So there I was...
OK, it's not going to be a passionate, make you laugh story. Sorry, Jason. I've been thinking a lot about post-contest diet and gaining the weight back since I STARTED training back in January. I thought (and still think) that I have a pretty good handle on the realistic situation of it all. But somehow, I still worry about it and feel a little guilty when I eat foods that have not been on my diet for the last 3 months. I've gone back to the early March version of the diet but still cut stuff out where I think I can because I give myself more leniency with my evening dinner with my family, so I try to conserve calories where I can. I'm still not eating after 7pm and I will maintain that healthy habit forever (I hope... unless there is drinking involved and then I can't be responsible for what goes in my mouth. Luckily I don't drink that often) So then, what's the problem? you might ask. I don't know. Lisa said that post competition is a huge "mental fuck" (her words of course :-) I can understand why. I can eat, and have been.. trying to keep in moderation, which MOSTLY is happening.. still not buying "naughty foods", just finishing up what's left from post comp gorge. What's the problem? Maybe it's just PMS. This morning I weighed 122.2 (up 3 pounds from Saturday) I don't think that is bad at all. I figure at least 1 pound of water retention. I'm hoping to stay 122/123 for another week or 2. This weekend will be a major caloric kill. We are having a HUGE BBQ in my honor to celebrate that I can eat. I plan to taste everything and drink plenty of Smirnoff. Then Sunday is Mother's Day. I'm sure there will be a treat of some kind. So I'm trying to be extra good today and yesterday. So on Monday our house should be purged of all things tempting (I mean BAD tempting like cake/cookies/alcohol.... ) So again, back on the diet I go. Still doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.
So here is the problem, I think. This might sound totally retarded and creepy so please don't judge. I think, in all honesty, that I'm feeling a little separation anxiety.... from Lisa. I don't want you to think I'm like, stalker status or anything. But Lisa is leaving in 3 weeks (or less) and she is super busy with all that. I am not training with her or consulting with her 4 times a week. I don't have her to tell me what to eat, and how to workout. I think I feel like a little part of me has gone away. Weird? It feels weird to me too as I just met Lisa in January. It's not like we have been lifelong friends. But for 3 months she has been my rock, my mentor, my trainer, my disciplinarian, my source of knowledge in all things fitness, my shoulder, my friend. I don't really feel ready to take on the task of continued training without her but I have to. It's like someone is pushing me into a pool of cold water and I HATE being cold!
In the end, I'm a strong woman and I will be ok. :-) I might wander aimlessly around my house mumbling and rambling on about random nothingness.. but as long as I don't start rocking myself into the wall repeatedly, I'll recover from post competition/trainer moving trauma.
I guess I'll post on occasion to let you know how the post comp diet is going. Lisa said that she has seen some crazy things happen to people post comp. Who knows? You might still get some good stories. In the mean time, I still enjoy rice cakes with peanut butter. My ultimate goal is to hang out between 125 and 130 while gaining 5 pounds of muscle mass in my upper body. That way, come this time next year, I will be kicking ass at my next competition in Italy somewhere. For those of you that are face book friends, you will hear about it and I will probably start blogging again. I think that blogging helped me to stay accountable and motivated. Plus, it was a bit of therapy for me too.
I think you should keep the blog going. Find an intermediate goal and keep talking about your workouts, and what is working. Try new supplements, or mess with your diet again - go paleo, or something ridiculous, just to try it. Try different tanning lotions and talk about them. Just something to keep you motivated and to keep you writing. People want to read about your experiences and your thoughts. Just my $.02.
ReplyDeleteI'll take your 2 cents, Dev, and I'll raise you 5!
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