"Happy" Easter!

4 weeks out... I finally lost some weight! I went from 131.4 to 128.8 this week. Whew!... I had threatened to throw my scale out the window and run over it with the car if I didn't lose weight this week! I don't know if I could have REALLY followed thru with that, so it's a good thing I met my goal.

I've passed a large stepping stone in my training...Easter. Last year, I had a BAD binge on Easter. I baked home made buns and ate about 11-teen of them WITH additional peanut butter, along with several other cheats. The day ended with tears and depression and fear that last until the end of the next week. I'm happy to report that I had NO cheats yesterday. It sure does help being paleo so I didn't have to fight the bread cravings at all. I'm also happy to report that bread cravings no longer plague me. :-) I love being paleo! On the other hand, I did have tears but not because of cheats. ... here is the story...

After church, I decided it would be a good time to take pictures. It was a sunny day and I did my hair for once. :-) I was feeling pretty good and suspected that I would be pretty happy with my progress. Unfortunately, I was not happy with the progress. I compared the pictures to last year 4 weeks out and although I'm bigger thru my upper body, I was skinnier last year thru the lower half. I think my legs look very soft and undefined. (I'm being kind to myself with this comment). The pictures made me sad and frustrated.

To make matters worse....

We were invited to have Easter fun with some friends... of course... a pot luck. (Always a bad idea for ANY dieter) I kindly declined the invite and my friend understood, but I did agree to bring my kids who are friends with her kids. When I dropped them off I was conveniently STARVING. I didn't mean to go hungry but my hunger can sneak up on me very quickly now days, and if/when I get really hungry I go into a sort of "panic". It's weird actually, but my body literally starts to go into panic mode. Heart rate rises, and I get very upset and emotional. Just the thought of "not being able to eat a that moment" makes me want to cry. SO... recap.. I'm hungry, going to pot luck, I'm hungry. When I get there, the Bubba burgers are on the grill. If you don't know what Bubba burgers are, they are probably the most delicious and most FATTENING burgers that you can buy. In the house was something baking that was so obviously full of cheese that the smell filled my entire head and that alone almost brought tears. On the counter were sugar cookies ready to be frosted by the kids, and on the table, friends were stuffing eggs with chocolate for the upcoming egg hunt. Big breath... actually... DON'T BREATHE... Unfortunately my "not breathing" talent was not at full potential yesterday. I was able to withstand the sights and smells for about 10 minutes max and I had to leave. I pretty much waved goodbye to all and practically ran to my car fighting back tears. Everyone at the party probably thought I was a real crab...or stuck up or something.

One of my Italian friends who is also training for figure, same comp as me, posted pictures on FB of her Italian Easter dinner with family... 2 appetizers, a couple of main courses, at least 2 desserts. And she sat for hours with this food in front of her and didn't eat! Honestly... my hero! There is NO WAY (based on the early pot luck episode) that I could have withstood THAT! Way to go Eleonora... she is one sexy bomb of a lady, let me tell you! I ain't got nothin' on her! I tell you that story just to remind you that looking amazing for competition doesn't come without some blood, sweat and tears... lots of tears.

So the hard dieting continues for 4 more weeks. I've decided to log my foods (as I have continued to do) and restrict my calories to my BMI plus exercise -500 calories. So if I want to eat a couple more calories, I have to do more cardio, and of course the calories will come from lean protein. That is how I lost 2.6 pounds this week. It's also the most logical in my mind. I'm still carb cycling with this calorie watching method.

Also, post competition plans have been made. Sissy and I are going to drive up for the day and drive home after the competition. Mike can't go and her husband can't either. Neither one of us wants to have a big gorge meal as we both have plans to maintain our accomplishments. But I DO have a bag of Maple Covered Peanut Clusters that I got myself for Easter. We were picking up some candy for the kids for Easter and I saw these and they jumped off the self and literally made my mouth water. That's what happened last year with the frosted animal crackers. I drooled over them for 2.5 months! At least I only have 1 month to drool and dream about the peanuts. I think I will also bring some Sesame Rice crackers, which I LOVE. Something sweet and something salty.... that will do. If I get a bad craving between now and then, I'll eat it, but I have no desire for pizza or burgers/fries or anything like that.

Here are some 4 weeks out pictures so you can see and agree with my opinion.