Why did the chicken cross the road?

So after a couple weeks of slow to no weight loss and my resulting panic attack along with not having ready access to Lisa (who I am going to try to stalk down tonight in a final desperate attempt) I have come down to another BIG change in diet.

Maybe I should just let things run it's course and see what happens but ..... I am not a patient woman. I had a lengthy conversation with my new best friend, who is a beautiful and stage ready (in my opinion) figure competitor who took first place in her last competition. She asked me if I had ever tried carb cycling and I said no. Only the last week of prep when you deplete carbs for about 4 days and then "carb load" the day before competition to plump up the muscles. I begged her to spend some time with me to explain, et al... (I bribed her with a free massage... man that skill comes in HANDY!) So here's the deal...

Two days of high carb, about 2300 calories on a macro ratio of F/C/P 20/40/40%

two days of low carb, about 1400 calories on a macro ration of F/C/P 20/20/60%

This is BFF's contest prep diet starting 8 weeks out. Period. No calorie cuts. Now, listen up buttercup! Here is Rachelle's GIGANTIC problem. My calorie consumption ranges from 1100 calories on Sundays to 1750 calories on Thursdays my 3 hour workout day, and 4 days are roughly 1450 calories. I haven't eaten over 2,000 calories in one day since my post contest bingeing MONTH. And that gained me 20 pounds in 3 weeks! Do you see a concern here? I'm adding .... calculating... well... about 300 more calories per day if you average it out over the week. That's an entire extra meal per day even on the "low carb days". Plus I'm adding several grams of carbs throughout the week. Half of my brain and my mouth are thrilled about this prospect, but the other half of my brain's big concern is what will happen to my BiG @SS if I add 300 calories a day?? However comma... I will be eating primarily meat and veggies. Hmmm... sound like anything I've blogged about here recently? Maybe... can you say... PALEO? Remember how I started the diet doing paleo and I changed to "the diet" after my first week of no weight loss? But I have to say that my paleo was modified and I was eating plenty of rice cakes (and peanut butter.. but not over 20% daily fat) and other "packaged foods" and supplements. Now I will try ONLY whole foods.... lean meats (and LOTS of it!!) and veggies. Fruit is allowed but as a BB, as apposed to figure, I want to achieve vascularity. I did not really achieve this last year but striving for a little more this year. To achieve vascularity, you have to cut all sugar to thin your skin as much as possible in order to see striations and veins. Gross?? ... My kids think so. I think it shows tremendous work, sacrifice, and discipline, and these are the competitors that win. I still think I need one more year to build, but ... I guess we will see.

So why did the chicken cross the road?? I guess, so it could come over to my house and end up in my fridge!

Cluck! Cluck! Ya'll!