because only a small amount of wax came off on the cloth and the rest stayed on me! It just pulled apart like trying to pull freshly chewed gum out of a child's hair, but at high speed! This particular wax does not come off with warm water (I know this from waxing my legs since forever) so I have to do it again. I am not so tough any more! A new cloth goes down and I'm praying for mercy.... 1,2,3... RIP..... (insert previous sailor talk here).... Only about half the wax came off and there is no way in Hell I'm going a third time. So the oil comes out by the handful... "please God let this sooth my pain. I'm sorry I just cussed like a sailor, please have mercy"...
People! Do NOT try this at home! Just spend the money and go to the salon! That hurts like a bitch too but not like what I just went through! I had tender viddles for HOURS yesterday!
(Was that too much information for you?) Well, I'm not forcing you to read my blog!
Today was a "Training with Lisa" day, so you know there will be a story. There should be a TV show called "Training with Lisa" with soft, tinkling chimes in the background to make you feel safe and happy... like Sesame Street! I'm sure her other clients have plenty of stories! Anyway, the gist of the day went like this... worked the biceps and triceps -- all good, the normal push to failure, I love it. Then a look at the diet. A little cut back on calories but not too bad, I maybe lost about 200 calories for the week. I can totally handle that. Then I wanted her to check my lat spread poses from the front and back, as those are the ones that I struggle with the most. So I "strike the pose" and she says.."Ohhh... they're so cute!" in her best "talk to her puppy" voice. Really Lisa? "Cute"? How about.. "Damn girl!.. looking hot!".. or "Wow! They are really coming along!" or... "Hey! I can tell you have been practicing!" ... but NO.. they are 'cute'. **sigh** ... darn... I guess I better keep hitting the lats cuz they aren't "Damn".. only, "Cute".
Actually, we had a good laugh over that. Especially after I told her the waxing the tenders story. I'm probably a better story 'teller' than story 'writer'. In either case, we both got a good laugh out of it.
After all... humor is just tragedy with time!
Lisa says the same thing to me... and crushes my self esteem. but she's not talking about my lats! "cute"?!?! Really?!?!?
ReplyDeleteOMG! I'm crying right now!!
ReplyDeleteChelle....what can I say...now you know why I told you at first before you began that this was the sport that was the hardest of any sport I've been involved with or know. Because of the things you have to do...Its tough mentally, lots of money, hard work, pain, and now you know the ins and outs...posing, shaving,dieting,counting calories, knowing your water intake...protein intake.. being mentally strong..so much more...now anyone who reads all this knows the hard work and frustrations body builders go through.
ReplyDeleteI give you kudos, a prayer, and support that you will be the best and know that you always put everything into it...I admire you and continue to hope only the best for you!!!
Sounds like you have a great trainer and more then anything you are the reason any of this happens because not everyone has DETERMINATION,CONSISTENT, HARD WORK, ACCOMPLISHMENT,DRIVE,PAIN,and much much more...GREAT JOB!!!!!!! your almost there....:)