"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me" --Stuart Smalley

I've been discouraged all week this week. I feel like I'm not making progress... lifting less weight with more effort, and I haven't lost any weight. I talked to Lisa about it, and she said it's normal to go through this mental struggle. I feel better now than I did this morning. I'm trying not to be a big crab apple for my family to have to put up with. I have a change of work out this week and Lisa took me off the Creatine for the next 2 weeks. The diet is the same for another week. I practiced my posing tonight with Mike's help and almost thought my lats looked just a tad bigger. Could have been the shadows of the dimly lit room, but I'm going to let my mind believe that there has been growth just to make me feel better. :-)

So I don't mean to be a downer tonight, but I just wanted to be honest in my blog about how I am feeling in case anyone who reads this is going through the same thing. Tomorrow is a rest day (well, 30 minutes of posing practice which is a damn hard workout!) but at least I don't have to go to the gym :-) I also don't get a lot of calories. :-( But it will be OK. I have plenty of work to do tomorrow so I will stay busy at home.

I'm looking forward to next week's workouts and I promise I will not step on the scale until Monday morning!!! (actually... I'm not sure if I can keep that promise so I'm going to retract that statement)....

ps... I have some fun info to share but I want to be in a better mood so I can make it entertaining. Stay tuned. ;-)

Tired...ass... lats... and other complaints

There is good news and bad news today. I'm in a really funky mood, so forgive the lack of humor in today's blog.

I guess I'm just tired. Lack of carbs catching up to me? End of the week? Hormonal? I'm supposed to be on my cycle this week but haven't gotten it. I was expecting my period to stop at some point during training, as the body fat decreases so does the flow. (Sorry guys... I know you don't like that kind of talk, but it's part of the deal) Lisa said I'd get used to the feeling of being constantly tired, but as a recovering carb junky, I'm not loving the feeling. I'm used to being energetic! I have too much to do to feel this sluggish and it makes me cranky. I'm afraid that it will get worse before it gets better so I better start sucking it up and put my big girl pants on.

So today's training with Lisa was posing. (in the suit--with camera) I was feeling pretty good about things. I've lost about 5 pounds, people are starting to comment on the changes, and I'm feeling leaner - even thru the hiney. UNTIL today... Ugh... pics from the rear view?... I have only one word... panoramic. It didn't help that I have that awesome "runner's" tan line. You know the one.... nice tan legs up to about mid thigh and then it's the color God gave you at birth. Thank God I don't have to look at myself from the back! It ain't pretty people. Although Lisa, bless her heart, tried to encourage me that it will come off, "don't worry", "you're doing way better than I expected you to do".... That helped to calm the tears that were wanting to well up, but it still does not change the fact that I have to lose about 15 more pounds to be ready for the competition. Also... my stupid lats aren't growing and I have very little control over them. I assigned my family the task of coming up behind me, put their fingers in my armpits and telling me to push their fingers away. Hunter has already done it 4 times. And I have to hold it as long as they have their fingers there. I should be careful what I ask my family for. :-)

BUT I have to admit that one pose looked pretty darn good. The front chest. Not so much about the muscularity of it, but it made me look skinny. So take that you stupid camera!

Well, I better get to work. Got laundry in the works, a messy kitchen, a desk piled high with about a weeks worth of mail, dog tracks coming through the house, and daughter to pick up from school, snack to eat, dinner to prepare, massage class to go to...(better look for some clean sheets and fill my lotion bottles) and drink my BCAAs as I've had none today. Whew... I think I need another cup of tea and my super woman vitamins! At least I'll get a good massage tonight. I pre-picked my partner last Tuesday to insure that I'd get a good one.

Until next time.... Fake it 'til you make it... keep driving on.

Glutius Hurtius Maximus!

OMG! I'm so crappin' sore! As you know, I worked legs with Lisa yesterday and was expecting my soreness to peak tomorrow (which it probably still will, in which case I'll be hobbling around like a 90 year old!) but I am very sore today already. Not so much the quads as the gluts, gluts, gluts! My poor cheeks have been twitching any time I try to call them to action. For example, standing up after sitting for anything longer than 5 minutes, going up the stairs... oh, and earlier, I had to "run" (more like hobble-jog) from my car into the house cuz I forgot something and I my cheeks felt like they were going to rip off. So I had to call shenanigans on any kind of "bouncing" activity. THEN, after the leg torture was over we did some abs (as I mentioned in yesterday's blog). I wasn't really expecting to be sore from that either but indeed I am. I didn't really notice too badly until the last 15 minutes of my first class when I do abs with them. We did abs on the ball with slow and concentrated purpose and I felt the burn right away under my ribs cage. THEN an hour later, I was doing the same damn thing at the end of my KB class.... THEN... After Spin, I gave my class a 15 minute ab session again. I think my ribs are bruised... Everything hurts in my core. I have sworn off ab work for at LEAST 24 hours! ;-) WRONG! Since I'm working on posing with Lisa tomorrow, guess what... ABS... darn... I think I will punch Lisa in the butt when I get to her house so she can feel some of my pain. (just kidding, just kidding... Please don't hurt me, Lisa... I love you... really ... I was just kidding!) But seriously... I might do it..

"Think Thin"...

Sorry for the lack of blogs over the weekend. I don't want to bore with the usual "lift, sore, tired, goodnight....lift, sore, tired, goodnight" So now you are updated...

I've made it a habit to look ahead to my next meal often during the day. At night I always look to see what I get to eat for breakfast, and in the morning I look ahead to my meals for the day. I have my favorite treats, (bananas, peanut butter, anything out of a wrapper). My ultimate favorite treat is a Think Thin bar from Trader Joes (I think I get enlightenment from eating them..they are my LSD --see last post if you don't understand this) , and I get one today. I was so happy this morning when I saw that. I actually took some time to think about when I would eat it. I should be alone with my TT bar, so I can savor every bite. Should I nibble off the chocolate first like some people do with peanut butter cups? I wonder how long I can keep each bite in my mouth before I have to swallow? How many licks would it take to get to the center? Pretty sick right? Imagine if you had to eat plain chicken for a week and during that week you could have one snicker bar. How and when would you eat yours?

I have to say that I do like the foods that I eat and I am, in no way starving. The hardest part of the day for me is dinner time. My family eats dinner together at the dinner table every night, so it's hard for me to smell the delicious, flavorful, ... saucy........... cheesy........ spicy.......... carb loaded foods on the table, while I eat eggs, eggs, eggs.... (It seems like there are a lot of eggs in my life lately. BUT I get to put salsa on them which is delish! Sunday night my husband made chili and I LOVE his chili! It smelled so good, and I was so hungry that I had to eat half of my dinner before dinner and saved the other half until later, so I sat at the table with nothing and I almost cried, I wanted some so bad. I did have a bite, much to the chastisement by my children. It was sooooo good, it's been my only cheat.

Also... girl scout cookies are from the Devil.

On to workouts.... Lisa worked my legs like a rented pony today. I'm fearful of my heavy cardio day tomorrow. But if my pattern stays true, I'll have DOMS on the second day so Thursday's Spin class will be torture and after that I can "rest" my legs for 3 days. Lisa also gave me some ab exercises. I have lower back issues and it causes me a lot of discomfort. I also know that my hip flexors and psoas are very strong so they do a lot of the work when I'm trying to work my abs. I try really hard to disengage them but I just can't turn them off for many of the conventional muscle building ab work. Lisa has been great at trying to find exercises that don't pull my lower back and at the same time, force me to use just the abs. I told Lisa today, and I'll tell you too, that I HATE when weakness shines in my face. I'm not talking about the sun light coming thru the gym window last week during squats and shining right in my upturned face like an angel smiling down and encouraging me that I can squat that 150 pounds. It's more like the flashlight in the face in Blair Witch Project...." I'm scared.... so scared..." How can such a strong body have such a weak core? Ugh!... how embarrassing!

So here I sit, with the rain coming down, thinking about my Think Thin bar. *sigh...* It's going to be a good afternoon! :-)

TTYL!

Rachelle

Spiritual enlightenment at the gym??

I have a different kind of story for you today. But first, the facts.... my inner thighs are totally shredded today - can't even walk without pain! So I lifted back today instead of legs and plan to lift legs tomorrow..I better feel better! That's all... (although I enjoyed the cute blonde with pig tail braids, pink shirt and pants with a darker pink skirt over the top... really?)

So I had massage lab today. For those of you who may not know, I'm getting my AA in Massage Therapy, and I give a damn good massage. (insert ego here...) Lab is once a week and today was our second week, so we did introductions. Everything was going well..."Hi, I'm Billy Bob Jim Joe... etc" Until we get to the guy next to me. He is saying how he changed his name to Atrayu (yes, like "Never Ending Story" except this dude is too young to know anything about that) ... I had to ask him why he chose Atrayu as a name change? why not Derrick? or Billy? He says (the short version) that he was given the name by his "Enlightenment Mentor" at a spiritual retreat about 5 years ago (etc, etc.... weird... etc, etc) So this other guy asks him what was his "mode of enlightenment, mushrooms?" (I'm thinking..."Is this conversation really going to go here? I'm from ND for goodness sake!") Not mushrooms... LSD! He continues on about how it really helped him get healed from all his mental woes, and how he found such piece and enlightenment...etc, etc.... freaky... etc, etc. I'm last to go. Thank God I get to change the subject! "Hi I'm Rachelle...." married, kids, body building, done. Then I get the question from my Never Ending Talking friend, "So why did you decide to do that? Are you finding spiritual enlightenment?" I said, "No, I don't find spiritual enlightenment in the gym, I only find sweat, and iron, and physical exhaustion. I do it for the physical and mental challenge." Then my TEACHER says, "I'm sure you find some kind of enlightenment doing that at some level." I say, "No, I'm a Christian and I find my 'enlightenment' through God. At the gym, I just workout."

California is really a beautiful place but it is filled with freaks! (No offense if you are from here...unless you are freak too.. then you can be offended if you want. But I'm sure you won't think you are a freak anyway, cuz you fit right in with all your freak friends.... So it can be safe to know that I am not offending anyone)

Strike a pose, there's nothin' to it... vogue!

Things are going well in general. I busted my legs yesterday in class. Not sure what it was exactly, but I'm guessing it might have been the isometric lunges, combined with a new Turbo Kick routine and killer spin class. My inner thighs are so toasted... I hope I can get a good leg lift in tomorrow.

My meeting with Lisa was good. Finally we had time to get to some posing. Whew! What a workout that is going to be! I was happy that she felt encouraged by my progress. I still have a lot of fat to lose but Lisa was confident that it would come off.

My diet is going well. I had to giggle about tonight's meal though. Have you ever measured out 1/4 cup of cooked rice? and sprinkle 1/2 tablespoon of A1 on it? It looks ridiculously tiny on my plate! I saved one of 2 Boca Burgers to eat after my class tonight so that I don't have to go to bed starving. So far I like the foods I'm eating (for the most part), and I've stayed surprisingly satisfied. I look forward to anything that is bagel, bread, rice.... =carbs! I also cherish my occasional banana. But I'm not cheating at ALL and I can see little changes slowly happening. I think my upper body has grown a little and I've lost a couple of pounds so I have to have lost some fat.

My only complaint is that I seem to be sick again. It might be residual from my little bit of sickness a couple of weekends ago. I hope it's not a new bug, but it's deep in my chest and it hurts to cough. I'm hoping to rest out of it this weekend, as I have no more cardio until Monday. I've also been sleepy this week, but that might be the 'sickness' thing, or just the lack of carbs finally catching up to me. But I'm getting by and working my hardest to achieve my goal in a short 9 weeks!

Shout out to Lisa!

I trained with Lisa today. More food, food food talk. She gave me my diet for the next 2 weeks and I have to say that it was money well spent. Food planning and cooking stresses me out, so having to add counting every gram of everything and figuring out what to eat and when would have totally consumed my life (as if I'm not already completely consumed by this whole thing).

We then took about 30 minutes to knock out a few quick back exercises and I told Lisa that I need her for every workout! Unfortunately, I'd have to pick up and "extra job" to pay for that and I don't thing "The Sprinkler" would fair well with a stripper pole... so that's out.

After my speedy (but effective) workout, I went to Target for a food scale, the grocery store and finally Trader Joe's for all the foods on my weekly diet list that I knew I didn't have. $150 later, I was rearranging my cupboards to make it all fit.

There is quite a science to body building and I would highly recommend that if you ever want to try it, to find yourself a pro, sell a couple of non essential organs, and get as much help as you can buy! I could NEVER EVER have done this without Lisa. Even with all the advice and books out there. (Which I don't have time to read, cuz I'm always at the gym!.. or trying to figure out what to eat!)