Stripper shoes anyone?

I've been wanting to update my blog for over a week now and so the passion of my original "this is blog worthy" story has since passed. Who knows? Maybe the passion will come back to me as I write it out for you this morning. So there I was...

I had a couple of questions regarding the upcoming show and since the website is all in Italian, I felt it was easier just to call the organizer. I had heard rumor that the female body builders had to wear heels like the Figure Girls did, but I didn't really believe it. Body builders don't wear shoes! That was the least of my worries. I needed to know if the figure girls needed their own music (they don't), and if the judges would call hamstring pose as part of the mandatories for me (they won't ... "whew"! NOT a good pose for me!), will their be translation? (No - the calls will be in Italian), and as long as I have you on the line.... Do female body builders need to wear the clear high heels? (and this is what I heard... please listen in slow motion)... "Yyyyyyyeeeeeeesssss. For everything except your 90 second routine" (please now picture the scene with my jaw dropped, eyes wide, terror stricken!) I must now tell you that never in my LIFE have I owned a pair of 5" stiletto shoes. Even in my single college days! I guess I was always a closet athlete even tho I didn't know it until I was 32, because I have always chose comfort over fashion when it comes to shoes. ANYWAY... Skipping ahead to the part where I come out of my shocked state, then tears, and back to face reality. I got onto Amazon and ordered some immediately! I found some clear 4" and felt a little lucky with that. (lucky?...really?...)

The guy said that in the past there have been female bb's that have come from other organizations that have NOT had shoes and in that case, they have all the competitors go without. **wink** I might not "receive" my shoes on time **wink** But seriously... the projected delivery is May 31-June 3, so that is a very good possibility. PLUS, I need to be able to practice in them! I've been trying to practice posing on my toes and it's hard to keep my balance that way. But... I guess it's good for the calves :-) So, I sit and wait for my stripper shoes to come in the mail. Mike is excited. He thinks I might actually wear them! *HA*

Passionate story number 2.... So there I was....

You all know that I've been dieting hard and frustrations are ample with my lack of weight loss. Since March 7th I have only lost 5 pounds. I've had nearly perfect macros this whole time. I started with the written diet, following strictly. Nothing... Then after consulting with a figure friend whom I trust, I tried to increase my calories and add in carb cycling. I did that for about 3 weeks. Nothing... and I felt like shit for half the week. I decided to go back to just cutting calories. Nothing.... Then 2 weeks ago, I added more cardio sessions. Nothing... and last week I added even MORE cardio sessions AND watched and counted every single gram of everything. Still nothing.... (please insert Rachelle having a huge, tearful breakdown here....in fact, picture me on the track, doing sprints and bawling and panting and damn near peeing my pants... got it? ... pitiful!)

So I started to study. What am I doing wrong? Why is the fat not coming off? (BTW.. I'm not losing inches either so for those of you that a might be saying.."but you probably just gained muscle..." don't bother) (please skip ahead again to conclusion of study...)

So here's the deal... if you give a horse peanut butter it'll look like he's talkin'!

Sorry... bottom line is this. I've probably destroyed my BMR (basal metabolic rate - for those non athletes) by cutting my calories too low and probably too fast. Although I was taking in about the same calories as I did during last years diet, this year I have more muscle, I workout harder, and with my personal training schedule of about 4 hours a day plus a couple massages a week (at least), I'm sure it equals out to an additional 400 plus calories a day that I burn at the gym shifting weight plates, demonstrating exercises, doing occasional sets with my clients to keep them "up to speed" or just to help encourage them, or let them copy my form... and giving massages is probably like doing an hour of Tai Chi don't you think? And I never enter those calories into my exercise log. (sometimes I enter massages if I "need the calories" to justify eating more *wink*) SO, yes, I've been literally starving myself into diet failure. I even tried taking a thermogenic last week (I had free samples) and still on Sunday I was still at 130. I SWEAR my body just doesn't like to go under 130. It's my hardest plateau EVERY time I try to lose weight I get stuck there. After, some "scientific reading", discussion with the hubby, and much contemplation with my current comp day count down, I have come to the conclusion that I will look like THIS on stage in 2 weeks. Am I stage ready? HELL NO! ((confession... I'm still at 25% body fat)) For a body builder to get on stage with that much fat borders on embarrassing and here lies the source of my tears and breakdowns. Last year my competition was FAT. You can look at the pictures and you will agree that she had no business being on that stage. Although I still look better than her and thanks to some great teaching.. I think I am a pretty good poser. BUT, I have also looked at pictures of this coming show from last year and I'll say that these Italian women are EXTREMELY lean! Too lean, really. I think they look anorexic and stringy. I'll have more muscle BY FAR than my competition (compared to last year's pics) but I will have SO much MORE fat on my body. So, since it's an Italian show, lean-ness will likely win over muscle mass so I'm not at all expecting to do well. It is what it is at this point, I'm not going to lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I'm going to get on that stage only so that I can gain the experience of doing a European show so that when I AM ready and looking my best, I will have more confidence on stage and really kick some ass.

Back tracking just a little. On Saturday night, I was so low cal that when I went to bed, I was nauseous. I laid in bed sick until about 12:30 when I thought I'm going to throw up or I'm going to eat. So I ate a rice cake with some BNPB (Better-N-Peanut Butter), then went to bed and finally slept. Sunday was Mother's Day. After stepping on the scale and REALLY expecting some weight loss and seeing none, and I was extremely low energy I decided to treat myself to a mom's day breakfast and have a couple extra calories. Along with my cereal I ate one sweet potato pancake (paleo with no sugar...pretty harmless but still not on the diet). Sunday I ate 1600 calories and did not exercise at all -- OUTRAGEOUS!! . Monday, although I burned about 1200 calories, I ate a little over 1500 (more than I was eating by a couple hundred) AND I had a little bed time snack (although diet food...still after 7pm). Just out of curiosity, this morning I weighed myself expecting to see a pound gain.... 129... a pound lost. WTH? So for this last week, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and then do the same peak week diet as last year. After competition my goal is to diet as such to gain 5 pounds of muscle mass with 5 pounds of fat loss. The scale will stay the same for awhile and might even go up a pound or 2. In 2 months longer, I want to be 20% body fat and that's where I want to be during off season. I'll get on stage again with 20% but if I can keep it there all year, then next year my goal will be 14%. :-)

Of course I'll let you know how it all goes.

Happy eating friends!