Body Building 101

Vices and Strengths... What are yours?

2011-05-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

One of my facebook friends just posted this....

"If you were to choose your worst vice and your best strength, what would they be?"

I was going to respond... easy... but, then... not so easy! DISCUSS!

Vices... there are so many that if I listed them all, you would think I was either crazy or had the lowest self esteem on the planet! My biggest one??... I'd have to say that concerning food, it'd have to be peanut butter (sweets in general... carbs in general... but I always come back to peanut butter). Concerning my life? my tendency is to be lazy, I'm not a very good cook or housekeeper (neither of which I like much). Scholastically? I have a bad memory for facts and I'm a horable spellr. Personally? I'm pretty hard on myself.

Strengths?.. This is tougher than I thought it would be.

Sometimes I really wonder about my choice of profession. I look at my peers in the sport and I see how hard they work and how hard they push and I wonder... do I push that hard? I don't really think I do. I lift as heavy as I can... but do I REALLY push myself?? I teach 2 classes a week for cardio and I have to say that I push myself in those classes, but when I'm not teaching? I'm totally lazy. I've always said that I only teach to get my own cardio in! I'm really being honest when I say that! Although I really do like to teach WHEN my class responds to me. I'm a pretty fun and upbeat instructor but when my class feels like dead weight, then I feel like dead weight and I can't wait for the hour to be over. Fortunately, I have a big Turbo Kick class and spin is usually fun regardless because I choose awesome music, so if nothing else, at least I get to hear great tunes and burn some calories at the same time. So I guess you could say that one of my strengths is that I'm a good instructor but only when the circumstances are right. Hmmm...

I'm not really very disciplined..... I'm not really very motivated.... (enough to get me to the gym and thru my workout but nothing really beyond that)

When I'm on vacation, for example, I always have good intentions to workout but don't do nearly the workouts that I plan to. If I was more motivated and disciplined, then no one would be able to HOLD ME BACK from working out. This is not the case.

I have a tendency to be selfish with my time (I RARELY volunteer), I have a potty mouth when I get away from church, and when I'm around certain "potty mouth" friends. And I'm particularly potty when I'm tired, dieting, or just plain.. DONE.

I'm not very patient with people who are stupid and annoying.... Like weight droppers, head phone singers, and extra loud noise makers.

I get jealous of others who are leaner then me (that's a lot of people) but they also work harder to be that way, and I choose to NOT work that hard.

I do love my kids and my husband. But I'm far from being the perfect wife and mother.

I think I'm a very good massage therapist, but I'm still young in the profession and feel like there is so much that I don't know. Instinctually tho, I'm very good.

I care about others, but I'm no Mother Teresa (please refer to the "I'm selfish" part)

So what are my strengths?

In my eyes I'm just a jack of all trades, master of none. I'm good at lots of stuff, but not really EXCELLENT at anything. Am I really being that hard on myself? I know that the average person doesn't spend nearly the time in the gym that I do, but compared to other athletes/instructors/trainers, I'm average or below average. Compared to the average person, I eat a pretty healthy diet, but compared to my athletic peers I still have SO MANY food vices and bad habits.

I guess I haven't figured out what my strengths are yet. What are yours?

Show Day May 21, 2011

2011-05-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

Ok OK... I figured I better get blogging right away so all my friends can hear the details of the show so I can move on with life and put this show and training season behind me and move forward into my new training cycle.

I don't have to go back and talk about the anxiety that I had going into the show. It's old news that I didn't meet my goals and felt like I still had way too much body fat to compete. No need to recap those feelings. With that said, I'm going to make a short statement so some of you can log off and get back to what you were doing. I did not place. I was way out of my league and although my upper body may have been competitive, my lower body pulled me out of the running to place.

If you are not interested in the details, you may leave now. **wink**

I learned a lot today. This season in general, I made a lot of mistakes with my diet mostly, and plan to rectify those mistakes starting on Monday. I will also take the week off before the show. It was way too hard to teach, train, give massages, try not to stress, get in my workouts on zero energy, babysit my figure girls (not in a bad way...they just got a lot of my attention) be a mom and all that goes with that. I felt it was too much and I was very unfocused the last week. Since I was so far from my goal, peak week was more of a "practice run" anyway, but next year, I'll be a force to be reckoned with and will want to have better focus. (It's a very selfish time). I also learned that, although it SUCKS that Mike was TDY for the whole week and missed the show. It took me about 4 days into the week to realize that it might have been a little easier to diet hard without the spouse at home. The kids don't care to eat the same food all week (the 2 meals that I prepped on Sunday) so I never had to smell food cooking and they don't snack after 7. It's not Mike's fault. He is an endurance athlete and eats way more calories and carbs than me. But I can hear him eating potato chips from half way across town and it can irritate me when I am strung out on peak week! (Love you baby!) As for "show lessons", here are several...

1) Italian women do not follow the "no thongs allowed" rule. I was the ONLY female bodybuilder with OUT a thong.

2) Italian body building shows, apparently, allow the females to wear bejeweled suits, big jewelry, and of course... the dreaded... stripper shoes. (no need to recap this nightmare)

3) Italian woman have absolutely NO modesty. This I actually already knew, but here are the details.... So... the locker rooms were labeled "male" and "female". This I am sure of because my client Tammy is Italian. Besides Donna and Uomo are two words that I know in Italian. So we three American woman enter the woman's locker room. There stood about 6-7 Italian woman, naked (with thongs) with their MALE trainers patting them down (with their HANDS) with bronzer. Re-cap... half dozen naked woman and half dozen men in one big LADIES locker room. There was a second "space" that had open showers, but there was a door that opened that the 3 of us hid behind and quickly changed into our suits. Tammy was mortified, I was all like, 'hell no', and I think Sissy was just in shock, or maybe I was in shock because I don't remember if she said anything at all. She was the only one in the room with implants (trust me... I am MOST sure of this, as all the naked woman had tiny tater tot boobies just like mine) She might have been thinking that these women might go into shock and AWE at the sight of her Ds! (They are very flattering, Sissy... you look beautiful).

4) They did not supply any weights to pump before going on stage. I had intended on bringing a band but forgot it. LESSON LEARNED!

5) Lessons for me personally... on the front relaxed pose, I need to bring my hands/arms out more, Nair worked way better than shaving, and Karin's Island Tan solution was prettier than ProTan and only one coat. It also dried faster and felt less sticky. I'll be using that next year and promoting it to my clients. And finally... if I'm not ready to compete on show day, I'm not going to.

Now... Let's just address the stage and get that out of the way. Here I just have to talk a minute. Get this straight in your heads.... especially if you are a local friend. I DON'T THINK I'M FAT! I can walk thru the gym rockin' the spandex with confidence, and have a strong self esteem. I have LONG come to except the shape of my body and know that I will NEVER have a size 2 behind, and I'm OK with that. I like my shape. Please remember these words as I continue with the facts from the show. A body building competition is not only about muscle mass and symmetry. It's about SEEING the muscle and being lean is a big part of the game. I know you all think I look great, etc., but here is the truth. I was truly and without exaggeration too fat to compete on that stage tonight. I was out of my league and that is the truth. You can not look at the pictures or video (which will only be for MY own eyes) and tell my that I did not look fat. My upper body was competitive, although not quite as lean, definitely equal mass if not better mass that at least half the girls, but, again, because they were more lean, they LOOKED bigger because the cuts were better. My posing was confident and graceful, although is was incredibly hot on the stage! It was way hotter than my first competition. I barely broke a sweat last year! This year I was dripping before we even finished the quarter turns! But after the first round of mandatories, I was moved to the end and that is where I stayed. For those that don't know, the center is where the winners stand. You never want to be on the end.

I need to write a little blurb here. My kids and sister were sitting right in the front row, very near the judges table. Hunter kept yelling to me "I love you number 43", and the announcer let him yell that into the microphone. :-) It was so sweet, of course I about started to cry, but held on by a thread.

After the mandatories were over, we all left for a little bite to eat. (skipping ahead to shorten the story). Sissy's youngest son got sick and she had to take him to the Vicenza clinic. She was not going to make it to the night show. I had JUST watched the video that my sister had taken of the mandatory round, and I was literally feeling like I was falling into a black pit. My mood was going from pink to black and I was on the verge of tears. The kids were complaining that they wanted to leave (actually Tianna is exempt from this statement), and honestly I think Megan was bored too although she was neutral about "whatever". Tammy said, "Do you want to leave? I don't really care either way." So all these things within a 10 minute time frame and I was in the pit. At that moment, the last thing I wanted to do was get back on the stage. Although I loved the night show last year and had a great time with my routine. Even the kids enjoyed the night show last year although it did get a bit long in the tooth and we left after the body builders were done and all the "T and A" started (aka... bikini, swim suit model, Miss Fitness, etc.) So we went back to the venue, found out that the show was going to start 30 minutes later (which almost surely means 1 hour later) getting us HOME well after midnight, and to continue with the short version of the story, we left.

Of course as soon as we walked out of the building, decision made, I was regretful and a bit angry. Neither of my girls got the full experience of a show. The night show is the fun part! And not only did they NOT do their T walks, they didn't get to watch the entertaining part! The morning show is boring, even for the contestants! I felt like a quitter and that's not who I am. AND I really would have enjoyed staying just to watch the show, even if I was too much of a coward to go back on stage. (ouch.. it hurts to say it like that... but it's the truth) I'm the mom and the trainer and I could have easily said, "Suck it up buttercup. We are staying" But I was feeling bad because my kids were bored to death, Sissy was with her kids and Tammy didn't care and was desperate for a shower (so she said). I know that Sissy and Tammy were not in the top 6, so they had no potential to place, they just missed the experience.

Hence lesson #6) Next year I will drive separately, and either get a hotel, or NOT bring the kids. Leaving before the show is OVER will not be an option. Period!

There was an aweful lot of talk today about the end of the world. I can tell you this... there was judging... I FELT like I was in Hell... but I'm still here. So you will see me at the gym on Monday!

1) Side relaxed pose. 2) Abs/thigh pose. This is a hard pose for me and I always have a constipated face. I'm always trying so hard to show my better feature (the abs obviously), but trying 3 times as hard to save the weaker feature (the legs). 3) Rear Double Biceps, by far my best pose ... IF I could somehow do with without facing the rear... hmmm... Again, although the back is great, the bottom half is my absolute worst feature and standing to the rear is the worst position for the worst feature. (hence the cropping) Actually.... Kaelyn was my photographer and since she KNOWS how I don't like my legs, picture #1 is the ONLY one she took that shows my lower body. Side relaxed and side chest are the best poses to show the legs. So you really don't get to see the view that gets me all riled up. 4) finally we are all on stage, I think I had just been moved to the end and was just getting back into my front relaxed pose. It's looks like I'm not quite "there". But you can see that my competition was all pretty fierce.

Me and Tammy at lunch. Putting on a happy face.

Thursday

2011-05-19T04:24:00.001-07:00

totals the same as yesterday.

I feel surprisingly good again today. I don't really get it. Statistically speaking I should feel pretty crappy, but my spirits are up, my energy level feels pretty normal. I taught a decent spin class and worked up a good sweat. I'm going to lay out for a while, then get a massage, talk on Skype to a book club in the states about living in Italy, then leave for the airport to pick up my sister.

That's all....

Wednesday... 3 days

2011-05-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

Totals:

Cal: 1078

Fat: 18.3

Carbs: 65.6

Pro: 162.7

water: 1 gallon

exercise: 30 minutes empty stomach, 30 minute moderate intensity, light legs

I feel surprisingly good today. I imagine tomorrow it will hit me. I really feared the worst today since yesterday I was such a hot mess all day. But I had a fair amount of energy at the gym, gave a massage, and didn't really feel super lethargic all day today. I laid out on the trampoline for a couple hours and worked on my new workout plan that starts on Monday. I think I am more excited about that than I am about Saturday.

Today I had my waxing appointment. I have an Italian girl that does all my body work. She has been doing the cellulite mud treatments on me for about 4 weeks and she also does facials and waxing and massages... I see her every weekend and we are becoming friends. I'm getting used to the non existent modesty that Italians have (European's in general from what I've heard). There is just no being shy when it comes to body work here. I've gotten to where I just get off the table and get dressed with her in the room starting to clean up and stuff. Whatever. So $60 later, I'm as bald as a monkey's ass with a 30 minute massage to boot. When I got home, I had Tianna Nair my back and I Nair'd my stomach and tops of my legs. Everything else has been thoroughly yanked out! She did a good job tho. No plucking what-so-ever! I was very thankful! Ladies.. you know what I mean. Yyyouch!! But even after a long warm shower, my skin feel a little weird... like it's so smooth, it's sticking to my clothes. Is it weird that I just want to touch myself? hehehehe... sounds so dirty! But you know how a baby's skin in so smooth that you can just stoke it and it feels like silk? yep... and I'm sleeping alone all week. WTH? Sorry honey...

So tomorrow's diet is exactly the same as today. I get to teach spin... I'm sure that will suck, but I'll do my best. (again) I put a notice out to the gym that I'm going to stop teaching this lunch time spin class starting in June. I had 3 new clients call me today! I stack my clients on the hour and Thursday spin is 1130 to 1245. It totally jacks up my client stacking! Plus it's a volunteer class, and clients pay... hmmm... 2nd hour of cardio in one day, not paid, can fill the slot with a paying client, and make my day more efficient... not a hard choice. Plus, I'm really going to focus on building muscle for the next 8 months and don't need the extra cardio.

What else... I'm going to tell a funny story about my beautiful Italian client. On Monday, she posted to my FB wall that she hated the steel cut oats. Fair enough... hot cereal is not for everyone. I asked her if they were cooked enough? If you don't cook them right they taste kind of like undercooked pasta. She said, "You have to cook them?" Ahhh... I needed that laugh! So the next day I asked her again about her breakfast, and she informed that she still doesn't like them, but at least she is not eating kitty litter!

I better get ready for bed. Tomorrow will be long, and I'm driving to Venice airport to pick up my sister!! I'm so excited to have her come to my show, even if I'm fat. *wink* Tammy is going to ride with me since she doesn't fly in until 10pm and I'm afraid that my second day of low cal/low carb will not fair well with late night driving. It's bad enough during the DAY! AND I'm getting another massage tomorrow afternoon!! A massage can make everything better :-)

Tuesday 4 days...

2011-05-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

Totals:

Cal: 1336

Fat: 28.7

Carbs: 145.3

Pro: 124

1.25 gallons water

exercise: Spin class, 15 min HIIT and 20 minute moderate intensity. light upper body circuit

I don't know why I felt so crappy today after yesterday "hi cal/normal carb" day, but I wasn't feeling anything but tears. I just couldn't get myself out of bed when the alarm went off at 6 for empty stomach which was going to be my "20 minute moderate". I vowed to do it at the gym. I got my upper body circuit in but it took every effort to lift my hands up to the bench press bar. I did 4 rounds of bench, tri presses, abs, pull downs, curls, abs and mil press. (light weight, 12 reps on all) Then I taught spin, which was lame at best. I barely did enough to break a sweat, yet I felt like I gave it my all. I got a text message from Mike during class cuz I forgot to turn my phone to airport mode and that made me cry. Most embarrassing. Not sure if anyone noticed. Yeah for hat day! I announced to the class that I would not be teaching kick boxing on Thursday but I would teach a spin instead. Then an employee said that she would teach a circuit class for me so I am grateful to her. I was able to drive around without any accidents but I still felt like I was 'drunk driving'.

Tammy came for her workout and she was a hot mess, crying, which made me cry too. It's just the diet. She did her workout and then we had a nice chat as we chilled on the trampoline. It was a nice relaxing afternoon and I got some paperwork done. I wasn't too hungry this afternoon, but I also sat around and did NOTHING that required energy.

Tomorrow I'm done working at the gym at 11 and I have a massage at 12:30. If I can get thru that, I'll be golden for the day. Just have to bring Kaelyn to piano/voice lessons and after that I'm getting my massage and "mud treatment" from my Italian pal, Chiara. I'm not ashamed. The mud treatment is supposed to help cellulite and although I'm not sure if I can really see the difference, the massage feels good and it makes my skin feel soft. Plus she works for pennies compared to what I'd pay for that kind of spa treatment in the states. Wanna be jealous?? ok... I pay her $30 American for the mud and massage and then she massages my back for 30 minutes. I'm generally there for 1 hour and 45 minutes!! $30 people! I know you would do it too if you had a Chiara of your own. If you are living in Italy, I MIGHT share her with you as long as you don't take my appointment time!! hehehehe... J/K! (not really!) Also, tomorrow night she is doing the ...dun, dun, dun... private property waxing.

Besides the tears that just wanted to keep on comin' today... it was pretty good day. Oh and also, I didn't do my HIIT or my 20 minutes moderate.... so I didn't complete my workouts BUT I didn't cheat on the diet!! Small victories! At this point I feel like maybe the diet is more important?? I don't know. Lisa would probably disagree and reprimand me for not getting it all in. Sorry L! Tomorrow I'll get in my empty stomach, I promise! And I plan to ride the bike at home while Tammy does her leg workout. Tammy.... make me do it!!

5 days...

2011-05-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

6am... I'm awake but don't want to be. Have to pee again. I'm not sure but I thing that's 5 or 6 times. I don't think I pee'd this much last year. I'm definitely hungry this morning, but going to do my empty stomach cardio before I eat. I didn't get up in time to do all 30 minutes before having to monitor the kids' progress for school prep, so I'm going to do it at 7:15 after they leave.

Empty stomach cardio done.

Todays totals:

Cal: 1561

Fat: 30.5

Carbs: 163

Pro: 158.6

water: 1.25 gallons

exercise: 30 minutes empty stomach, 20 minute HIIT, 20 minute moderate intensity, light legs

8:30 I think I'm going to take a nap. Sono stanka.

Laid around until 10 and figured I better get up, eat, shower..something!

I got to eat a protein bar, which I thought would make me feel better cuz I love them! But it only took me 2 minutes to eat it and now I have to wait 3 hours before I can eat again.

I'm feeling very low and sorry for myself today. I'm very low energy, just like I figured I would be, but I can't shake this embarrassment of having to get on stage with my current body. Everyone's like, "I can't wait to see pictures!".. and I'm all like, "not if I can help it... or, upper body only." There are a lot of people from Aviano coming to the show and I wish they would all stay home! I'm so PISSED at my lack of fat loss this season that I feel like throwing up! I need to get out into the sunshine I think.

On another note. I played with the "Nair" hair removal on one shoulder to test it out. I think it worked pretty good. Last year I had a lot of hair despite my shave efforts, so this year I'm going to try to Nair instead. The only problem is that it smells like vomit. I washed twice and put smelly lotion on.

At 1:00 I get to drink a FULL MetRx packet with a scoop of Muscle Milk. It's one of my favorite snacks (besides protein bars :-) and a full packet+scoop is 400 calories so I'm looking WAY forward to it. It's one of few meals this week that is NOT chicken and veggies so it will be enjoyed! It's only 11:05....

11:20... still sitting here... For mind numbing entertainment, I went back to peak week blog from last year and I feel about the same but last year's blog was so much more entertaining! I've gotten boring in my old age. Or I just don't have the same motivation to be entertaining. I have no Lisa to inspire me, no Kate to encourage me and be my bestie friend, and not even Mike to love me and hold me up when I fall down. And now I'm crying... I miss Kate.

12:39 Had my body fat tested today. Down 2% to a whopping 23%... ugh! I'm fat! And what's worse, is that I'm NOT FAT! So for those of you "non-body builders".. please don't be all "you look great, you're not fat... blah blah blah.." Really, I know. Please remember that the "fatness" is all relative. Low body fat is part of the sport and right now I am not doing the sport proud. I'll get it next year.....

Is it time to eat yet? I still have to workout. blah...

8:06pm, my workouts are done, my food is all eaten, I've given 2.5 hours of massages, taken Kaelyn to the Dr, taken out her trash cuz her feet have blisters, paid Tianna to load the dishwasher for Hunter since he is late getting ready for bed (cuz I was doing a massage). Hunter has ring worm... will need to take him to Dr tomorrow or he will be 'banned' from school. sigh.. I'm frickin' exhausted.... Is it time for bed yet? I still have 2 more bottles of water to drink!

Peak Week 6 days

2011-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

I decided to blog daily for peak week. But don't be surprised if you are not entertained. I am keeping a journal for myself so I can reference back next year if I need to.

Today:

1059.9 calories

17.5 fat

67.4 carbs

158.2 protein

1.5 gallons of water.

no exercise today but I spent all day in the kitchen

So I will confess that the last 3-4 days I have deliberately added calories to my diet. My macros are still in line, but I haven't lost any weight in 6 weeks and I'm starving myself into desperation. I figured that if I'm not going to lose weight, I might as well add a couple of calories so I can function. Last year, this time, I had very little commitments and I spent most of the week on the couch. This year is quite different and to top it off, Mike is out of town all week. So yesterday I ate extra calories in hopes to get thru the week in a little better state than I have been. (Surprisingly, I lost a pound on Saturday morning) I didn't have very much trouble with today's low calorie, but I'll probably feel the effects of the low carb tomorrow rather than today. BUT tomorrow I get to eat many of my favorite foods! I get a shake AND a protein bar AND some peanut butter! What could be better? So I'll get lots of happy food tomorrow :-)

Here are some pictures of today's food prepping.

I'm also peeing every 15 minutes from all the water today. And I still have 1 more bottle to drink before bed. Any wagers on how many times I will get up in the night? I'm guessing 3.

I feel calm and confident with my food this week after all the prepping. All my food is pre measured and ready to warm up or put right into my lunch box. With the kids' lunches and dinner made, I don't have to worry so much about my non-ability to NOT cheat. I don't have to touch or prep any food all week long! This makes me happy.

Overall, today I feel like a 4 on a 1-5 scale (5 being great). My belly is big but it's either from yesterday's calories, today's water, or my coming period. (sorry men...) Either way, I'm not worried about my poochy belly. For the most part, it's part of my body and I can tighten it up flat when I need to. It just takes thought.

Stripper shoes anyone?

2011-05-09T22:38:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to update my blog for over a week now and so the passion of my original "this is blog worthy" story has since passed. Who knows? Maybe the passion will come back to me as I write it out for you this morning. So there I was...

I had a couple of questions regarding the upcoming show and since the website is all in Italian, I felt it was easier just to call the organizer. I had heard rumor that the female body builders had to wear heels like the Figure Girls did, but I didn't really believe it. Body builders don't wear shoes! That was the least of my worries. I needed to know if the figure girls needed their own music (they don't), and if the judges would call hamstring pose as part of the mandatories for me (they won't ... "whew"! NOT a good pose for me!), will their be translation? (No - the calls will be in Italian), and as long as I have you on the line.... Do female body builders need to wear the clear high heels? (and this is what I heard... please listen in slow motion)... "Yyyyyyyeeeeeeesssss. For everything except your 90 second routine" (please now picture the scene with my jaw dropped, eyes wide, terror stricken!) I must now tell you that never in my LIFE have I owned a pair of 5" stiletto shoes. Even in my single college days! I guess I was always a closet athlete even tho I didn't know it until I was 32, because I have always chose comfort over fashion when it comes to shoes. ANYWAY... Skipping ahead to the part where I come out of my shocked state, then tears, and back to face reality. I got onto Amazon and ordered some immediately! I found some clear 4" and felt a little lucky with that. (lucky?...really?...)

The guy said that in the past there have been female bb's that have come from other organizations that have NOT had shoes and in that case, they have all the competitors go without. **wink** I might not "receive" my shoes on time **wink** But seriously... the projected delivery is May 31-June 3, so that is a very good possibility. PLUS, I need to be able to practice in them! I've been trying to practice posing on my toes and it's hard to keep my balance that way. But... I guess it's good for the calves :-) So, I sit and wait for my stripper shoes to come in the mail. Mike is excited. He thinks I might actually wear them! *HA*

Passionate story number 2.... So there I was....

You all know that I've been dieting hard and frustrations are ample with my lack of weight loss. Since March 7th I have only lost 5 pounds. I've had nearly perfect macros this whole time. I started with the written diet, following strictly. Nothing... Then after consulting with a figure friend whom I trust, I tried to increase my calories and add in carb cycling. I did that for about 3 weeks. Nothing... and I felt like shit for half the week. I decided to go back to just cutting calories. Nothing.... Then 2 weeks ago, I added more cardio sessions. Nothing... and last week I added even MORE cardio sessions AND watched and counted every single gram of everything. Still nothing.... (please insert Rachelle having a huge, tearful breakdown here....in fact, picture me on the track, doing sprints and bawling and panting and damn near peeing my pants... got it? ... pitiful!)

So I started to study. What am I doing wrong? Why is the fat not coming off? (BTW.. I'm not losing inches either so for those of you that a might be saying.."but you probably just gained muscle..." don't bother) (please skip ahead again to conclusion of study...)

So here's the deal... if you give a horse peanut butter it'll look like he's talkin'!

Sorry... bottom line is this. I've probably destroyed my BMR (basal metabolic rate - for those non athletes) by cutting my calories too low and probably too fast. Although I was taking in about the same calories as I did during last years diet, this year I have more muscle, I workout harder, and with my personal training schedule of about 4 hours a day plus a couple massages a week (at least), I'm sure it equals out to an additional 400 plus calories a day that I burn at the gym shifting weight plates, demonstrating exercises, doing occasional sets with my clients to keep them "up to speed" or just to help encourage them, or let them copy my form... and giving massages is probably like doing an hour of Tai Chi don't you think? And I never enter those calories into my exercise log. (sometimes I enter massages if I "need the calories" to justify eating more *wink*) SO, yes, I've been literally starving myself into diet failure. I even tried taking a thermogenic last week (I had free samples) and still on Sunday I was still at 130. I SWEAR my body just doesn't like to go under 130. It's my hardest plateau EVERY time I try to lose weight I get stuck there. After, some "scientific reading", discussion with the hubby, and much contemplation with my current comp day count down, I have come to the conclusion that I will look like THIS on stage in 2 weeks. Am I stage ready? HELL NO! ((confession... I'm still at 25% body fat)) For a body builder to get on stage with that much fat borders on embarrassing and here lies the source of my tears and breakdowns. Last year my competition was FAT. You can look at the pictures and you will agree that she had no business being on that stage. Although I still look better than her and thanks to some great teaching.. I think I am a pretty good poser. BUT, I have also looked at pictures of this coming show from last year and I'll say that these Italian women are EXTREMELY lean! Too lean, really. I think they look anorexic and stringy. I'll have more muscle BY FAR than my competition (compared to last year's pics) but I will have SO much MORE fat on my body. So, since it's an Italian show, lean-ness will likely win over muscle mass so I'm not at all expecting to do well. It is what it is at this point, I'm not going to lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I'm going to get on that stage only so that I can gain the experience of doing a European show so that when I AM ready and looking my best, I will have more confidence on stage and really kick some ass.

Back tracking just a little. On Saturday night, I was so low cal that when I went to bed, I was nauseous. I laid in bed sick until about 12:30 when I thought I'm going to throw up or I'm going to eat. So I ate a rice cake with some BNPB (Better-N-Peanut Butter), then went to bed and finally slept. Sunday was Mother's Day. After stepping on the scale and REALLY expecting some weight loss and seeing none, and I was extremely low energy I decided to treat myself to a mom's day breakfast and have a couple extra calories. Along with my cereal I ate one sweet potato pancake (paleo with no sugar...pretty harmless but still not on the diet). Sunday I ate 1600 calories and did not exercise at all -- OUTRAGEOUS!! . Monday, although I burned about 1200 calories, I ate a little over 1500 (more than I was eating by a couple hundred) AND I had a little bed time snack (although diet food...still after 7pm). Just out of curiosity, this morning I weighed myself expecting to see a pound gain.... 129... a pound lost. WTH? So for this last week, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and then do the same peak week diet as last year. After competition my goal is to diet as such to gain 5 pounds of muscle mass with 5 pounds of fat loss. The scale will stay the same for awhile and might even go up a pound or 2. In 2 months longer, I want to be 20% body fat and that's where I want to be during off season. I'll get on stage again with 20% but if I can keep it there all year, then next year my goal will be 14%. :-)

Of course I'll let you know how it all goes.

Happy eating friends!

"Happy" Easter!

2011-04-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

4 weeks out... I finally lost some weight! I went from 131.4 to 128.8 this week. Whew!... I had threatened to throw my scale out the window and run over it with the car if I didn't lose weight this week! I don't know if I could have REALLY followed thru with that, so it's a good thing I met my goal.

I've passed a large stepping stone in my training...Easter. Last year, I had a BAD binge on Easter. I baked home made buns and ate about 11-teen of them WITH additional peanut butter, along with several other cheats. The day ended with tears and depression and fear that last until the end of the next week. I'm happy to report that I had NO cheats yesterday. It sure does help being paleo so I didn't have to fight the bread cravings at all. I'm also happy to report that bread cravings no longer plague me. :-) I love being paleo! On the other hand, I did have tears but not because of cheats. ... here is the story...

After church, I decided it would be a good time to take pictures. It was a sunny day and I did my hair for once. :-) I was feeling pretty good and suspected that I would be pretty happy with my progress. Unfortunately, I was not happy with the progress. I compared the pictures to last year 4 weeks out and although I'm bigger thru my upper body, I was skinnier last year thru the lower half. I think my legs look very soft and undefined. (I'm being kind to myself with this comment). The pictures made me sad and frustrated.

To make matters worse....

We were invited to have Easter fun with some friends... of course... a pot luck. (Always a bad idea for ANY dieter) I kindly declined the invite and my friend understood, but I did agree to bring my kids who are friends with her kids. When I dropped them off I was conveniently STARVING. I didn't mean to go hungry but my hunger can sneak up on me very quickly now days, and if/when I get really hungry I go into a sort of "panic". It's weird actually, but my body literally starts to go into panic mode. Heart rate rises, and I get very upset and emotional. Just the thought of "not being able to eat a that moment" makes me want to cry. SO... recap.. I'm hungry, going to pot luck, I'm hungry. When I get there, the Bubba burgers are on the grill. If you don't know what Bubba burgers are, they are probably the most delicious and most FATTENING burgers that you can buy. In the house was something baking that was so obviously full of cheese that the smell filled my entire head and that alone almost brought tears. On the counter were sugar cookies ready to be frosted by the kids, and on the table, friends were stuffing eggs with chocolate for the upcoming egg hunt. Big breath... actually... DON'T BREATHE... Unfortunately my "not breathing" talent was not at full potential yesterday. I was able to withstand the sights and smells for about 10 minutes max and I had to leave. I pretty much waved goodbye to all and practically ran to my car fighting back tears. Everyone at the party probably thought I was a real crab...or stuck up or something.

One of my Italian friends who is also training for figure, same comp as me, posted pictures on FB of her Italian Easter dinner with family... 2 appetizers, a couple of main courses, at least 2 desserts. And she sat for hours with this food in front of her and didn't eat! Honestly... my hero! There is NO WAY (based on the early pot luck episode) that I could have withstood THAT! Way to go Eleonora... she is one sexy bomb of a lady, let me tell you! I ain't got nothin' on her! I tell you that story just to remind you that looking amazing for competition doesn't come without some blood, sweat and tears... lots of tears.

So the hard dieting continues for 4 more weeks. I've decided to log my foods (as I have continued to do) and restrict my calories to my BMI plus exercise -500 calories. So if I want to eat a couple more calories, I have to do more cardio, and of course the calories will come from lean protein. That is how I lost 2.6 pounds this week. It's also the most logical in my mind. I'm still carb cycling with this calorie watching method.

Also, post competition plans have been made. Sissy and I are going to drive up for the day and drive home after the competition. Mike can't go and her husband can't either. Neither one of us wants to have a big gorge meal as we both have plans to maintain our accomplishments. But I DO have a bag of Maple Covered Peanut Clusters that I got myself for Easter. We were picking up some candy for the kids for Easter and I saw these and they jumped off the self and literally made my mouth water. That's what happened last year with the frosted animal crackers. I drooled over them for 2.5 months! At least I only have 1 month to drool and dream about the peanuts. I think I will also bring some Sesame Rice crackers, which I LOVE. Something sweet and something salty.... that will do. If I get a bad craving between now and then, I'll eat it, but I have no desire for pizza or burgers/fries or anything like that.

Here are some 4 weeks out pictures so you can see and agree with my opinion.

Paris...French Fries anyone?

2011-04-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'd like to start today's blog with a piece of advice. If you are training and dieting for a competition, do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT take a trip to Paris for the first time! Sheesh! Stupid 16th birthday wish! So, yes... my oldest daughter turned 16 and we went to Paris for her birthday. After having 2 weeks of "not so great weight loss", we packed our bags and went to Paris. Great idea! I brought the TRX, a band and plenty of protein bars, rice cakes, Muscle Milk and peanut butter. We started in Milan with Mike running the Milan marathon, so we started out adventure there and I was motivated and fresh. I worked out pretty hard the first 2 days, and ate clean. We walked and shopped all day Sunday and most of Monday. We arrived in Paris Monday night and had just enough time to find our apartment and go for dinner. Our first French meal out. We were all starving. I ordered roasted chicken with fries (french fries come with everything in France apparently, and frankly, they are not as good as the fries in Italy.... weird) So I ate my chicken... and my fries.

Tuesday - A short and lame workout and breakfast in the room - perfect. Hit the train to Versailles and walked for about 4 or 5 hours. Ate a protein bar for lunch and a gluten free cookie for a snack. We ate dinner there at a "Tex Mex" place (of all things!). I had chicken fajita, no chips or dessert. The family ate "not so clean" and every one of them regretted it. I gloated.... **smile** Then we got back to Paris and did the Eiffel Tower... it was my favorite part of Paris. Truly beautiful. It was also here that I had my first French crepe. Shared... but ate most of it myself... it was amazing! I vowed that I would have another by the end of the trip. ((but I didn't))

Wednesday - I booked us a bike tour of the city. Pretty clever of me, huh? Again, shorter and lamer workout in the room before breakfast. Ate lunch with bike tour at a cafe, sandwiches only... had ham, plain... white bread. It was boring and it's been so long since I've eaten white bread that I really didn't even like it that much. There is no whole wheat bread in all of the places we went in Paris and it's the same in Italy. I have yet to find whole wheat bread at any cafe. After the bike tour we went to Notre Dame and explored the Latin Quarters. We ate dinner at a French restaurant with a fixed menu. I had French onion soup, roasted chicken (with fries) and an apple tart. It was delish! And I felt guilty... but it was DELISH!

Thursday - Euro Disney! We packed protein bars, but spent ALL DAY there and had to eat there. Let me just tell you that there is NO HEALTHY FOOD at Disney!! I didn't log any of my food that day and wrote the whole day off as a "free day". There was a slice of pizza, fried chicken and fries (no grilled options!) and a chocolate covered waffle..... I am ashamed... I did it up good that day and just hoped that 8 hours of walking would be enough to burn it all off.

Friday - The Louvre. Again with the protein bars (the last of them), but had to eat a late lunch there.... at McDonalds! Yes a McDonalds in the Louvre! I had grilled chicken salad with no dressing and NO FRIES!! It was good actually! Again, my family ate yucky and felt awful. I gloated... again. From the Louvre, we came back to the apartment, ate a healthy snack, checked out and headed to the airport. We drove from Milan, late night, required "late dinner". Mike and I had a sandwich from an AutoGrill at about 10pm with 2 hours left to drive.

I can't even tell you how anxious I was to get home to my gym, and my clean pantry food. My family was equally happy to get back to paleo eating and even the kids talked about how they felt so gross and GASSY and couldn't wait for some clean chicken and veggies! Warms my heart... truly. I went to the gym on Saturday first thing, did some extra cardio and ate clean and low calorie all weekend.

Monday morning I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. I weighed in at 131.4... 1 pound heavier exactly from the Monday before vacation. So in 2 weeks time, I gained 1 pound. I seem to have lost 1/8 inch off my thighs and 1/4 inch off the rear.... 1/4 inch plus in the stomach. So there you have it. I have cut my calories on about 4 days out of the week. (the 3 days not cut are low carb days... torture enough for now) and I have increased my cardio as well. Time to get some sweat going at the gym. Well... even more sweat than before.

At this point I'd be happy to end up at 120 but that is 11 pounds in 5 weeks. A pretty hefty goal.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2011-03-30T11:35:00.000-07:00

So after a couple weeks of slow to no weight loss and my resulting panic attack along with not having ready access to Lisa (who I am going to try to stalk down tonight in a final desperate attempt) I have come down to another BIG change in diet.

Maybe I should just let things run it's course and see what happens but ..... I am not a patient woman. I had a lengthy conversation with my new best friend, who is a beautiful and stage ready (in my opinion) figure competitor who took first place in her last competition. She asked me if I had ever tried carb cycling and I said no. Only the last week of prep when you deplete carbs for about 4 days and then "carb load" the day before competition to plump up the muscles. I begged her to spend some time with me to explain, et al... (I bribed her with a free massage... man that skill comes in HANDY!) So here's the deal...

Two days of high carb, about 2300 calories on a macro ratio of F/C/P 20/40/40%

two days of low carb, about 1400 calories on a macro ration of F/C/P 20/20/60%

This is BFF's contest prep diet starting 8 weeks out. Period. No calorie cuts. Now, listen up buttercup! Here is Rachelle's GIGANTIC problem. My calorie consumption ranges from 1100 calories on Sundays to 1750 calories on Thursdays my 3 hour workout day, and 4 days are roughly 1450 calories. I haven't eaten over 2,000 calories in one day since my post contest bingeing MONTH. And that gained me 20 pounds in 3 weeks! Do you see a concern here? I'm adding .... calculating... well... about 300 more calories per day if you average it out over the week. That's an entire extra meal per day even on the "low carb days". Plus I'm adding several grams of carbs throughout the week. Half of my brain and my mouth are thrilled about this prospect, but the other half of my brain's big concern is what will happen to my BiG @SS if I add 300 calories a day?? However comma... I will be eating primarily meat and veggies. Hmmm... sound like anything I've blogged about here recently? Maybe... can you say... PALEO? Remember how I started the diet doing paleo and I changed to "the diet" after my first week of no weight loss? But I have to say that my paleo was modified and I was eating plenty of rice cakes (and peanut butter.. but not over 20% daily fat) and other "packaged foods" and supplements. Now I will try ONLY whole foods.... lean meats (and LOTS of it!!) and veggies. Fruit is allowed but as a BB, as apposed to figure, I want to achieve vascularity. I did not really achieve this last year but striving for a little more this year. To achieve vascularity, you have to cut all sugar to thin your skin as much as possible in order to see striations and veins. Gross?? ... My kids think so. I think it shows tremendous work, sacrifice, and discipline, and these are the competitors that win. I still think I need one more year to build, but ... I guess we will see.

So why did the chicken cross the road?? I guess, so it could come over to my house and end up in my fridge!

Cluck! Cluck! Ya'll!

8 weeks out pictures

2011-03-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

May 26, 2011

I'm still very drawn the the left side chest pose. It was my strongest pose last year and I think it still is. But here are a couple more. I'm 8 weeks out. Back/lats are coming along and arms are thicker than last year. The rear end needs to lean out and I really want to get some cuts in the legs. Hopefully I will achieve that in the 8 weeks to come. I will not likely post any more pictures until the end. :-)

Dirty mouth? ... Clean it up!

2011-03-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

As I sit here drinking my 1/2 MetRex with 2T PB (my favorite shake of the week!) I decided that I would blog about something I did that is really embarrassing. Are you ready?

So I have this thing with peanut butter. Have you figured that out yet? If not.. you are kind of slow and should probably check to make sure your helmet is fastened securely. ((if this is your first time reading my blog, you have a "by" on the 'slow comment'... Let me get you up to speed... I love peanut butter)) My kids eat waffles for breakfast almost every morning (Van's Gluten Free) and they all enjoy peanut butter on their waffles. They get that from my side of the family. If you have children you might be able to picture what the knife looks like after they are done using it. Poor knife looks like it's been thru some kind of PB horror flick. Well, any good peanut butter lover could not POSSIBLY allow a knife covered in perfectly good PB to just go straight to the sink. There might even be a law against that. So being the law abiding citizen that I am, I always lick the knife before throwing it in the sink. Besides, a utensil covered in PB doesn't get clean in the dish washer so I'm helping in many ways. This is my morning routine. Lick the knife, sometimes the fork, and if there is a remaining bite on the plate I will usually eat that too. Call it my little daily "happy vitamin".

On Monday, the kids left for school and I was left to do a quick clean up and take my vitamin. Hunter's plate was on top of a bunch of dishes in the sink. No harm, nothing else touching it. Fork with one bite left of waffle, so I pop it in. What's that? ... What's that horrible taste? ... Spit spit spit... rinse... spit... rinse... spit...

One of the kids had washed hands before leaving and there was SOAP on the plate! It took me over an hour to get the taste out of my mouth! So kids, what did we learn from this? DON'T EAT OUT OF THE SINK! EVEN IF IT'S PEANUT BUTTER!

Now I just make sure to clean all forks and knives BEFORE they reach the sink. (At least I didn't eat out of the garbage!) So there you have my embarrassing cheat confession. I ate soap all in the name of peanut butter.

On another not so embarrassing note. Today I did pose practice with the figure girls from Aviano that are doing the competition also. They are all incredibly beautiful and have super smokin' bodies. I can say that and still be straight right? But it's true. They have all worked hard and are dieting down and it's all paying off. I'm the lone body builder of the group. I realized that I have not practiced posing for almost a year and boy did I feel it! My legs were on fire! So I have officially put pose practice into my workout schedule 3x a week. On top of that.. I see a lot of wall sits in my future. :-) Although I'm currently weighing in at 132, and have between 12 and 17 pounds to lose in the next 8 weeks, I feel strong and confident.

Ps... So did I find Waldo? Yes! I finally caught up with Lisa, and it was great catching up with an old (aka, young, hot and inspiring) friend! Thanks for the chat Lisa!

Where's Waldo? (I mean Lisa?)

2011-03-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

Reflexions of a desperate body builder...

So you may be asking yourself, "How's Rachelle doing with training for her second competition without a trainer?" (or maybe you don't really give a crap) Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. No one is forcing you to read this blog.

It all started with a book... The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf. Enough said! Just read it yourself and you can form your own conclusions. As for us, we are going for it and have been for 2 months. I have slightly modified as I have kept my Kashi Go Lean cereal for breakfast and the occasional Toufayan (if you have never tried these, they are the awesomest tortilla in all the world--AND low carb/hi protein) "We" as a family have also "modified" the paleo to include gluten free foods like rice cakes (my favorite treat), Quinoa pasta and the number of other gluten free foods grows. The kids still eat some dairy although we switched to Silk (soy milk) which the girls both prefer and the boys and I don't really drink milk anymore at all. But the kids still eat some cheese and yogurt. But it turns out that Tianna has some lactose intolerance anyway so we have cut the food budget considerably with the, now small dairy budget. I digress. The point is.... a paleo diet is very clean - meat, veg, fruit and we added gluten free products which are all mostly made with rice/rice flour. Also you will not likely find any food in our house that has processed sugar. (besides the occasional treats for the kids) SO in all my "young wisdom" I decided to try to see how much weight I could take off for competition training by eating paleo (sans the fruit) and tracking my calories. Calories in vs. calories out - right? Things have been going well and I have lost about 6 pounds with not too much effort.

So why am I "desperate"? Well, perhaps it's too soon to panic, but I did not lose any weight last week (well, not true... I lost .2 pounds... Whoopie!.. but essentially, I didn't lose anything) So now I'm at a place where I have to lose 2 pounds a week to meet my weight goal of 115 by comp day. BUT... I've also gained some size since last year so maybe 115 is too light? I'll tell you this.... I looked at some videos of the women in last year's Italian competition and they were all smaller than me in musculature (save for maybe one that was close to my size) but they were all very very lean. I really want to lean out thru the legs and gluts this year and that darn booty just doesn't want to let go! You know, it's been a part of me my whole life.

I wish I had a trainer to tell me what to do with myself! Is 115 too little now that I've added mass? Should I continue with the paleo eating just cut the calories? Should I start adding more cardio now? or wait for another couple weeks? I think Lisa went on vacation and forgot to pack me in her bag. The nerve! I mean, really Lisa? You're just up and going to leave me alone to self destruct? **wink**

On a more positive note, my 2 figure clients are doing GREAT! One has lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks and the other has lost 2 but working her butt off to gain muscle. These 2 girls work so hard, I'm intensely proud of them both and I can guarantee that I'm going to cry like a proud mother when they are up there on that stage. So why can I be confident with them but not with myself? I guess I'll wait one more week before I hire a private investigator to track down Lisa. And then perhaps a kidnapper type person to bring her to Italy for the next 2 months. NOT TO MENTION that having a trainer makes for WAY better blogging! Don't you miss the Angel vs Devil stories? And there can only one first time tanning/waxing/shaving/painting stories.... Ahhhhh... good times.... Although I've heard some interesting stories about waxing in Italy. Stay tuned... maybe I can make a good blog for you to be entertained... for once!

A TOAST!!..... to MEAT!

2011-02-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

As I sit here with my second glass of my favorite sweet wine, I ponder on the next 12 weeks. I have 2 clients that I'm training for their first Figure competitions and I've completed their diets and workouts for the first 3rd of the diet cycle. I was nervous enough about training myself without Lisa, but now I'm training others! At some point I would have to have my first bodybuilding client but .. already!? I have to admit that 1/2 of me is scared to death and the other 1/2 is excited and can hardly wait to start seeing changes in them! I'm sure I'll keep you updated on all of that.

So how is this Paleo diet thing going to work into my body building diet? I don't know! I'm not sure I want to eat bread. I haven't had bread for 2 months and I really don't miss it. Bread, as you may recall is one of my weaknesses... remember Easter? Can I really substitute gluten free crackers and rice cakes for ALL of the bagels and sandwich thins on my menu? I think I'm going to give it a try. I'm also going to try to eat dinner with my family. We are eating paleo together for dinner so it's meat, wild rice and veggies of some combo or another. It's really clean, very low fat, no processed anything and lots of protein. I'll give it 2 or 3 weeks to see what happens on the scale. As of this morning, I'm 136. Only 3 pounds lighter than when I started the diet last year. I was hoping for 134 (5 pounds less than last year) but I've also put on some additional muscle, so I suppose it comes out in the wash.

So diet is on the mind, and I have to tell you about a funny story about a vegetarian client of mine. She asked me for nutrition advice and because she is a vegetarian I just decided to give her the book "The Paleo Solution" to do the arguing for me. It's a great read, by the way (even tho I'm only on chapter 5, Mike has given me the 4th grade version). So she returns the book to me at the end of the weekend and says, "I agree with 98% of it. All except the part about the meat." Hmmmm... it's a PALEO diet! It's 98% ABOUT THE MEAT!! So she kind of missed the point and I had to just laugh and tell her that I hope her massive amounts of pasta get her the body that she wants and that she gets a proper amount of protein from excessive amounts of spinach! ((can I just say... YUCK!?)) I guess you can't help everyone, but in the mean time, I'm working the crap out of her and I'll do whatever I can in the gym to help her get at least half way there.

So, COME ON PEOPLE!.. don't be stupid with what you put into your mouth! (Please ignore the fact that I've had a half a bottle of wine tonight and 5 pieces (one serving) of Dove Dark Chocolate to celebrate the start of another 12 week diet.)

ARMAGEDDON!!

2011-02-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

It feels like armageddon in the Sian house today. Mike got home from his TDY to the states and while he was there he took a sports nutrition class. I was very excited for him to teach me the things that he learned and for him to come home and take over the meal plans and cooking. (he cooks a lot normally anyway because it is my number 1 most disliked chore) let me just cut to the chase with the background of today's blog by saying that in the end, the diet that we are about to embark on is a Paleolithic one. I can safely go beyond calling this a diet and just say that I'm pretty sure this is going to be a lifestyle change.

As we were driving home from the airport and mike was telling me all the reasons and benefits for going Paleo I was shocked and amazed at how we could all still be alive right now! (( just like my generation should have all died because our mothers let us sleep on our tummies as infants and if that wasn't bad enough, we were never made to wear seat belts!)) Anyway, although giving up my coveted breads and pastas was scary, I was, for the most part, on board to try it out.

For dinner Mike made green bean "spaghetti" (sub green beans for pasta and add extra meat to the sauce) it was good and the kids liked it. Ok so far so good. Then I added the dinner to my food log and realized that 1cup of green beans only gave me 7.8g of carbs! Please tell me how I'm going to get thru 2+ hours of workouts a day on the number of carbs I will get from vegetables? "No! no!" Mike says, "You get lots of carbs from potatoes! We just didn't have any to make tonight." Ok, whew! But wait! How do I feel about eating potatoes 3x a day for the rest of my life? After my first competition I was so sick of eggs that it's now been officially 9 months since I have eaten eggs and they are still unappealing to me. And that was only a 3 month diet! So now I'm getting nervous. THEN I learn that I also can't have dairy! Giving up dairy for 3 months was one thing and I still haven't gone back to milk since I drink muscle milk on my cereal (one of my life long favorite meals BTW) ever since and I love it! But I love cheese and yogurt and so do my kids. The kids and I will keep some dairy at least for awhile.

So I finished off the last serving and a half of chips (whole wheat pita) while Mike showered yesterday. Then this morning I told the girls that if they wanted anything from the snack drawer they better pack it in their lunch today. After a full understanding of what was going to happen to the "processed" food supply in our house they proceeded to freak. It was quite entertaining actually to watch the panic as they packed an entire extra bag of fiber one bars, fruit snacks and pudding (along with an entire box of reduced fat cheese-its) into their "Feed the starving children in Africa food bank" as they were calling it. I know Mike is not going to be pleased that I allowed this to happen but they promised to ration it all and when it's gone it's gone. If a cold war happens in the next month at least we will have a secret food stash at the school. I even snuck a Fiber One bar into my bag this morning and it tasted so damn good. That's when my breakdown happened. It was my turn to freak out. After venting a bit to Jessica I felt a little better. I guess I don't handle food changes very well. The body building diet scared the crap out of me but in the end, the food was good and with the exception of a few bad moments, it was all ok. I'm sure this will be ok too. I'll tell you this however... As of today, I'm not giving up my cereal or dairy. I don't eat a lot of dairy anyway but the kids will get to keep that for now at least. That should help the home life a little. Mike also said we will be able to eat bown rice and rolled oats and we will look for gluten free bread and stuff. Maybe I can handle that. After all, I just, got a recipe book called 75 ways to love your oatmeal!!!

Got pump??

2011-02-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard body builders or muscle heads talking about getting a pump? Pump iron, get my pump on, pump up, pump-itude :-) Of course you have!! Feeling a pump is an actual thing. "What causes the pump is that blood is forced into the area by the action of the muscles and the pressure of the cardiovascular system, but there is no comparable force drawing the blood out of the muscle. Therefore, this extra blood stays in the muscle for some period of time swelling it up to a much bigger size." - Arnold S. Well... this little lady has never felt the pump before, just exhaustion... Until yesterday. I felt the pump in my shoulders yesterday and it was pretty darn cool. And, indeed, they felt and looked huge! (relatively speaking :-) I've been really excited about lifting the last couple of months and I'm pleased at the results.

Today, as I was catching a ride on Sissy's back as she buddy carried me across the gym, I couldn't help but think "I love my job". It's great to push people to work harder than they thought they could and watch the results happen. But who is going to push me when I don't think I can go harder? This week I have been very tired. I'm not sleeping well and I have to dig deep to find the energy to have a good workout. I have to consider the beginning signs of over training. As it is, I didn't run on Monday, and today was supposed to be 5 miles and I slogged out 2.2. Granted, I was limited on time with an incredibly busy day today, but still.... 8 miles on Saturday is not going to be fun at all. I sure hope Jenny can run with me. The company and accountability is an enormous help to me. In the process, my new friend is finding that she can run more than 3 miles... and with relatively little pain and agony! (unlike me, who talks her poor ear off the whole time to distract myself from my own pain and agony!!) And I've decided not to lift tomorrow between my two classes. I'm currently lifting every body part 2 times per week (except for legs - only once) so I can afford a day of rest. :-) ((that is...if you consider a 1 hour kickboxing class followed by a 45 minute spin class a "day of rest" :-))

So there you go.... Have you gotten your pump on lately?? If my little muscles can feel a pump, I know yours can too! Or run across the gym with a buddy on your back! Do an extra set of everything and leave the gym knowing that you pushed your body.

Round 2... ding... ding!

2011-01-29T05:53:00.000-08:00

It's been several months since I've blogged. Is that how confession starts?

Here's what's new with me.

I have moved to Italy. I completed my first body building competition, took a long hiatus from the gym (and dieting), gained back 20 pounds which are sitting in my trunk just waiting for me to rev the engine back up. I started teaching almost right away at the gym here and it wasn't long before I started to get the itch. You know... the itch. When you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, so you "itch" to make the appropriate changes. It's not always about fitness. Sometimes you yearn to learn, create and redecorate, desire to retire, etc. So I got the ball rolling on a personal training contract and then decided that it was time to start "training myself".

I have chosen my second body building competition. May 21 I'll be on stage again. This time without my trainer and mentor, Lisa. Does that freak me out? YES! I'm all on my own this time and on top of that, I have a girl training with me that is also doing her first competition, and she is counting on ME to get her there just like I counted on Lisa. I get to consult with Lisa and I desire to email her daily to confirm that what I'm doing is the right thing, but then I'd be stalking and she would send me a bill...and a restraining order. :-) I guess I have to pull up my big girl panties and drive on with what I know.

How often do you struggle with your self confidence? I was scared to death at first but I've started to see changes in my self. Physically, my lats are growing and I feel bigger and stronger than I did at the end of the first comp, and I've lost 4 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I have 16 weeks to comp day and want to start the 12 weeks out diet at 130/133. At 12 weeks last year I weighed 139 (ish). Over all I want to be 115 on comp day (compared to 119 last year). This time I SWEAR I'm going to come back the right way and stay at 130. And I'm going to keep up the blog so you can help me to stay accountable to that. Mentally, I'm gaining confidence as I see my client (let's call her Jessie) gain some muscle in her shoulders and continue to increase weight as she gets stronger and stronger. I can't wait to see her start trimming down. Her first dietary changes start in a week with the loss of dairy. Right now she is just advised on calorie and macro guidelines, and I'm watching her food intake as she enters it online. There will be plenty of dieting in the near future.

Here's the CRAZY thing. Amidst the training and the new client AND a first time figure girl that starts training with me next week.... I'm also training for a half marathon. Isn't that counterproductive? you might ask? Why YES... yes it is... Lisa told me I was crazy too but that's how I like to roll I guess. Push the boundary. So why am I building and cannibalizing at the same time? 1)) the half is in Rome... HELLO!.... ROME! And my husband and several others are going down together. It'll be a good time :-) 2)) I'm hoping to trim the legs with the extra running. I was unhappy with the lack of cuts in my legs last year, hence the extra 4-5 pound weight loss and the running. I can also eat a little more carbs with all the extra cardio :-) You all know, that's good for me! The half marathon is 9 weeks out from comp so after the half I am hoping to have my legs on track for a lean mean posing machine!

But the running is hard for sure! I am always tired because the lifting has priority. By long run day, I'm pretty pooped from the weekly workouts. I have an awesome partner to run with and we are pretty compatible although I think she could easily out run me if she had a mind too. We ran a 2 mile up hill today (sandwiched into a 6 miler) and I about died. I don't think she hardly broke a sweat, but the last mile home, I helped to keep her going. Next weekend I'm at 8 miles, it's torture every step. I'd rather do anything else besides running for cardio but I'm hoping it will all pay off in the end. I guess I'll keep you all posted.

I have to ask my clients if I can blog about them. I'm sure I will have funny stories as I laugh about their soreness and calorie depletion... oh wait... then I have to laugh at myself too! Well, I do plenty of that!

It's good to be back! Talk to you all soon!

Whacha all been up to??

Can you be social and skinny?

2010-05-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

Food ... Friend or Foe? It's been one month since my competition. I was an unusual 119 pounds and feeling great! Knowing that I'd gain it back, I have written a couple of times already about my mental food struggles. I've learned a lot about myself in this time. Even though I've turned into a scale addict, I weigh myself daily to see how the previous day affected me. I've found that if I eat any calories more than about 1700 I will gain weight, and if I keep it between 1500 and 1700 I can take the previous day's weight gain off in 2 days. So I can only go over calories once every 3 days if I want to maintain my weight. Obsessive? Yes! I still log all of my foods, I look for recipes that are clean and then I make changes to them to make them cleaner. I figure out the macros and put them in my log. I made a page to my "approved foods" list of recipes that are delicious and that fit into acceptable macro ranges. This way when I start my next diet (next fall) I can still cook meals for my family that we all enjoy and I can get some variety... making the whole experience easier. I haven't had as much time to do that this week however, because it's the last week before the big bargain fair and I have to finish getting ready for that... cleaning out closets, pricing and packing "sell" boxes into the neighbor's empty shed.

I have had a lot of social functions this week. I posted this question on Facebook a few days ago.... "Food for thought".... Can you be social and skinny at the same time? And by this I don't mean your "natural" weight. Most women want to lose at least 5 pounds, but their bodies like to stay at 'such and such' weight. So if you want to be that 5 pounds thinner, can you be social and go to social events? We all know that social events almost ALWAYS involve food. "Let's go to lunch!", the neighborhood BBQ or block party, end of the season pot lucks for piano, sports, classes, scouts, clubs. Then we have several friends that are also PCSing soon, so we say, "let's get together for dinner!" "Let's have a girls' night out! Wine tasting and dinner/drinks"..... Are you following? If not... then you need to find some friends and live a little! OK.. so this week alone, I had boy scout ice cream social (which Mike went to), breakfast with a girlfriend (after we worked out, of course), my last NPS class which I brought apple Fiber One muffins with protein powder (healthy but added unscheduled calories to my day), a pot luck for massage lab, wine tasting and dinner with "the girls", 'going away' dinner with friends last night, neighborhood block party tonight. There are 2 more scheduled for next week but both on Friday. And then Sunday we leave for vacation for 2 weeks! I'm hoping that it won't be too hard to eat healthy--mostly... but I won't be able to count the calories.

Anyway, the responses to my FB post were some like, "eat small portions", "plan for the extra calories by cutting calories earlier in the day", "workout more on those days", and one answered "NO". I have to agree with the last person. When I was 137 pounds, I could eat anything I wanted in any quantity and not gain weight. The scale might fluctuate, give or take, 2 pounds but I never had to worry about it. God made me a comfortable 137... my given natural weight. THEN the "diet" happened, I lost 18 pounds, looked great, felt great and trying to only come back half way. Well... guess what?... my body wants to go back to 137! My goal was to stay under 130 and I really have to fight to stay there. So can I have friends and meet my goal? I just really don't know. So far it's not really working out. I hit 130 this weekend. It's no surprise with the amount of social stuff this week. It's been unusually busy. I think I've done PRETTY well at portion control. But when people bring food to a pot luck, they bring the best tasting recipes that they have! You know... the ones with lots of butter and real sugar and lots of cheese.... they don't bring rice cakes, protein brownies, or vegetable cookies! (I do have a zucchini cookie recipe that is delish! But if you want them to be good, you still have to ad sugar!..no butter tho). So even if you portion control, you are still eating a lot of extra fat and sugar than you normally would have. So you say... well, just don't eat it! SURE!... That's just an EASY thing to do!! (yeah right!)... and the other option would be... don't go. Then you have ask... how much do I like having friends? Listen, when I was training, I was almost exclusively antisocial for over 3 months. My friends would invite me and I'd say no because the temptation was too great and it made me crabby to not be able to eat all the tasty foods that were out. So after awhile my friends stopped inviting me. I started feeling left out...which made me ... CRABBY! There is no way to win people! If I had better will power, I could go to parties and not eat.. but I don't have it. I don't think I ever will. Although I think I will get better and better about portioning. I've already gotten a little better with my control. But other things are coming out, that I am having to deal with and it's not as easy as just "not eating it". I went through some bulimia issues in high school. To make a long story short... I don't think I ever quit bingeing. I just quit purging and started exercising. I never even realized that I was bingeing until now that I have the freedom to eat again, and I'm counting the calories. Now, when I have a "bad moment", I feel like I've totally screwed my day, and I'll be like.. "well I might as well screw it big today and I'll just start over tomorrow". The good thing is that I have recognized this as a problem and I'm trying to work it out. It's gotten better! I go back to conversations with Lisa and Kate, and try to coach myself through those moments. "This food is going to be here tomorrow" "You don't have to eat it all now, you can have this anytime you want some"...etc. I really am getting better, but I have a ways to go. Things like this take time and patience. I get frustrated with myself and this is where Kate comes in. It's time to confess that Lisa is no longer in my life. She felt like she was too invested in my success/failure after the competition and because of my repeated food failures (which I repeatedly confessed to her) she felt that she was wasting her time with me and I haven't talked to her since 1 week after the competition. I was crushed, of course. It's almost like I went thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger held on the longest, but then I started to realize that I had put her up so high on a pedestal and had unrealistic expectations of what she could (and would) do for me. I think we both made a mistake. She was too invested in me, and I didn't rise up to her expectations and I relied too heavily on her and she didn't hold up to mine. I let her down, and she left me. I think we both lost.. I lost a trainer and mentor and she lost a friend. In the end, I've had to learn more from myself and have talked a lot with Kate about food issues, as we both have similar problems. It helps to have someone to talk to that understands the difficulties. It's not as easy as "just don't eat it", which is what Lisa wanted from me. I felt like such a failure because I couldn't just "not eat it". Why can't I be like her, and just not "effing" eat it?? And because of that, I lost my trainer and someone I thought was my friend. (another mistake on my part). Friends will stick by you even when you fail continuously, trainers will fire you when you waste their time. I can't say that I really blame her, honestly. I wanted to be her friend but was still a client. I will have to be wary of that when I start picking up my own clients. There is a fine line there, and I do have a tendency to want to be friends. Our different personalities will make us very different trainers but it's still something to keep in mind. In the end, I still learned a TREMENDOUS amount of stuff from Lisa and she made me into a body builder which has changed my life.... the way I look, workout, the way I think and eat. I'll always be grateful for knowing her.

... And that's all I have to say about that.

I'll probably blog again after my vacation to let you know how it went.

If you didn't know better, you'd think we were lesbians

2010-05-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

Things are getting better since last weekend's BBQ. On Tuesday I weighed in at 127 and was a bit depressed by my lack of control and dedication to my body. After an hour with Lisa, I felt better as usual and had 3 really good days of eating clean. On Friday morning I weighed 124. Yeah! Yesterday was International Language Day out at DLI and I took the kids out of school early to go. I knew I was going to eat something, gave myself permission and ate breakfast and snack accordingly. After perusing all the vendors we came across the Italian bread booth. Aahhh.. food heaven. Since I gave myself permission to eat something, I tried to choose very carefully. The owner of the booth was very kind and let us sample almost everything on the table. (There were 4 of us (Kate, Tianna, Hunter and I) sharing each sample so it was just a bite for the most part) My favorite item, BY FAR, was the home made monkey bread. Do you know what that is people? Bread with cinnamon and sugar swirled in? It's amazingly awesome! I told him I wanted a loaf of THAT and he put one in a bag for me. As we continued to look and taste, I decided that nothing good could come from me buying a whole loaf of monkey bread so I apologized and asked if I could buy just one slice. (A little something that I learned from Lisa just Tuesday). He GAVE me 3 slices, which only made me guilty enough to feel like I had to buy something! So I bought a loaf of whole wheat bread made with no butter and no sugar. It was full of nuts and bird seed... not cinnamon and sugar. So I walked away feeling pretty good. Then there were some emotional triggers last night and I had a couple of drinks, and then went on a nearly 2 hour walk with Kate.

I love Kate. She is such an awesome friend. She continually comes to my rescue, always encourages me no matter how many times I fail at the same damn task no matter how simple that task might seem. Her and I have the same type of weaknesses so we understand each other perfectly. As we walked and talked and she expressed her jealousy of my continuous walking farts, I realized that I may never find another friend like her. For those of you who know Kate, and she suddenly disappears from the area... don't fear, I probably just acted on my desire to adopt her as our permanent auntie/nanny and took her with us to Italy. I already invited her on her own free will but she wants to stay here and teach and start her career. That's just a crazy, ridiculous and absurd thing for her to do if you ask me! So I may have to take her by force. I even tried to convince her that she would surely find a handsome and rich European husband, but ..*sigh*.. she denied me this one thing. So I toast, with a jar of nuts to my ever steady, never will divorce me, always will support me and love me, friend Kate. Thanks for everything, my friend.

I think I've gone blind....

2010-05-09T21:10:00.001-07:00

So yesterday was the big celebration BBQ. I talked a lot of smack about getting drunk and eating everything in sight. I did the second part of that for sure. I worked like a dog in the kitchen all morning baking, laundry, cleaning, tearing our fence down... you know, everyday stuff. When it got time to start drinking, I had to take Kaelyn to the mall, cuz I said I would, but I misunderstood that she wanted to go do Plato's closet. So I took her but had to stay while she shopped. When I got home I was an hour from party time and still had to make the salad, and then Julie came over to roll out her awesome home made rolls. The chaos continued in the kitchen for me, while hubby and friends were starting their beer "wizard staffs". I made a margarita for myself but kept setting it down to eat, and yell at the neighbor kids. By the time I finished eating I was too full to drink. My belly was so full and distended that I think I got some stretch marks! I felt yucky when I went to bed.

Today was Mother's Day, not as bad as yesterday but I feel just as stuffed. Tomorrow I am going to enjoy my clean diet food and even going to cook chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner.

I did have some great workouts at the end of the week though, because I am STIFF! My back from Thursday and legs from yesterday. It's awesome to feel that.

post contest diet, stalking? and whatever else comes to mind

2010-05-07T12:51:00.001-07:00

Last night I had a little emotional moment and I had to take some quiet time to pull myself together....

So there I was...

OK, it's not going to be a passionate, make you laugh story. Sorry, Jason. I've been thinking a lot about post-contest diet and gaining the weight back since I STARTED training back in January. I thought (and still think) that I have a pretty good handle on the realistic situation of it all. But somehow, I still worry about it and feel a little guilty when I eat foods that have not been on my diet for the last 3 months. I've gone back to the early March version of the diet but still cut stuff out where I think I can because I give myself more leniency with my evening dinner with my family, so I try to conserve calories where I can. I'm still not eating after 7pm and I will maintain that healthy habit forever (I hope... unless there is drinking involved and then I can't be responsible for what goes in my mouth. Luckily I don't drink that often) So then, what's the problem? you might ask. I don't know. Lisa said that post competition is a huge "mental fuck" (her words of course :-) I can understand why. I can eat, and have been.. trying to keep in moderation, which MOSTLY is happening.. still not buying "naughty foods", just finishing up what's left from post comp gorge. What's the problem? Maybe it's just PMS. This morning I weighed 122.2 (up 3 pounds from Saturday) I don't think that is bad at all. I figure at least 1 pound of water retention. I'm hoping to stay 122/123 for another week or 2. This weekend will be a major caloric kill. We are having a HUGE BBQ in my honor to celebrate that I can eat. I plan to taste everything and drink plenty of Smirnoff. Then Sunday is Mother's Day. I'm sure there will be a treat of some kind. So I'm trying to be extra good today and yesterday. So on Monday our house should be purged of all things tempting (I mean BAD tempting like cake/cookies/alcohol.... ) So again, back on the diet I go. Still doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.

So here is the problem, I think. This might sound totally retarded and creepy so please don't judge. I think, in all honesty, that I'm feeling a little separation anxiety.... from Lisa. I don't want you to think I'm like, stalker status or anything. But Lisa is leaving in 3 weeks (or less) and she is super busy with all that. I am not training with her or consulting with her 4 times a week. I don't have her to tell me what to eat, and how to workout. I think I feel like a little part of me has gone away. Weird? It feels weird to me too as I just met Lisa in January. It's not like we have been lifelong friends. But for 3 months she has been my rock, my mentor, my trainer, my disciplinarian, my source of knowledge in all things fitness, my shoulder, my friend. I don't really feel ready to take on the task of continued training without her but I have to. It's like someone is pushing me into a pool of cold water and I HATE being cold!

In the end, I'm a strong woman and I will be ok. :-) I might wander aimlessly around my house mumbling and rambling on about random nothingness.. but as long as I don't start rocking myself into the wall repeatedly, I'll recover from post competition/trainer moving trauma.

I guess I'll post on occasion to let you know how the post comp diet is going. Lisa said that she has seen some crazy things happen to people post comp. Who knows? You might still get some good stories. In the mean time, I still enjoy rice cakes with peanut butter. My ultimate goal is to hang out between 125 and 130 while gaining 5 pounds of muscle mass in my upper body. That way, come this time next year, I will be kicking ass at my next competition in Italy somewhere. For those of you that are face book friends, you will hear about it and I will probably start blogging again. I think that blogging helped me to stay accountable and motivated. Plus, it was a bit of therapy for me too.

Competition pictures

2010-05-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of the show. Although the organization itself was very unorganized and the day felt chaotic to be kind, I had a great time when I finally got my turn on stage. I was nervous but I did my best and I don't think the nerves showed. There were only 4 of us in the bodybuilding category and the 2 ladies to my right were in a different category that me so I was stuck with the marshmallowy girl to my left who had no business being on that stage. She knew it too and tried to drop out of that category but she was not allowed to drop. She was embarrassed to be there and I was embarrassed for her. So it was an easy first place for me. I was really hoping to have more competition so I could really brag about it, but I'll still take my trophy and put the ranking on my resume.

The night show was a lot of fun too. My routine went well, I didn't stumble or forget anything. I smiled the whole time and even tried to "egg on the audience" for applause. Pictures of me in the red suit are from the night show.

After the show I ate 3 slices of pizza, a 1/2 bottle of wine, and various treats and cookies. On Sunday I had a pretty decent breakfast, but then ate lunch at Rainforest Cafe, chocolate covered peanut butter cookie, and Cold Stone ice cream for 'dinner'. I was actually nauseous by bed time.

Today I was going to get back on the wagon but ate banana bread for breakfast, Myo frozen yogurt for lunch, more banana bread for snack, Mexican Fiesta Salad Pizza for dinner (pretty low fat but HI in sodium), and yet more banana bread for another snack after spin. I'm finding my motivation to not stick to the diet very weak now that the competition is over. My "food baby" has yet to be delivered. I'm going to try again tomorrow to stick to a clean "pre ~ peak week" menu. I only want to gain 10 of my 17 pound weight loss back. But the way things are going so far... we'll see. I think I will not beat myself up too much this week. Lisa told me I could just relax and eat whatever for a week, but my plan was to just have some dinner with my family and stick back to the diet otherwise. So far that has not happened... but it's only Monday.

Friday Carb Day

2010-04-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

Friday! Carb Day!! I think it should be a holiday, even though most would consider my menu boring and bland. I get my steel cut oats as usual, then a cup of rice (twice), a rice cake and a sweet potato! I feel great today. I couldn't run a marathon but I still feel great comparatively speaking.

I had my photo shoot this morning and I think it went well. I saw some rough snaps off the camera and I know I will have a lot to choose from. I should have drafts in 2 weeks and I feel like a kid at Christmas! It will be a long wait!

I started blogging on Friday but didn't finish and now it's Sunday night. I'm posting this as is and will blog about the competition tomorrow.

9 hours to carbs!!! I'm coming for ya baby!

2010-04-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

6am... are you effing kidding me? I really have to move right now?

6:15 ... I stumble going down the stairs to spin class (I don't fall) but it still makes me cry cuz I'm so effing depleted and hungry. I hate today.

8am... My spin class is so awesome. They really made me feel better and I left spin feeling equally depleted but in a better mood than when I got there.

12:30... home from posing practice. I wore the new pink suit instead of the blue one and it looks better (especially with the boob padding that I rigged into it). I will wear the pink for prejudging. The pictures look good. I am happy with the result of all this torture and I'm ready for Saturday.... I'm off for my wax, wish me luck! :-)

2:20...whew! Sure glad that is over. I have to say that it wasn't as painful as the first time I had it done but that rip is still a bitch. Thank goodness it's fast! So... I'm all clean and ready to sport that bikini! Well... I still have to wax my own legs and arms, but that is no huge deal no drama there. And Mike will have to shave my back tonight. That will be interesting.

At massage tonight I got a 2 hour massage.. the only thing that would have made it better would be to add Julie's home made rolls with a buffet of jellies, cheese, and various other toppings. Throw in some streets paved with gold and I am in heaven!

Recap~~ Workouts...check! Last posing practice...check! Pad the bra...check! Burn 3 copies of my routine song... check! Wax... check! Low carb week....almost check~~ 9 hour count down to carbs!!!

I want to give a shout out to Kate. She has been the best friend ever during this whole thing. She has worked out with me and pushed me, she has helped and encouraged me with the diet, she has brought me little gifts, she calls me frequently with encouraging words and has even offered to drive me around this week to keep me safe from hurting myself in my low carb mental status! She truly has been an understanding and solid shoulder to lean on. If you are every considering doing a body building competition, you need a trainer like Lisa, a husband like Mike and a great friend like Kate!

Where am I? and why do I have a pillow taped to my head?

2010-04-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

What day is it today? and why is the front of my shirt wet?

Supposedly I taught a couple classes today (from the floor mostly). Kate taught kickboxing for me... thanks again, Kate > for the millionth time! Other than that, I pretty much sat at my desk in some kind of comatose state, obsessively checking facebook for entertainment. (not that entertaining) ... I was mildly entertained by the fact that I have continually spilled water down the front of my shirt all day. So I am officially retarded and should have a helmet on.. or a pillow taped around my head for protection. People that do the Atkins diet on their own accord are just fucking stupid, have no desire to exercise or be productive in any way.

Tomorrow should be interesting... I have one word for tomorrow's blog in advance.... "rrrrriiiippp". You do the math....

That's all I have to say.

No work, only play....

2010-04-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

1am ~ I wake with a brilliant idea for my Thesis "101 Reasons Why the Body Needs Carbs"... Just kidding, I woke up to pee but I couldn't get back to sleep because I was too effing hungry. I felt nauseous and my muscles felt all funny like they wanted to stretch but didn't have the energy. I kept trying to find new positions to alleviate the problem but the more I tossed, the more my britches got twisted, as all my clothes are now 3 sizes too big for me. So then I had to wiggle around trying to untwist my jammies.... Of course I had all kinds of great blog lines in my head, but they are all gone now with all the rest of my thoughts....but trust me when I tell you that they were all very clever! I fell back asleep around 4 and felt hung over (again) when my alarm went off at 6.

I was still nauseous and my legs were noodles. I drank a ready to drink shake on my way to class, bumped my head on Mike's car door (he has a little car that I'm not so used to riding in... it could have happened anytime...really!) Then I tripped on my own feet (again) walking across the parking lot. I'd like to say there was an invisible curb there, but most adults don't believe in invisibility powers like me and Hunter do. Spin class was lame at best but I did what I could with my assigned cardio. My class is so sweet, they cheered me by talking about bringing me donuts on Tuesday morning. I told them that maple frosted ones are my favorite but anything glazed would do. I know it's just the delusions talking... or is it?

So although my mood was good, I shuffle my weak body back to my van and carefully and fearfully drove home. After my breakfast and sending the kids to school I drove to the community center for my upper body circuit and backed into the curb. It could have happened on any given day... I apparently was not in the vehicle at the time...no damage done to the van or the curb. Hence the fear of driving! Yesterday, Lisa commented "don't hurt yourself" and I giggled a little at that.

So posing practice is done and I'm home for the day until massage class tonight (which is going to suck rocks!). Since is windy and cloudy I'm going to spent the rest of the afternoon scrapbooking.... Because...

"No work, only play

Keeps me from thinking about food all day!!!"

Awesome sauce??

2010-04-26T07:17:00.001-07:00

6:45am... have to pee... get up too fast and almost fall down. Thankful that my bathroom is only 2 steps from my bed cuz I could hold onto my night stand and then the wall, I literally plopped down onto the toilet. Whew! What a workout! ... Going back to bed

7:15am... do I smell dog fart? thanks for that, Dutchess! Stretch.... CRAMP<> CRAMP IN MY FOOT!!!!! Breath... breath... Get up, pee again, and notice that I have a red divot on the inside of each of my knees where they were pressed together, not moving for the last 30 minutes. My official weight is 121.0 .... I shrank 1.5 pounds yesterday.

I tripped on my own feet twice this morning while in process of making breakfast and rammed my knee into my desk when I scooted in to reach the keyboard. Maybe I'm still half asleep?.. speaking of which, I dreamed that I ate a cheezit off of some little kid's high-chair tray while waiting for my upcoming waxing appointment. Then when I went into the room it had 4 beds in it and a hot tub filled with people (a couple neighbors) and I was like... "Are you kidding me right now?... no WAY I'm have this 'procedure' done with all these people in here!!"

So after breakfast and pre workout snack, I felt pretty good for my workout and errands and when I got home I spent about 3 hours in the sun catching up on magazine reading. It was awesome! I even found a completely private spot and braved a thong tan. Lisa inspired that one! If she can do it so can I! But Mike came home early and scared the livin' daylights out of me! It would be pretty embarrassing to get caught in a thong by the neighbor, or mailman or the kids...whatever... But you know the next sunny day I'll be doing it again! So don't come peekin' over my fence.... sick-o's!

I felt pretty good today with 1500 calories until about 4:30 when I was just sitting down to eat dinner (Meal #4) and suddenly, I could just lay down and crash! Not good! I usually perk up at meal time regardless of how I'm feeling. So I took a 5 hour energy and headed to class. I was shaky by the time class started. I don't really like the way 5 hours make me feel (I've only had a couple since I've started training) so I only take them in desperate situations. I had a good class and sported a sports bra to spin for the first time. It was cool to see the class trying discretely not to stare. Hehehehe... It's more a body confidence thing, than an "I have awesome abs and want to show them off" thing. But I got plenty of "you look really great"s after class.... Thank you everyone! I wish my legs/glutes looked as good.

BUT.... In my carb depleted stupor, I locked my keys in my car! I called Mike to bring the spare key on his way to BJJ but he FORGOT! So ... "Mikey... you have some 'splaning to do!"... (But I still love you and forgive you... ) I got a ride home from a student :-)

When I got home I got the best snack EVER!! Rice cake with BNPB AND strawberry jelly(sugar free, fiber added)! O!M!G! Seriously!... A little bit of heaven!

ps.... Kaelyn wants me to tell Lisa that when she was born, the Dr. dipped her in awesome sauce and that's why she is so muchie..

((In case you are a movie retard... In Alice and Wonderland, when the Mad Hatter sees Alice for the first time he says, "You used to be much....muchier" It's my favorite line! And Lisa is the MUCHIEST! )) Jason.... I apologize for the side affects of all the "Lisa worshipping"... You will have to find your own way to deflate her 'muchie' growing ego due to all my goddess talk!

Day 1 of last week ... 1050 calories

2010-04-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

Today started out with me waking up at 6:30. Unfortunately, this early rising thing has been happening to me quite frequently, and as I have never been a morning person, I have to wonder.. am I getting old or just hungry? Plus I had to pee... again... So after 15 minutes of trying to go back to sleep, I got up. But it was WAY too early to eat (even tho I was hungry), so I put in another load of laundry (which I didn't finish yesterday), and when I realized that Hunter was up, I cleaned his room, refolded all his clothes and went thru his closet and toys for yard sale stuff. Then.. laundry load #2. It's getting to be almost 9am and I can't wait to eat any longer. Mmmm... breakfast is the BOMB!! My carbs for the day, steel cut oats and muscle milk. I chose cookie dough flavor because I dreamed about cookies... again. Aaahhhh,... sweet delicious cookies with your heavenly carbs and sugar..... *sigh....

Anyhoo... after breakfast, I'm feeling normal so I fold another load of laundry with 2 more in line, call a local photographer to schedule a photo shoot on Friday morning, and then I go out to run errands. I stopped at GNC cuz Kate said there was some stuff on clearance that I eat, but it was picked over. Then to Target (to pee) and for chocolate chip pure protein bars and of course I HAD to buy a new pair of black workout pants for my photo shoot. You know... I HAD to! And my obsession with baskets reared it's ugly head and one just jumped right into my cart! I didn't want to waste any precious energy putting it back so it came home with me. Then to the commissary but first a quick peek in the PX (to pee again) and to see if they had any 7 slims jeans for Hunter... (they didn't). Home with the groceries, eat meal #2 and head to Lisa's for posing practice. More like "Keep the Ego in Check, Round 2" session... Mossy, you are amazing! Seriously!... She has to be 100 pounds with rocks in her pockets and she is huge! But I tweak my form every time I see myself on camera/pictures so it's good for me.

I still feel pretty good when I get home, and it's a beautiful day so after folding the last of the laundry, I can justify that I have done enough to call myself a productive and effective mother and wife, and I crawl up on the trampoline for the next 3 hours. Aaahhhh... the life! And I even used sunscreen at my son's concerned request. Bless his heart... he loves his mama!

But now... finally... the day is catching up and it's about all I can do to hold my hands up to the keyboard. I have 24 more ounces of water to drink to reach my 1.5 gallon goal. That's a lot of water, I tell ya! I'm just going to chug the last bottle and be done with it. I already have a 6 pound water baby anyway.

By the way.. this is what 2 oz of chicken looks like.... It's not a meal... it's not even a snack... it's just a tease! But of course it's not a carb so who really cares? BTW... after 5 minutes of cooking said chicken, I realized that I had the wrong burner on! DUH!...

You know you are carb depleted when....

2010-04-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

You know you are carb depleted when....

*you realize after 5 minutes of cooking your chicken that you have turned on the wrong burner

*You find yourself gazing into space thinking of nothing for who knows how long?

*You are afraid to drive

*You have to pee every 15 minutes because of all the extra water you have to drink

*A rice cake is the highlight of your week

*You keep tripping on your own feet

*lock your keys in your car

*continually spill water down the front of your shirt

*you cry about the dumbest stuff

*you are so low energy that you don't even want to eat..(at least not if it's chicken)

No internet for a week.... but finally an update!

2010-04-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to blog all week but I have not had a good internet connection so I'm sorry about that. I've had a good week this week. I've had some great work outs and not so great workouts but I have not cheated on the diet at all. It feels good to my well being to be able to be strong although I have to admit that I am still tempted! It is only because of the closeness of the competition that is keeping me "sinless". Well, whatever works, right?

I got my diet for the last week. I get 1050 calories tomorrow but 1500 and 1300 on Mon/Tuesday and I know I can handle those numbers and still function normally. Then Wed, Thurs are back down to 1050. The extra low carb thing is a little scary but I can do anything for 5 days, and at least I have Lisa, Jason and Eileen to share my misery. :-)

Today I went to Lisa's to practice posing with Lisa and Eileen. All of us posed together while Jason video taped. I was pretty apprehensive to stand in comparison with them. They are both so awesome! Skinny butts and wide backs, big 'ol biceps! I'm eternally jealous! But I have to keep in mind that I've been training only 3.5 months and had LOTS more weight to lose! Amazingly enough I was not too disappointed in the size of my ass in comparison if only I was wider on the top now... Of course as women, we are never happy with what we have, right? It all will depend on who my competition is. I have little bouts of nervousness but right now I'm just trying to survive the diet! I have a couple of new foods I get to try this week and 2 new flavors to Muscle Milk to try. Looking forward to the blueberry especially! I really miss fruit.

On Monday this week I weighed in at 124.0, since Wednesday I've weighed in at 122.4. Often by Monday I've put back on .5 pound or so. We'll see what happens.

Today while I layed out on the trampoline I made a menu for the 2 weeks after the show. My parents will be here on Friday for the weekend. After the show... major gorge... then on Sunday, we are staying in San Francisco to tour Alcatraz, so of course we will have to eat out breakfast and lunch, and then for dinner I am making Mexican Fiesta Pizza. Reduced fat crescent rolls for crust with taco seasoned turkey burger veggies and low fat sour cream. I think it's a pretty good choice as far as low fat dinners go. Then I decided that since I was on the trampoline, all happy and warm in the sun, that I would plan my menu for the 2 weeks after the show. I'm going to cook on Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday nights for those 2 weeks... trust me, the menu looks DELICIOUS!! I will eat small and controlled portions with my family on those nights and other than that I will continue the diet. Here is a concern.... A friend and loyal spin class member wants to do a "restricted dessert" party for me after spin class on Wednesday night the 5th, and my neighbors want to throw me a party/BBQ the weekend after the show. With such a smorgasbord of delicious restricted food at my disposal, I don't know if I will be able to 'nibble' just a bit. I will have to try.

Well, I know this is not a witty and entertaining blog. ... Just the facts, ma'am. So the least I could do is add a picture. This was taken after Friday's leg workout. It was FREEZING!! ... hence the hugging... but we would have done that anyway. :-) I have the best training in the world! Thanks Lisa for all you do!

Almost to single digit count down!!

2010-04-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Tuesday night and I'm hungry. I am always excited about Wednesday's hi calorie! I've also discovered sugar free mints! My new best friends to mix in the the gum habit. But the mints give me a little crunch like candy and makes me feel like I'm having a little cheat.. but I'm not! But then I have to have gum so I don't eat a whole box of mints at once.

Time is flying by and I'm getting crazy excited to complete this journey. Mostly for food related reasons.... well... if I can be real... It's ALL for food related reasons! But just think with me.... Tomorrow is high calorie, the week goes down from there so by the time I get to the tough days I'll be looking down the barrel of 7 days to go. That also means 4 days of carb depletion and that really scares me a lot, if I can be honest. But I think I can manage it for 3 days and the afternoon of the 4th I get to start back on the carbs. Something VERY exciting to look forward too!

PLUS! ... Lisa and I get to split a gallon of Moscato on pre competition night! Something about extreme drunkenness will make me less nervous?? Well, that's what I heard anyway. The bottle is chillin'! (ok... so I only get one glass, but I can dream, right?)

You ready?... You ready?.... LET'S GET IT ON!!!

2010-04-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

**sigh** where did the weekend go? I meant to blog earlier but just .... didn't.

Friday's "movies in review" blog was all about Lisa...why? Because I had too much time to think about stupid stuff like that while she had me doing 560 walking lunges with a 10 pound vest on. I knew what was coming and I was not afraid. I do lunges all the time and often in high rep numbers (although never THAT many)! The vest was a surprise though. My legs definitely got tired and wobbly by the end of the work out, and I was sure that I would be super sore... which... I was going to blog about this weekend. Well, I didn't really get that sore (even tho Lisa tried to poke my quads on Saturday to make me cry.... meanie! :-) So I wasn't very motivated to blog.

On Saturday I had my first fight with Mike that was body building related. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't air dirty laundry and Mike and I rarely fight. We have a very respecting and loving relationship and always try to treat each other like the best friends that we are. Basically, Mike snuck some jelly beans, I commented on the cheat, he reminded me that I ate 1/3 of a slice of apple pie just recently, and I got mad. It was a fair thing for him to say. Just because he is not doing the competition, doesn't mean that he is not trying to stick to the diet. Anyway, a 24 hour silent treatment ensued. After our lines of communication opened back up, Mike told me that I really didn't talk much about how I have been feeling daily, so he had no idea how that comment (meant to be a joke) was going to hurt my feelings. And I told him that I didn't want to be whiny and complaining all the time about being hungry, depleted and lethargic. (...."Second verse, same as the first!".... cuz this is the story of my life for the last month at least and will continue for the next 12 days... yes 12 days ~not that I'm counting) And any food related joke will not be funny to me. Anyway, hugs/kisses, everything is better and now I have license to complain... (if I can find the energy to open my mouth...unless it's to eat, then it's no problem)

So 24 hours of my weekend was ruined by a high tensioned household. Not really in the mood to blog when I'm mad (unless it's training related...then it makes for GREAT blogging!) And of course I took advantage of as much sun as possible taking way from blogging time and I went to my daughters musical and had 2 social events on Sunday. I have to say that one of said events had an awesome spread of food. Finger sandwiches on croissants, plates and plates of fresh fruit, little cinnamon rolls, cheezits, M&Ms, and various cookies...and wine. Excuse me.... **tear** sniffle** tear**... sigh.... Even though I dreamed, and smelled and imagined how everything must taste, I did NOT eat a single thing! I even brought a variety of sandwiches and fruit home and 3 cookies for the kids... alone in the car... by myself... no one looking... with said food, and didn't touch anything! I was exceedingly proud of myself! I think I would have caved if it wasn't getting so close to competition time. Thoughts like, "Really, how much damage will this little sandwich do?" "The sugar from this fruit will probably just run right thru me" "I can always exercise a little tonight to burn it off"... "Shut up, stupid brain, before I stab you with a tooth pick!!".... and there you have it... DONE!

So how am I feeling? Hungry! Mondays and Tuesdays suck rocks. I used to dread Wednesdays because of my 3 classes to teach, but now it's my favorite day! Here are some facts about my life.... (workouts and calories)

M-lift upper body, HIIT, teach spin, 1257

T-Teach spin, lift lowerbody, posing practice, 1272

W- teach muscle class, kickboxing and spin, 1722

TH-teach spin, lift upper body, HIIT, posing practice, 1377

F-lift legs, 1541

S and S..rest, 1361 and 1282

I'm starting to have a list of things to do that is about 5 feet long (blogging I can soon cross off). I'm glad that today is overcast so I can get some work done and not be tempted to lay out. Although I have to say that the sun makes me warm and happy and I can pass a lot of time without temptation, hunger, anxiety, stress, (whatever) when I'm out on the trampoline with a book, or a nap. I know inside, that as a mom and wife, I should be doing other stuff, but I also know that my husband and family would agree "better a happy mom than a busy and mentally unstable crazy person" at this stage in the game.... they can handle it for 12 more days as long as I can keep from crying, yelling or falling into a catatonic state.

Zombies, Mommies and Baby Flab...

2010-04-16T14:30:00.001-07:00

Did you hear about the new movie coming out? It's called "My Trainer Must Be Crazy" Starring Lisa Brightman as the crazy trainer that is pursuing a career move to FL from CA but before she leaves she is determined to bring her final client to certain crippledness in an effort to have her ready for her first body building competition in only 3 months of training. Co-starring Rachelle Sian, new comer to the scene, dowdy mother of 3 who struggles with her sweet cheats and busy schedule. Will she survive the brutal workouts and verbal abuse of the relentless trainer? You'll have to watch and see! Sian is also working on her second movie, "Rachelle of the Dead" where she battles zombies that are after Brightman for putting them in their early graves.

You may have also seen Brightman in her award winning performances in "27 Workouts", where Brightman plays a lonely trainer that has 27 clients who all want to lose weight after having their first babies. This hilarious comedy shows our hero coming to terms with her own 'lack of' mothering skills as she comes into frequent contact with her clients' children while bringing mommies back to their previous physical glory. You don't want to miss the unexpected ending in this (literally) gut busting comedy.

The less known 80s budget film that introduced Brightman to the acting scene was the female version of "Best of the Best". Co-starring with Julia Roberts' brother... what's his name again?, this vein popping hero trains Brightman to fight in the ultimate vengeance fight. She also played a small role in the Broadway hit "Hair".

More currently, our talented A-lister sweetheart has recently tried her hand at directing such flicks as "Cats and Dogs" Starring lovers Flexie and Dutchess who have to combat the evil cat Cozmo. And the upcoming horror film "Quadzilla" Starring herself as the maniac quadzilla monster who battles the entire country of Fattamia and her arch nemesis Baby Flab.

This multi-talented real life trainer is not afraid to take on any project. She will be one to watch. It has been written in more established tabloids such as "Buns and Thighs" that our girl has been spotted practicing walking in 3 inch clear healed stilettos in an effort to not fall flat on her next walk on the red carpet at her opening night of "Revenge of Rambina".

"Cookie dough... you ain't nuthin!"

2010-04-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

A few big successes today.

#1. I did my first empty stomach spin class this morning. It felt fine. I really hardly noticed the lack of calories, although I got a little burned out at the end but that could be because by Thursday my legs are pretty toasted anyway. I'll tell you what though... by the end of class I was HHUUUUNGRY!! I ate breakfast, sent Hunter off to school, was at the gym at 8 for my lift and HIIT on the treadmill. Have I told you lately that I hate running? yeah...

#2. I successfully transfered cookie dough from a "too big" container to a "just right" baggie to put in the freezer, WITHOUT even a LICK of the spoon! IT CAN BE DONE!!! On top of that... I haven't as much as licked a BNPB spoon either! Yep... today... I'm the BOMB!!!

BRING IT ON!!

Sometimes you feel like a nut....

2010-04-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today that sometimes I'm strong and sometimes I'm not... which brought me to that old Almond Joy commercial "Sometimes you feel like a nut... sometimes you don't... Almond Joys got nuts, Mounds don't..because... sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!"

(Good luck getting that tune out of your head for the rest of the day!)

I have long determined that I would make a horrible criminal! I would commit my crime and run straight to the police station to confess. I'm also a bad liar, so why even bother. It's one thing that keeps my on the straight and narrow in life. So today I had my first "sweet cheat" since January. I was being an idiot! Not hungry, feeling great, not at all tempted. So I decided to clean out the fridge a little bit to determine what I needed to be thinking about for near future dinners. Hmmm... the last piece of apple pie from Easter weekend. "I should put this in the freezer. ... I wonder if it's even still good?" Off comes the cover, sniff... smells good. Maybe just a TEENY taste before I put it in the freezer "I don't want to freeze sour pie!". Three bites later, I somehow willed myself to throw the rest of the damn thing in the garbage. I could have EASILY eaten the whole piece and probably justified it somehow. Ugh! It was so good... ridiculous! I haven't craved sweets too much since the diet but,... dang.... Well, moving on with life...

That tasty sin occurred mid afternoon-ish, (before my last spin class of the day) sooooo... I kicked my own butt in class as punishment and hoped that I would burn enough extra calories with my super hard push to not have to suffer the consequences. It's awfully close to competition to be cheating at this point. And in general, that thought alone is enough to deter the cheats (unless it's BNPB... that happens)

With that exception, I felt GREAT today! High energy, great classes (all 3 were awesome) Lots of sweat and fun was had by all. (well, me anyway... I did hear some grunting and moaning throughout all 3 classes but that just means it's good)

Today was SICK!...

2010-04-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

1am - 5am ~~ I wake up to pee and can't go back to sleep. I'm starving! My throat feels like sand paper! I feel like a rotisserie chicken rolling and rolling then I get to thinking... mmmm... warm chicken sandwich with a glass of cold milk would put me right to sleep. I almost got up to write in my blog (I had a couple of paragraphs written in my head but there were a lot of swear words in it at that time) But I knew that if I came downstairs I would eat... so I stayed in bed.

5:55 alarm goes off for spin class. I had fallen asleep finally so now I feel drugged. When I got up I could hardly hold myself up I was completely depleted. Sorry... there is NO WAY I'm doing the empty stomach workout today. So I ate my protein bar and trudged off to class

7:15 I lived thru spin and had a pretty good workout. Got home and had 1/2 of my breakfast, got Hunter to school, left to train my client, went to the commissary, took the dog to Petco for a nail clip, came home, put the groceries away, killed some ants

9:45 on my way to Lisa's for posing practice. All goes well... a little tweak to the rear biceps and rear lat spread that will help my butt to look smaller. Pictures again on Thursday. I wouldn't let Lisa take pics today cuz I was makeup-less and on 3 hours of sleep. I'm starving!

11:15 on the way home to EAT! I check my phone, message from another NPS instructor wants me to sub for her spin class at noon. Ummm... why not?

11:30 eat the other half of my breakfast (more like scarf the other half of my breakfast) call Lisa to tell her I'm crazy and beg her for more calories. Duh... of course. YEAH! After a rice cake with BNPB and 1/2 of a Detour bar (about 250 calories) I am pumped back up and ready to spin

12 - 1 Spin class

1:15 home eat the other half of my detour bar, quick shower, lay out on the trampoline for awhile and try to nap... no luck with the nap. But the warm sun and closed eye rejuvenates me and makes me happy.

3:30 clothes changed, snack made - actually 2 snacks at one time..SWEET (tuna on a sandwich thin and 1/2 MetRex pack) and dinner prepared in advance

4:10 off to Muscle Power Flex class for my last work out... lower body. Ugh! My poor legs! But I feel great with my surge of calories. It wasn't my hardest class but good none the less.

5:30 out the door on the way home to eat. Mike cooked up my food for me so I could bring it with me to massage class

5:45 with food in hand, drive to class

6:15 Massage teacher not feeling well, and dismisses class early! THANK YOU JESUS!!

7pm... blogging... going to sit on my butt for a couple of straight hours and then going to bed early!!!!

85 in, 600 out? How's that workin' out for ya?

2010-04-12T20:43:00.001-07:00

I know it's weird to write twice in one day, but I wanted to post something. As you know, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday are low cal days and it's pretty tough to get moving by the afternoon. Today I had eaten my 3rd of 5 snacks, (a protein bar) after my workout at about 1:00. I knew I'd have to wait until about 4:45 to eat my next snack to get me through 5:30 spin class. My 4th snack is 1 rice cake with 1 T. of BNPB (85 whole calories). Although I look forward to anything peanut butter, I knew that 1 cake is never enough. But somehow, it usually gets me through class. So I ate my rice cake and as an added precaution I had a 5 hour energy shot. At 5:00 I thought, there is no way that I'm going to have the energy to work hard in class. I could hardly lift my arms up to drink the shot!

I'm driving to class and I can literally feel the calories and/or 5 hour energy kicking in and by the time I get to class (about 5 minutes...not kidding) I am practically skipping into the building. And I have to say, class was BRUTAL! Even by my standards... it was a tough class. Fast paced throughout with only one hill climb. I was kicking ass and taking names baby! At 6:00 almost exactly, I started to feel the energy leave my body about as fast as it came while I was driving to class. Oh Oh! I was fading FAST! The last song I had them do hovers from all 3 positions (glutes back, center, glutes forward) moving directly from one the next without coming up. My legs were literally shaking and so were my arms. It was complete mental will to keep going. I was almost in tears and felt the early signs of hyperventilation. But I knew I could push for 2 more minutes, knowing it was the last song. I had to be very careful getting off the bike so that my legs wouldn't buckle and hung onto the bike all through stretches. From class I had to pick up Hunter from BJJ class and then to pick up Kaelyn from play practice so I didn't get to eat until 7:30. I was nauseous by the time I got to my plate and scarfed it down like an Ethiopian!

Lesson: Don't trust your 85 calorie snack to get you all the way through a 600+ calorie workout!

So tomorrow I get to try my first "empty stomach" workout for 6am spin. Giggle** yeah... we'll see how that goes! I've NEVER done spin without at least my 120-180 calorie protein bar.

WISH ME LUCK!

Just what I needed!

2010-04-12T14:12:00.001-07:00

Today, out of the blue, my awesome friend Kate drops by my house with a present. Four little boxes wrapped in athletic ad paper (carefully chosen so there were no food ads) with a little note in each. Four awesome packs of gum! And can you even believe that I did not have any of those 4 flavors? I literally have 10 packs of gum in my desk drawer, 2 in my purse and 2 in my bedroom and Kate brought me 4 flavors that I don't have! AmAzInG!! My friend Kate is that person that knows just when to pick me up, encourage me, send me a little message, or bring me some food (prior to the diet of course!) and I adore her to pieces! With friends like Kate, a husband like Mike and a trainer like Lisa... how can I not kick some ass at my very first competition!? Seriously!... you guys are the muchiest people in the world!

I LOVE YOU!

MIke is smokin' crack...

2010-04-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today Mike informed me that he is going to do my diet with me for the next 3 weeks to show his support and help me combat my nightly cravings. I think he should share whatever he has been smoking. Here is the good thing for me..... If Mike eats meat and veg every night for dinner,then I don't have to cook delicious meals for the family. Tianna will be gone all of next week at science camp, Kaelyn has musical rehearsal until 7 for the rest of the month, so I only have to feed Hunter this week. Tianna can throw in pizza and my kids love to have cereal for dinner! SCORE! Of course Mike will not have to feel the difficulty of the 5 o'clock temptation... but this isn't about him, it's about me... so the bottom line is... I don't have to cook (essentially) for the next 3 weeks! Mike can cook on the weekends and that will feed the family all week! And if Mike snitches... well... who really cares? He doesn't have to put on a speedo and parade around under a spot light! This will make my life so much easier!! I already have less stress because of the very thought! THANKS HONEY! I LOVE YOU!!

3 weeks out pic of the back

2010-04-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a picture of my back at my last posing session Tuesday as encouragement to myself to stay focused. My family and a couple of friends are watching the UFC fight on PPV tonight and one of my friends brought baked cheetos. ... My all time favorite crunchy snack. So here I sit trying to keep my mind focused. 21 days to the competition and I have to keep from snitching. If I was to snitch even one cheeto I know it would be like a fat kid with twinkies under her pillow at fat camp up in here. I'll work on finishing up bedazzling my posing suit. I just heard from the competition coordinator that ALL competitors will perform their routines at the night show. So all is not lost with the suit.

Bedazzle me!!!

2010-04-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. I LOVE Wednesdays cuz I get the most calories. I felt normal all day, not hungry or low energy and I worked hard in all my classes. I still took a nap though! I've taken a nap every day this week. I'm just glad that I CAN take a nap when I need one especially since Mike and Hunter had both been sick for over a week.

Did I tell you that I got my competition suit in? It's red and pretty and I started to glue embellishments on it so it sparkles like Malibu Barbie on Prom night. But then I realized that right there on the natural body building website that the pre-judging suit must be a solid color with no embellishments! Damn! If I don't make the top 5 to get into the night show, I'll have bought a $160 suit plus $25 of crystals for no reason at all. It's not like I can walk the beach with that thing on! Geez!... can you imagine? Only if I was Pamela Anderson before the gigantic boob job....then maybe I'd strut the beach in a crystal embedded tiny two piece. Anyway, I'm glad that I have my practice suit to wear even though it is not shiny. It will do, and I'm used to being in it.

So for any of you who might be inspired to do a competition, (hehehe... well you never know!) Check the rules thoroughly before essentially ruining an expensive "one time wear" posing suit. But on the off chance that I make it to the night show, just look out your window to the North at about 8pm and you may see my sparkles all the way from Oakland! Yippy!

Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever!

2010-04-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I think that today definitely made up for yesterday. The last 4 weeks is going to be no kidding around. Today I already felt the wrath of the "4 weeks out" diet. I felt totally depleted all afternoon. I ate meal 1 at about 7:30, pre workout snack at 9:30 the post workout snack at about 12:30 which was a protein bar. That 180 calories had to carry my until 4:45 to fuel for my spin class... 1 rice cake with BNPB and 45 calories worth of protein drink mix. I felt like I could hardly move all day. Everything seemed to take max effort. And walking into spin class was like the Green Mile. Amazingly, (as what usually happens), my BNPB calories kicked in about 10 minutes into class and I made it thru with surprising energy. In the end it was a pretty sweaty class although it was a challenge and I had to tension back on one song where we did a fast standing climb but otherwise I was able to push myself pretty well. "Push up" turd came to class tonight and tried to talk to me but I pretended that I didn't hear him ( I didn't actually hear him but I know he said something to me because there was no one else around him) I swear if he would have said a single 'peep' during push ups that I would have claimed the "carb depleted mad woman" card and kicked his ass in front of everyone! But he was smart and kept his mouth shut. I have to admit that I was pretty wobbly walking to my car after class though and was as desperate as one can be to get home and eat.

Dinner was AWESOME. Stir fried shrimp and chicken with mixed peppers and some asparagus. Mmmmm.... mmmmm... good! But already I am thinking about breakfast.

BTW... I was 126.6 on the scale this morning. The same weight as I've been all week, which is .2 pounds lost from last week. My sins from yesterday might still show up on the scale midweek but I'm trying to combat the sodium with extra water. I've had to pee about a million times today! Actually... speaking of ....

I don't want to talk about it...

2010-04-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

I do not want to write this blog. But I told myself that I would be honest in my blog as a way to help to keep me accountable. So far it's worked out pretty well. I don't want to tell you that I've skipped a workout, or cheated on my diet, or played hooky to watch HDTV... so I haven't done those things. Unfortunately, today was not such a good day. Happy Easter by the way.... It started out great! Full of the grace of God, doing the Easter Bunny thing, taking pictures, getting ready for church, starting lunch/dinner prep. Let me just throw down the menu for you. Appetizer for Mike... his favorite cheese ball. (Cream cheese, green onion, chopped dried beef, accent and Worcestershire... yummy! Mike and I could eat this up together, easy!) Of course, deviled eggs, potato salad (my mom's awesome home made recipe, not the store bought stuff... mine had bacon in it... need I say more?) Pineapple ham and last but not least, home made buns. These I made for the very first time today. So why would a bread addict decide to make home made buns 4 weeks out from competition? I don't know! I'm crazy! I thought I could be strong! We had company and I wanted to impress! I didn't think they would turn out!... I mean come on!... you know how your grandparents used to cook. A dash of this, some of that, "beat the hell out of it".."kneed it til it farts"... enough flour until it feels right... so honestly, my hopes were really not that high for a first try.

I got the dough rising before we left for church and all was going well. After the veggies were chopped for the potato salad (onion, celery, radish) I set some aside to make my own separate salad. I put about 5 little chunks of potatoes, my 5 egg whites, added a little mustard, low fat mayo and a little relish for taste. (I don't put relish in my potato salad otherwise). Sounds harmless right? Then I used my la

st 2 whole eggs and made myself 4 deviled eggs with a little low fat mayo, mustard and relish (I got 5 egg whites and 2 whole eggs for snack on today's diet menu) Still not too bad. Probably about 1/2 of a tablespoon more mayo than was on my diet menu. The potato salad is another one of those old family recipes that you "make to taste" and I've only made it a couple of times, so of course I had to taste... this was where the snowball started. The Accent, Lawery's, the REAL Miracle Whip.... Lord have mercy it was like a party in my mouth. Two big bites, put it in the fridge, have a piece of gum. A similar situation with the deviled eggs but less of a 'big bite" and more of a "little lick".... more gum. The Cheeseball was ridiculous... 2 ritz crackers with dip..to taste, of course. Damn good.... more gum.

By this time the buns are the only thing left. So far they looked right, here's to hoping! When they came out of the oven it wa

s like my mom had snuck in and made them herself. They smelled so good, I had to take a bite to make sure I wasn't dreaming! Mmmmm... yep! Just like mom used to make. Can't let the family see that I took a bite, so I ate the whole thing. (It was small) Ok... one more... more gum. Company shows up, time to eat. All is ok, I have my 2 deviled eggs, my (not nearly as yummy but still on my plate) potato salad, some turkey and shrimp. And it's before 7pm! Whew! At least I have that going for me.

The family is eating and enjoying. I mostly am noticing the buns. I'm dreaming about the buns. My mouth is watering for the buns. I have to have a bun. I premeditated on my bun cheat. "I'll wait until I can take a couple of plates into the kitchen and I'll sneak one while I 'clean up'." Two buns, 2 cheese crackers and one big bite of salad off my son's plate, later and I was nearly in tears, going up stairs to brush my teeth and attempt to get the yummy, salty, bacon-y, bun-tastic taste out of mouth so I could make the whole thing stop! I stayed out of the kitchen after that. I put the remaining buns in the freezer and what didn't fit in the bag, I sent home with Billy, along with the rest of the cheeseball.

I really don't want to get on the scale tomorrow. I feel ridiculous. I'm not strong at all. Even if I could start the day over, I know I would still cheat. I probably wouldn't have baked the buns, if I could redo the day, but I'd still have cheated. It's not even the chocolate or apple pie that I want. It's the salt, the bread, the bacon.... and a glass of wine.

So I don't want to talk about today. This is my one and only confession. I'm not going to bring it up to Lisa, I'm just going to work extra hard in the gym this week. She will read my confession anyway, and I know what she would say so, Lisa, you don't have to say it. I don't think this is funny and I'm not laughing about it. If it weren't for company I probably would have gotten my bike out and rode hard for an hour. But now I'm going to go to bed dreading the scale tomorrow. Maybe I'll forget to weigh myself and just do it on Wednesday.

Ugh... today sucked. I hate dieting on holidays!

I don't need anger management, I just need you to stop pissing me off!

2010-04-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

I didn't get a chance to write my blog yesterday but I had some stories to tell you. First, in my spin class I worked hard and after class did 20 pushups. ((This week I started 'assigning' 20 pushups after every spin class...I max out personally)) So I was doing my pushups and this dude, who comes sporadically (fat guy of course) starts barking at me like a drill sergeant to get my belly to the ground! I was all like... WTH are you talking about? My pushups are perfect form, 90 degree arm bend, flat shoulders and back, on my toes not knees. He keeps saying "belly to the ground", and I keep saying..."what are you talking about? my form is perfect!" He says... (get this)... "Those are girl pushups". I told him to shut up .. (with a smile of course) but I think my regulars felt my annoyance. Of course I asked him to show me what he considered "perfect form" but he couldn't because of his 'double wrist injury'. Surprise. I was pretty mad about that for a couple of hours after class but got over it after I vented and laughed about it to Mike and Lisa. The thing that made me mad was that he was trying to call me out in front of my class in a way that I didn't at all appreciate. I can take correction and criticism from appropriate sources but I do not like to be barked at like a drill sergeant. I am not in basic training.

Two hours later, I was at Lisa's for my first of 3 hours of workout. We laughed about "drill sergeant douche bag". After the workout, we both had our snack... her, a PB rice cake and I a shake. I had to put the shake in my water bottle. I added a little extra water and my bottle has a pretty big mouth (I've drank shakes from it before) but my shake was too thick to come out so I was holding it over my open mouth with nothing happening. Lisa thought this was pretty funny and I mentioned that it reminded me of when DQ blizzards first came out and they used to hand them over the counter to you upside down... remember that? My very first job was working at Dairy Queen when I was 15. Anyway, then Lisa threatened me not to talk about ice cream (she is also contest prep dieting and longs for hot fudge sundays like I long for ... well,... just about everything!) Perhaps you had to be there, but for whatever reason, we thought this whole conversation was hilarious and I "laughed my abs off" standing right there in her kitchen.

Next hour was posing and I already knew I would have "shake belly" (if you recall this happened a couple weeks ago when I drank my shake right before posing practice.) Toward the end I showed Lisa my "Do I look different from the side?" pose. Trust me when I say that I have some skill when it comes to sticking out my tummy. This may have really frightened her, because now it was her turn to laugh her abs off! Too bad there isn't a "5 months pregnant" contest category cuz I would totally take first!! Suffice it to say it was a fun couple of hours and a good workout to boot. After that I decided to do my HIIT at NPS since Lisa had errands to run before picking up the gang at DLI. I had a great HIIT even on my own and was home at 12:30.

That night for dinner, I made shrimp linguine. Whole wheat pasta, shrimp, a can of diced tomatoes, garlic, oregano and a little red pepper and feta cheese. After checking all of the ingredients (including sodium) I thought that I might be able to sub out this meal for my last 2 meals on my diet menu. (minus the cheese of course) But just to be sure I texted Lisa with the ingredients and asked her opinion. This is how the conversation went...

Me: "Can I... " blah blah blah...

Lisa: One month out today...what do you think?

Lisa: ...No!!

Lisa:... Hell no!

Me: No fair!

Me: You're mean!

Lisa: I know

Lisa: Suck it!

Me: Hot fudge sunday

Me: How do you like me now?

Lisa: Double suck it!

Me: I'm pouting.

Lisa: Wasted energy, use it to practice your routine.

Me: Yes ma'am

Spoken like a true trainer! Loves to Lisa who can totally yell at me and have me begging for more and thanking her for it.... unlike douche bag, "belly down" push up guy who doesn't know s**t and just pissed me off. So Lisa, thanks for the laughs and the spanking yesterday! (How often can you hear those words in the same sentence!) I would be a fat mess without you, cheating and justifying on a daily basis and then wondering why I'm not losing any weight!

Anyway, a great day yesterday and I suspect another today. I woke up at 6:30 this morning from a weird food dream (a regular occurrence) and was too hungry to go back to sleep.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

2010-03-31T20:53:00.001-07:00

A Monterey girl there once was

Who went on a diet because,

They thought she was crazy

Low carbs made her lazy

And the baked ziti made her head buzz!

This girl took a two hour nap

Her energy level was tapped,

It made her feel rested

But that night she was tested

And ended up sleeping like crap!

So today was a very tough day

Three classes she taught for pay,

She felt like sleep walking

Why can't she stop talking?

Caffeine in a bottle, I say!

It works like a miracle drug

5 Hour Energy should be pushed by thugs,

No need to save face

She'll buy by the case

And before every class she will chug!

Anyone for apple pie?

2010-03-30T20:37:00.001-07:00

I had great workouts today! This morning I did a HIIT session on the bike in Spin class (same as last night....sweaty both times!) I had amazing energy for my morning class which is relatively unusual. I'm sure my class thought I was "on something". When I got home I had a sugar free pancake with MM and sugar free syrup. After about 20 minutes, I was still feeling light headed and a bit shaky. I know my body and this means low blood sugar. So I had half a bagel (minus a chunk that I ate on some previous day) with a little BNPB and a little pumpkin butter and within 10 minutes felt better. Lesson?... THIS BODY NEEDS SUGAR!! I've been saying it all along! :-)

Then posing with Lisa. Still improving but it's still amazing that my butt still looks so HUGE after losing 10 pounds! Today she video taped my routine and I was totally grossed out by the jiggling that was going on from the back view! Talk about motivation to stay strict to the diet! UGH! Seriously? I feel skinny and awesome and it's still not enough! I need some miracle cellulite cream! (I have some actually. I friend gave me some to try.... come on Arbonne! Don't let me down!) I'm pretty sure that I'll be bathing in it! But then the question will be... was it the cream? or the diet? "Is it real or is it Memorex" Remember that commercial? SHINY NICKEL!!

Then I subbed for MPF class so I took advantage of that and did my lower body workout in class and got paid! YEAH! Can you say..."Best job ever?" So in-between each set, we did abs and I think the class was dying! They were dropping off like flies... *evil laugh* I might even feel this ab workout tomorrow! So I walked out, a little wobbly legged, wondering if my family had the left over BBQ chicken sandwich stuff and apple pie put away before I would get home. Yes, apple pie! My neighbor brought one over as a "thank you" for watching their dog. More like "I hate you...here is some evil temptation!" But I'll forgive... And of course, only my loving husband had a piece cuz the kids don't really care for apple pie... so 'lucky for me' the pie will be in the fridge all week until Billy gets off his "no sugar Lent fast" and comes over and eats the rest next weekend. If anyone wants some yummy apple pie please come over and help yourself! But my family was awesome in having everything put away before I got home. Of course, Hunter wanted more... so I had to get it out, warm it up, smell it, have it under my nose, and watch him eat it.... ugh! Torture! "Just remember the video!".... to the Jell-o tune... "Watch it wiggle... Watch it jiggle"... Yeah, I got this!

Oh... and also.... 5 Hour Energy makes me crazy! I'm so going to pop some of that about 20 minutes before KB tomorrow! WOOHOO!! Bring it on!!!

The lesson for today?? Sodium....

2010-03-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

It's finally Sunday....aaahhhh.... resting the weary butt muscles! I've had a really great week this week. All of my workouts were strong and productive and I didn't cheat on my diet. I do have one thing to tell you and it is an important lesson. Last night, I consciously decided to swap out my last meal for what I made for dinner. After reading all the labels I cut myself a SMALL piece of barbeque chicken calzone. The pizza crust was about the same but 10 extra carbs than I would have normally eaten and the chicken was fine, there was no cheese on my little piece and the BBQ sauce had a about 4 grams more sugar than the A1 sauce that I would have put on my rice. Overall, I thought it was a pretty good swap for the extra joy it gave me to eat something different, albeit a very small portion. I felt no guilt over this at all. Later, I decided to update my recipe book because I have all sorts of internet print outs, and magazine pages, etc that are just stuffed into my book, so I was writing out the ones that I have made in the last couple of weeks (family enjoyed them all and said they were keepers). When I got to the BBQ chicken calzones, and was writing out the nutritional value (all very reasonable) EXCEPT ....can you guess what I missed in my substitution calculation? ..... I'm sure that Lisa and Jason already know and were shaking their heads at about the second sentence. That's right... sodium. Per serving about 765 mg! Even tho I had less than a serving, I was sitting there with my mouth hanging open, color drained from my face as if I had just eaten rat poisoning and had about 2 days to live. (OK... perhaps that is a slight exaggeration) But after my great week of no cheating and looking down the barrel of another 2 pounds of weight loss, I think I just screwed myself. That's what I get for trying to make "logical" substitutions. Not to worry Lisa, no more label reading. It's just the menu. And lo and behold, this morning I was exactly 1 pound heavier than I weighed yesterday morning. Stupid water retention. At this stage of the game, although, we still haven't talked about sodium restriction, IT'S A HUGE DEAL!!!

So endith the lesson....

In other news, I finished my routine, and 'performed' it in front of Jason and Mossy yesterday at Lisa's. It was totally nerve wracking! I was more nervous than I expected myself to be. I trust and respect "Team Brightman", consider them friends and know that they would not laugh behind my back or judge me negatively..... yet ... still nervous. I've always had some issues with performance anxiety (during my singing days in HS/college) but I thought that my experience of teaching aerobics would help that...I don't have to sing, after all! I got through it and, thanks to my darker tan, they may not have noticed my deep blushing. It was great experience to practice and front of others. So... Monterey friends, be prepared to be my practice audience!

Again, no dietary changes for me this week but changes in the workouts. I told Lisa that I can get away with staying off the bike for spin, and I have arranged with Marcelo (the other gym manager) to teach a beginner kickboxing segment for the next 4 weeks on Wednesdays. That will mean less jumping around for me, more teaching, partner drills, etc. So I have 2 HIIT sessions a week, 2 posing practices (1 hour each), 2 workouts with Lisa and 2 workouts on my own. Sounds fun right? Well I think so!

One week has passed after my first spray tan last weekend. The "fake" color is gone from my face but I think I'm hanging on to some color everywhere else still. But I have been enjoying the sun the last couple of days and probably picking up some color with that. I plan to hang out on my trampoline today again. Looks like it will be another beautiful day! Enjoy it friends!!

Nothing much....

2010-03-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

I've had a great week this week. Other than Wednesday when I was super tired, I've been up in mood and attitude. I've worked hard and I have not cheated on my diet. I've been trying not to eat after 6pm as that will be my rule next month. It's going ok. I long to snack but I'm not starving.... yet. :-)

Thanks to my workout partners, Kate, Madelyn and of course Lisa. I don't do very well working out by myself. It's easy for me to be unmotivated to push the heavy weight when I'm alone.

I think I have my 90 second routine worked out. I'll finally show it to Lisa tomorrow (I hope).

As of Wednesday morning I weighed 127 (that's 1.4 pounds less than Monday) I'm beginning to see my own weight loss. I'm excited to see what the scale officially says on Monday morning.

Sorry I don't have any funny stories for you. It's been a busy but boring week, I just wanted to say "Hi" :-)

STOP THE CHEATS!!!

2010-03-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today I worked out with Kate, chest and tri. I love working out with Kate. She said, "What do you want me to do?" And I said, "Just push me"..."OK". Off we go... 50 push ups to warm up, bench press bar plus 3 sets heavy, flat flys and incline bench negatives. Then tri pull downs with the rope, dips with 25 pounds, and finally tricep pushups. The first time I worked chest with Lisa she made me do 50 pushups at the end of the workout. So I, in all my wisdom, thought that I would do that again except combine it with triceps and do 50 tricep pushups. I tell Kate we are going to do 50. Off we go.... After 20 I said, "How about we just do 3 sets of 10". Kate says, "Hell NO! We're doing 50". I called her a bad name and told her she was mean. So we kept pushing them out. The last 5 of the last 2 sets of 10 were ridiculous! There was much crying and name calling. When we were done we both rolled over relieved that it was over! It was funny because at the end, we both went to wash our hands and after about 3 rubs of the soap, we both dropped our hands to the sink and moaned... at the exact same time!! Now that is a hell of a chest/tri workout!

After that, Kate said that she would help be pose practice because I've been kind of slacking on that and need someone to be accountable to. It's like any workout at home. We all have the best intentions some times but life gets in the way and before you know it, it's past your bed time and you promise yourself that you will do it tomorrow... only to fail again. Right? Haven't we all done that at some place in our lives? And then we face reality and admit that if we are to get a consistent workout, we have to join a gym? Well, maybe it's just me.

So I showed her the poses and she timed me. My legs were totally failing! Shaking like a Chihuahua on a cold winter day. It was horrible and a real wake up call that I better get my butt practicing or I will be sucking it on competition day!

Then HIIT with Lisa. Sprints on the treadmill. Still feeling that pull on my right quad and feel frustrated that I could do better if I could just extend my stride without pain. But I got through that and abs after.

Then Spin which I had my class do 5 pushups in between each song = 50 pushups... Why did I do that on chest/tri workout day?? I'm retarded! It wasn't that hard... only 5 at a time... But still only about 40% of my class did them all with me. And I'll do the same workout tomorrow with my morning class. Hope I'm not too stiff to do it all again. Then more abs.

Tomorrow Lisa is cutting my calories again. I'm nervous about that and let me tell you why. You know how I've confessed my cheats? (you know... the Triscits and whatnot) Well, it's getting easier and easier to snitch little cheats. A bite of family dinner here... a spoon of TJ's BNPB there... it's the dinner thing that is really getting me the last couple days. One bite...2 bites.... 3 bites... guilt. So LISA LISTEN UP!... you need to tell me to stop the cheating! Tell me why I have to stop the cheats and scold me for it. If you don't, and it continues to be "no big deal", then I'm afraid the cheats will add up to 100 calories a day and then what will be the point of decreasing my calories? I totally understand the cheating mentality. If you cheat once, and don't get in trouble, then cheating becomes easier and easier.

STOP THE CHEATS!!!

I think that will do for today. Tomorrow is spin, legs and posing with Lisa. I don't have a partner tomorrow *sad face*, but I'll put my big girl pants on and do my best.

ps.... As Kate and I were walking out of the gym today, I mentioned to her that I should stop by the NEX to get another MetRex shaker bottle for Mike, because he has taken a liking mine and uses it for his chocolate protein shakes. The problem is that the chocolate leaves chunks that won't rinse out easy, so I have to scrub the thing before I make my own shakes. That said, I did not have time to stop before coming home to eat before my HIIT so I said I'd just do it later. Sweet Kate came by my house while I was at my HIIT with a new shaker for me. What a great friend and workout partner! Luvs and hugs to Kate for being so awesome!

I'm not a black woman but I play one on TV....

2010-03-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

I got my first spray tan today. Hmmmm.... I don't even know where to start. Interesting experience... First of all, I have to say that God places me in situations that prepare me for future events. For example, when I started the massage program, I was VERY nervous about disrobing and getting naked on a table with about 20 students on the room. Even covered, this was scary for me and took me quite awhile to relax with it. I'm just a conservative ND girl... Next I decided to do the competition. I'm picturing myself on stage looking thin and awesome, rocking the bikini. OK, Rachelle wasn't thinking about the "in-between" stages. So I have NOT rocked the bikini but still have had to put it on and pose practice in front of Lisa, and the camera (which brought me to tears the first time). The second camera session was easier on my fragile ego because I was more prepared for what I would see from the back side and I did see some small improvements. I'm getting more used to the bikini wearing (not that I plan to sport around town in it).Which brings me to today's tanning session. So there I was naked as a Jay bird, in the middle of my kitchen with a complete stranger. (You know, all good stories start with "so there I was", right?) She gives me the directions... "Don't put your arms down... stand with your feet apart... turn to the side...." all the while misting me with what feels like arctic snow, so everything is standing at attention (goose pimples, of course!) "Ok now face the back.... other side... back to the front.... expose the inner thigh... Ok, now put your arms straight up in the air..." etc... I'm thinking that arms straight up, with your feet apart is about as vulnerable as I will have to be right?... wrong!.... "last, let me get the 'smile'... turn to the back and bend over"... Are ya kidding!? I'm thinking...'It's just like gynecologists... you've seen one, you've seen 'em all'. Here goes nothing!.... whew! Cold mist to the ass, and we are done. I said, "Boy, you really have to trust a person!" Then I had to stand there while she 'dried' me off. (With warm air...thank goodness!)

In the end, I do like the color, but it's pretty dark right now. The tan solution has a bronzer in it so that she can see what she is doing. The bronzer rinses right off but you don't want to rinse the tan for at least 8 hours. So I'm hiding out in my house looking like a white woman who

is dreaming of being black. My family got a good giggle on my behalf and I have decided to let you all giggle too. I'm posting my first picture to my blog. Have fun!

Confessions of a Triscuit

2010-03-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Quotes for the week....

Me to Mike "I cheated on my diet for the first time since mid January". Mike, "What did you eat?"

Me, "3 Triscuits." Mike, "Oooooo....."

Me to Lisa "I cheated on my diet last night". Lisa, "What did you eat?" "3 Triscuits" "Is that all?" (me in my thoughts.."I should have had 6")

Me to Mike "I bought Thomas's Whole Wheat bagels for you and the kids instead of the usual white. They are SO good... so soft and full of flavor! I could eat them dry and plain." (and I have). Mike, "Boy, your tastes have really changed in the last couple of months!"

Lisa to me while lifting my last rep of bench press, "Don't shake your head 'no' at me...push it up!"

Conversation between me, Lisa and Mossy after our HIIT on Thursday, "I ordered my suit last night." "Me too! Did you get padding in your top?" "No I want my pecs to show. Besides I have tits and muscle, that's all I need" "Tater tots" "Chick-lets" "Hey Jason, how are you enjoying this conversation?" Jason, "Can we go back to talking about your daughter's period?"

Me to my oldest daughter this morning, "What do I get to eat today?...EGGS!" Kaelyn, "You say that every day and every day you say... EGGS!"

Jane to me after my massage last night, " I feel like there is less of you."

I drank a 20 ounce MetRex shake on my way to Lisa's for posing practice. Lisa (repeatedly), "Pull your abs in." Me (repeatedly) "Damn shake..." Me to Lisa after posing practice, "At the competition, if I need to pull my abs in, just yell, 'SHAKE'.. and I'll know what to do." :-)

Dutchess (my dog) to Flexie (Lisa's dog), "Don't French me in front of my mom, I'll get grounded!"

Madelyn (one of my workout partners) on Thursday "Dude, my abs are STILL stiff!" Me, "From Saturday?? " "yes"... "Sweeeeettt"... hehehehe

Mike, "How'd you sleep last night" Me, "I think I woke myself up several times with my groaning every time I rolled over".. "Mac truck?" "Yep"

Kate to me, "How's the pooping going" "Guaranteed every Wednesday at 10:30 thanks to Kashi Go Lean"

Mike (repeatedly) "Put those guns away" Me (repeatedly) --rolling the eyes....

Me, "Trampoline meet my posing suit.... posing suit, trampoline... bring the tan!"

Hello Motrin! It's been awhile... Did you miss me?

2010-03-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

I lost 1.4 pounds this week... yeah...

Today's workout, quads/back, HIIT and Spin... booo... (I mean.. yeah!)

I lifted this morning with Pam, wondering how my HIIT was going to go after lifting quads.

I was even more afraid when Lisa said to meet her on the track since it's such a nice day. I loved being outside! But running outside is by far harder than running on the treadmill. So I warmed up with 2 laps around the track and we started out our first sprint. I guess it was too much too soon because within the first 5 steps I felt that my quads were not ready! Both pulled immediately.. especially the right side. So I hobble/ jogged..(would that be "jobbled"?) to the end and tried to shake it off on the way back to the start, but I know my body pretty well. This was going to be a problem. After a little stretch, I tried again but slower... still pain. So we did a couple laps of butt kickers to warm and stretch the quads and things started to loosen up a little bit. Then a couple more sprints but I couldn't really get a good stride and felt like I was limping along. Then some side steps and jogging backwards to the start again. You know the feeling when you have a tight muscle that might be on the verge of a charlie horse if you aren't careful? yep.. that's me.. both quads. So I'm sitting here with ice packs wrapped around both legs and the Motrin sitting handy. I will be playing games in Spin tonight because I suspect that my quads will not love me if I try to push them on the bike. There you have that...

On a funny note... On the way home from the gym today, I saw a man walking in a charcoal gray suit with high-water pants, light brown ankle boots and long gray hair sporting a shiny bald spot (reminded me of Michael Bolten hair... 80's wannabe rocker.. not working!) Anyway, I had to giggle at the many fashion blunders on this one man. It's the little things sometimes! hehehehe.

rockin' the corduroys!

2010-03-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

I usually don't post on Sunday's but I have to tell you that I was feeling better about not getting to eat steak last night when I put these brown cords on that my mom gave me at Christmas time. I haven't worn them because they were pretty hoochie mama at the time...stretched to the limit! Today I put them on they felt like a HUG! :-) Aaaahhhh..... who needs steak anyway?

Where did that truck come from???

2010-03-13T16:05:00.000-08:00

What a week! I feel like I've been hit by a Mac Truck today! That HIIT session really did a number on my quads! And the rest of me is stiff all over! It's all good though.

I ran a few errands after my workout today and I only got to eat half of my after workout snack. Let me tell you!... I do NOT need to let myself get that hungry! By the time I got home from my errands I was so hungry, I was shaking and light headed...not to mention, short tempered! It would be easy to throw a Detour bar in my purse for such occasions but then I have to rethink the rest of my meals for the day. Detour bars only hold me over for an hour or so before I'm hungry again, so if I subbed one for something else I might suffer later. Anyway, I'm catching up on my calories finally (3 hours later). I'll be going out to run errands again shortly because my family is eating steaks for dinner and I don't want to smell it, or see it, or think about it. Usually I eat my meal while my family eats theirs but not on steak night. They shouldn't have to deny their favorite stuff on my behalf. It's bad enough that we haven't eaten out as a family in 3 months! Frankly I don't think this is so bad considering the money we have saved... not to mention the excess of calories and fat that you consume from eating out. But the steak will be too hard for me. There are few meals that rank higher for me than steaks on the grill. Nights like this are where the diet REALLY gets hard.

HIIT me with your best shot

2010-03-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

Today was my first HIIT training session with Lisa. I was as nervous as the "early worm". As it turned out, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After a 5 minute warm up on the tread mill (and my third pee break in 15 minutes) we got started with 15 minutes of 20 second sprints at 8.0/4% incline with 40 second rest. We worked up to 9.5 speed and 5.0 incline. After 15 minutes we ran at 6.0 flat decreasing speed by .1 every minute for 10 minutes, then calves. In my foolish honesty, I told Lisa that it wasn't that hard. Don't get me wrong, I worked up a sweat... but at no point did I think I was going to die... or go catapulting off the back of the treadmill. So now I have a baseline to start my HIIT sessions, and I will probably feel much differently next time. I'll let you know. I'm sure that I'll be sorry for flapping my stupid jaws about that.

I feel great this week. Everything hurts and that's just how I like it. Plus... no more cardio for the rest of the week :-) YEAH!!

ps... AND... Lisa gave me a sample of watermelon flavored BCAAs and I just have one thing to say about that.... YUMMY!!

pss... AND.... I went shopping today (fun shopping, not chore shopping) and what girl doesn't enjoy that???

To veg?.. or not to veg? That is the question

2010-03-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Here is my week in retrospect... Monday, about 20 minutes worth of side lunges. Monday night, 4 straight minutes of isometric squats on the bike with no hands (during the 45 minute class). Tuesday morning, ditto Monday night. Tuesday mid morning quad workout. Tuesday night massage....aaaaahhhhh. Wednesday ditto Monday mornings lunges, followed by a very low energy kickboxing class. Wednesday night spin...I'll rate it a 7 out of ten on my awesomeness workout scale. (I'm tellin' ya, Better N Peanut Butter!... magic!) So I sit before you tonight with pretty toasted legs but I'm ready and stoked (and scared...) about tomorrow's HIIT session with Lisa. (High Intensity Interval Training, for those of you who might not know... aka.."Rachelle's about to get her ass kicked")

Overall, I'm having a good week. I feel good, rested, and fed... all relatively speaking. I'm going to chalk up last weeks long term bad mood to hormones and call it a day.

As I'm typing, I'm enjoying my last meal of the day, turkey breast (4oz) and a 6 oz sweet potato. I put cinnamon on my potato and it's so delicious! I wish I could eat more. But I'm not done yet so I will continue to enjoy every bite. I was so happy on Tuesday to get the OK to eat some vegetables with some of my weekly meals. I'd been getting really bored with eggs in particular and I asked (well, begged actually) Lisa to allow me to have some chopped up veggies in my eggs to make them more tolerable and interesting. Lisa explained to me why veggies are not on my diet and I'm going to share that information with you.

Last night and again today, I have had 2 different friends express concerns about my current diet. I can understand and appreciate their concern for my health. Sometimes a friend has to speak out and say, "Rachelle it's probably not safe for you to jump off that cliff without a shoot of come kind" (even tho I might be holding a perfectly good umbrella). So this part of my blog is for those friends and anyone else who might just be wondering why I can't eat fruits and vegetables! How ridiculous is that? What about all the vitamins/minerals and fiber that you get from them? And the calories are really not substantial, so what's the harm?

So here's the deal with the fruit. This is easy to understand... all fruits have sugar and the body processes sugar the same whether from God's creation or from a bag. Most fruits are mostly water and do not contribute much to the vitamin pool that some seem to be so concerned about. Your better fruits to eat are berries for fiber, bananas for potassium and oranges for vitC...all of which I can eat outside of the 8 weeks of "contest prep" diet. Again...sugar = no no. So fruits are out. Do I miss them? YES! Can I live without them for 8 weeks? YES! Will I get scurvy? NO! Do I take a good multivitamin? YES! OK?.. is everyone OK so far? Not so difficult to understand.

Moving on to vegetables. Here's the basics. If I'm hungry, I need to put food in my body that will fuel my muscles and help me to reach my goals. I would have to eat 6 cups of lettuce to get the same calories as 1 sweet potato. The potato will be more satisfying, and will give me the calories that I need then and there versus munching all day on a bag of lettuce. The exceptions are more dense veggies like broccoli, peppers, sprouts, but still not as good as the awesomeness of the sweet potato - God's perfect carbohydrate, just like eggs are God's perfect protein. If I'm so desperate for something crunchy, I can certainly munch on a piece of celery, (after all..even anorexics eat celery) but then move on! I don't need to eat 5 pounds of vegetables to satisfy a craving! (although I probably COULD at this point....I don't need to) So what about the fiber? I get the fiber I need thru the whole wheats that I eat. WW sandwich thins, WW bagels, oats, and Kashi Go Lean cereal (which, I might add, does almost too good of job...with the "cleansing"... you know...) And if you think that you can't lose fat without fruits and veggies then you really do not have a good grasp of how a human loses weight. Don't you watch Biggest Loser?... Calories in vs Calories out! Jillian says it all the time! It's the basic component of weight loss. You do not need fruits and veggies to lose weight.

So how are we doin' with all this? Here is the bottom line for me. I'm doing this thing. It's 8 weeks of extreme dieting, yes, but I'm not going to die... or lose my teeth... or get sick. So please don't harsh my dreams mellow, ok? If you can't encourage me, please just trust that Lisa will not steer me down a path to scurvy. This is how it works, and that's why more people choose NOT to do it. It's hard! It's the hardest thing I've ever done! But I'm OK, friends. Thank you for loving me enough to give a shit, but please stop with the downward pull or you will find me pulling away. I'm jumping with my umbrella and you can't stop me. But you can be waiting for me at the bottom of the cliff with a big pizza, a bag of frosted animal crackers and some cheetos ("Baked" please...cuz they are healthier :-)

I love you all!!

Battleflag

2010-03-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

I'm proud and disappointed at the same time. I did not lose any weight again this week, which really freaks me out. I trust that I'll get to where I need to be but I'm afraid of what Lisa is going to make me do! I'm sure she is going to break me! It's going to hurt bad and I'm scared!

I'm proud because I have kept a good attitude today and plan to keep it up all week. I subbed a power flex class at Garden this morning and worked hard (although not too much cardio except for 3 sets of 30 jump squats... insert a little heavy breathing and a couple of sweat beads) Then I had a great lift with Pam, back and bi's. I didn't have any wrist pain with the exercises (thank you Lisa!)

At 5:30 I told my spin class that I didn't lose any weight this week so I'm going to take it out on them. They were scared, like I would be scared of Lisa if she said that to me! (insert evil laughter.... all you trainers out there can relate to this wicked happiness) I felt great during spin and I worked extra hard! It felt great~! However, every time I have to go up the stairs I get winded and my legs get all tingly and burn-y. Stupid lactic acid..... I hope I can get the same burst of energy in Spin tomorrow morning ... (then CPR class from 8-12) then work quads. At least the workout will be short with just the one muscle group. (I hope... cuz tomorrow is a back to back day and I have between 12 and 1:15 to drive from Garden, to home, super quick snack, drive to NPS to work quads with Pam and then home to bring Tianna to an Ortho apt, then home to meet with Lisa...etc...etc... )

As for the food.... it's going ok I guess. I cheated on Sunday night with a serving of sugar free jello (about 3/4 cup) and a bite of banana. I took out one of my 2 boca burgers to make up the difference. Denial is getting harder and harder. I dream about food all the time. I'll be asking Lisa about some food changes tomorrow, so I can have a little variety to keep my temptations at bay. I'm thinking about a freakin' piece of celery to munch on! Mmmm .. a little crunch! That's what I need! I just need to put something in my mouth!

ps... I already tried gum, but it's not really satisfactory....

pss... I changed my choice for my posing routine song today and actually put together about 45 seconds of it. I'm going to show Lisa tomorrow. I hope she likes it. It's still sketchy and not too smooth but the foundation is coming together... BTW--the new song choice is "Battleflag" by Lo Fidelity Allstars... it totally rocks my life.

no more funk....

2010-03-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

I've been a downer all week. I don't know how you can stand reading my blog sometimes. I glanced back a few days to see what I've been up to because my memory is already fading :-) I've been in a real funk lately. But today I feel much better. I don't know if I've lost any weight this week because I'm staying diligent about not stepping on the scale until Monday. I've been very temped but I think I'm a little scared frankly. I almost don't want to know. I can tell you that I put my massage lab 'uniform' pants on this morning and they were ridiculously loose. I can't really tell that much in my jeans but these pants were definitely too big for me now. After giving 2 good massages, I enjoyed my snack and had a good workout with Pam. The gym manager called me over and asked if I was personal training. HA! I wish!... I don't think he believed me even tho if I was personal training, I wouldn't be working out, and I wouldn't be giving all my "clients" a body building workout. Whatever... he likes me because I introduced him to powdered peanut butter and I pick it up for him at the commissary. (Thanks again to Kate for introducing ME to powdered peanut butter...even tho I can't eat it until after May. It was good while it lasted)

Tomorrow is leg day and I think I have Madelyn to work out with. This is my second leg workout this week and I'm not dreading is since I don't have to do walking lunges! YEAH! Next week I have legs twice and back twice, and the week after that I will have some interesting changes that will probably make for some good blogging. :-)

I'll check in with you on Monday to let you know my weight progress. Enjoy your weekend!

Just because....

2010-03-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

Did I tell you that I lost almost 8 inches off my body?

Also, I'm pretty sure that Trader Joe's Better-N-Peanut Butter has magical fairy energy dust in it because I had some on my rice cakes before spin class tonight (which I was half dreading as on most Wednesday nights) and let me tell you, I didn't even get warm until the 3rd song and I had energy for days! The class said that it was a great class and I 'tried to kill them' and I didn't even cheat like I usually have to (on Wednesdays). I barely even felt tired! WEIRD! But I enjoyed that feeling!... just like old times, back when I was eating 60% carbs! :-)

Do NOT try this at home!

2010-03-02T11:20:00.001-08:00

I have some very important advice for you today. Please read carefully and take this advice to heart. Oh.. and if you have an eversion to swearing, I would suggest you sit this one out.

Yesterday I told you that I had to wax/shave my entire body for the competition and I should start now so that my skin doesn't suprise me with any adverse reactions right before the competition. I need to explain this story to you...it's for your own good.

I waxed my arms once about 12 years ago and liked the way it felt afterward but didn't really feel the need to continue to do it. Perhaps, like having babies, you forget pain over time, and that's why women have multiple kids. I am here to remind you and myself that this is an unnecessary pain that should be avoided. So... I am armed with my supplies, alone in the house, away we go. 1,2,3... RIP... SSSSSSS....aaaaaaa.... yeah, that smarts. But I've already started, and it only hurts for a second.... just like ripping off a band aide. I finish that up, both arms, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. My arms are a little red but a little soothing oil and they feel ok. I'm feeling pretty confident right now... like I'm obviously a damn tough chick to have just done that so lets go the next mile. Now I have to tell you that me and shaving the bikini area have never been good bedfellows. I get itchy... and it's just not fun. However, waxing?... no bumps no itch... I'm feeling tough... you know where this is going? I apply the wax, feeling a little nervous but it's too late to turn back. "Just close your eyes and do it girl"... 1,2,3..RIP.... FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!.... SSSSHHHHIIITTTTTTTT... EFFING HELL!....... DAMN IT!......OH MY GOD!!! (there was more but my mom might read this... sorry mom) The wax must have been too warm or something because only a small amount of wax came off on the cloth and the rest stayed on me! It just pulled apart like trying to pull freshly chewed gum out of a child's hair, but at high speed! This particular wax does not come off with warm water (I know this from waxing my legs since forever) so I have to do it again. I am not so tough any more! A new cloth goes down and I'm praying for mercy.... 1,2,3... RIP..... (insert previous sailor talk here).... Only about half the wax came off and there is no way in Hell I'm going a third time. So the oil comes out by the handful... "please God let this sooth my pain. I'm sorry I just cussed like a sailor, please have mercy"...

People! Do NOT try this at home! Just spend the money and go to the salon! That hurts like a bitch too but not like what I just went through! I had tender viddles for HOURS yesterday!

(Was that too much information for you?) Well, I'm not forcing you to read my blog!

Today was a "Training with Lisa" day, so you know there will be a story. There should be a TV show called "Training with Lisa" with soft, tinkling chimes in the background to make you feel safe and happy... like Sesame Street! I'm sure her other clients have plenty of stories! Anyway, the gist of the day went like this... worked the biceps and triceps -- all good, the normal push to failure, I love it. Then a look at the diet. A little cut back on calories but not too bad, I maybe lost about 200 calories for the week. I can totally handle that. Then I wanted her to check my lat spread poses from the front and back, as those are the ones that I struggle with the most. So I "strike the pose" and she says.."Ohhh... they're so cute!" in her best "talk to her puppy" voice. Really Lisa? "Cute"? How about.. "Damn girl!.. looking hot!".. or "Wow! They are really coming along!" or... "Hey! I can tell you have been practicing!" ... but NO.. they are 'cute'. **sigh** ... darn... I guess I better keep hitting the lats cuz they aren't "Damn".. only, "Cute".

Actually, we had a good laugh over that. Especially after I told her the waxing the tenders story. I'm probably a better story 'teller' than story 'writer'. In either case, we both got a good laugh out of it.

After all... humor is just tragedy with time!

Wooly Mammoth????

2010-03-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

So today is the start of a new week. I only lost about 1/2 a pound this week, but I'm not letting it bother me. I trust that Lisa will get me where I need to be (no pressure Lisa...but if I don't get there, I will be scarred for life and probably end up on 20 years of therapy that will burden my family financially and emotionally forever.... but again... no pressure). But don't worry, my kids are great food police! Last night, Mike make jumbalia and gumbo for dinner and it smelled sooo good! I was only going to lick the spoon (there was nothing in the spoon, I swear!) and Kaelyn snatched that spoon out of my hand and said, "NO MOM! It's not on the list!" **sad face** So not to worry.. there is no cheating going on in this house! I can't even lick the darn spoon!

I feel good and rested today and had a good leg workout. I have a new partner for Mondays, Pam. She is going to be a great partner. Thanks Pam! I wish I could bring her to spin with me to tell me to "push out that last standing sprint!" But I'm on my own for that.

My next chore for today (other than 15 minutes of posing practice) is to "de-wool" myself. So last week, I asked Lisa if she shaves or waxes the arm hair. I figured that the arm hair would have to go... no big deal. I'll just wax it and be done with it. I've been waxing my legs for years and I'm used to the "1,2,3..rriiiipp". So she goes on to explain that I should start shaving now to make sure that I don't get razor bumps before the competition. OK.. makes sense. BUT WAIT.. there's more.... :-) I have to shave... EVERYTHING! Tummy, chest, back, shoulders, butt..... (privates of course). What?? The paint will bead on the tiny hairs on your body so even the invisible peach fuzz has to go. How many more surprises like this are in store for me, I wonder? My first concern was that the hair would grow back as stubble and I'd be stuck having to have my husband shave my back for the rest of my life!! Pretty sexy, right? Honey, will you shave my back? Eeeewwww.... (but it doesn't, thank goodness!) So Mike now has the job of shaving me AND painting me! How lucky for him!

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me" --Stuart Smalley

2010-02-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

I've been discouraged all week this week. I feel like I'm not making progress... lifting less weight with more effort, and I haven't lost any weight. I talked to Lisa about it, and she said it's normal to go through this mental struggle. I feel better now than I did this morning. I'm trying not to be a big crab apple for my family to have to put up with. I have a change of work out this week and Lisa took me off the Creatine for the next 2 weeks. The diet is the same for another week. I practiced my posing tonight with Mike's help and almost thought my lats looked just a tad bigger. Could have been the shadows of the dimly lit room, but I'm going to let my mind believe that there has been growth just to make me feel better. :-)

So I don't mean to be a downer tonight, but I just wanted to be honest in my blog about how I am feeling in case anyone who reads this is going through the same thing. Tomorrow is a rest day (well, 30 minutes of posing practice which is a damn hard workout!) but at least I don't have to go to the gym :-) I also don't get a lot of calories. :-( But it will be OK. I have plenty of work to do tomorrow so I will stay busy at home.

I'm looking forward to next week's workouts and I promise I will not step on the scale until Monday morning!!! (actually... I'm not sure if I can keep that promise so I'm going to retract that statement)....

ps... I have some fun info to share but I want to be in a better mood so I can make it entertaining. Stay tuned. ;-)

Tired...ass... lats... and other complaints

2010-02-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

There is good news and bad news today. I'm in a really funky mood, so forgive the lack of humor in today's blog.

I guess I'm just tired. Lack of carbs catching up to me? End of the week? Hormonal? I'm supposed to be on my cycle this week but haven't gotten it. I was expecting my period to stop at some point during training, as the body fat decreases so does the flow. (Sorry guys... I know you don't like that kind of talk, but it's part of the deal) Lisa said I'd get used to the feeling of being constantly tired, but as a recovering carb junky, I'm not loving the feeling. I'm used to being energetic! I have too much to do to feel this sluggish and it makes me cranky. I'm afraid that it will get worse before it gets better so I better start sucking it up and put my big girl pants on.

So today's training with Lisa was posing. (in the suit--with camera) I was feeling pretty good about things. I've lost about 5 pounds, people are starting to comment on the changes, and I'm feeling leaner - even thru the hiney. UNTIL today... Ugh... pics from the rear view?... I have only one word... panoramic. It didn't help that I have that awesome "runner's" tan line. You know the one.... nice tan legs up to about mid thigh and then it's the color God gave you at birth. Thank God I don't have to look at myself from the back! It ain't pretty people. Although Lisa, bless her heart, tried to encourage me that it will come off, "don't worry", "you're doing way better than I expected you to do".... That helped to calm the tears that were wanting to well up, but it still does not change the fact that I have to lose about 15 more pounds to be ready for the competition. Also... my stupid lats aren't growing and I have very little control over them. I assigned my family the task of coming up behind me, put their fingers in my armpits and telling me to push their fingers away. Hunter has already done it 4 times. And I have to hold it as long as they have their fingers there. I should be careful what I ask my family for. :-)

BUT I have to admit that one pose looked pretty darn good. The front chest. Not so much about the muscularity of it, but it made me look skinny. So take that you stupid camera!

Well, I better get to work. Got laundry in the works, a messy kitchen, a desk piled high with about a weeks worth of mail, dog tracks coming through the house, and daughter to pick up from school, snack to eat, dinner to prepare, massage class to go to...(better look for some clean sheets and fill my lotion bottles) and drink my BCAAs as I've had none today. Whew... I think I need another cup of tea and my super woman vitamins! At least I'll get a good massage tonight. I pre-picked my partner last Tuesday to insure that I'd get a good one.

Until next time.... Fake it 'til you make it... keep driving on.

Glutius Hurtius Maximus!

2010-02-24T20:22:00.000-08:00

OMG! I'm so crappin' sore! As you know, I worked legs with Lisa yesterday and was expecting my soreness to peak tomorrow (which it probably still will, in which case I'll be hobbling around like a 90 year old!) but I am very sore today already. Not so much the quads as the gluts, gluts, gluts! My poor cheeks have been twitching any time I try to call them to action. For example, standing up after sitting for anything longer than 5 minutes, going up the stairs... oh, and earlier, I had to "run" (more like hobble-jog) from my car into the house cuz I forgot something and I my cheeks felt like they were going to rip off. So I had to call shenanigans on any kind of "bouncing" activity. THEN, after the leg torture was over we did some abs (as I mentioned in yesterday's blog). I wasn't really expecting to be sore from that either but indeed I am. I didn't really notice too badly until the last 15 minutes of my first class when I do abs with them. We did abs on the ball with slow and concentrated purpose and I felt the burn right away under my ribs cage. THEN an hour later, I was doing the same damn thing at the end of my KB class.... THEN... After Spin, I gave my class a 15 minute ab session again. I think my ribs are bruised... Everything hurts in my core. I have sworn off ab work for at LEAST 24 hours! ;-) WRONG! Since I'm working on posing with Lisa tomorrow, guess what... ABS... darn... I think I will punch Lisa in the butt when I get to her house so she can feel some of my pain. (just kidding, just kidding... Please don't hurt me, Lisa... I love you... really ... I was just kidding!) But seriously... I might do it..

"Think Thin"...

2010-02-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of blogs over the weekend. I don't want to bore with the usual "lift, sore, tired, goodnight....lift, sore, tired, goodnight" So now you are updated...

I've made it a habit to look ahead to my next meal often during the day. At night I always look to see what I get to eat for breakfast, and in the morning I look ahead to my meals for the day. I have my favorite treats, (bananas, peanut butter, anything out of a wrapper). My ultimate favorite treat is a Think Thin bar from Trader Joes (I think I get enlightenment from eating them..they are my LSD --see last post if you don't understand this) , and I get one today. I was so happy this morning when I saw that. I actually took some time to think about when I would eat it. I should be alone with my TT bar, so I can savor every bite. Should I nibble off the chocolate first like some people do with peanut butter cups? I wonder how long I can keep each bite in my mouth before I have to swallow? How many licks would it take to get to the center? Pretty sick right? Imagine if you had to eat plain chicken for a week and during that week you could have one snicker bar. How and when would you eat yours?

I have to say that I do like the foods that I eat and I am, in no way starving. The hardest part of the day for me is dinner time. My family eats dinner together at the dinner table every night, so it's hard for me to smell the delicious, flavorful, ... saucy........... cheesy........ spicy.......... carb loaded foods on the table, while I eat eggs, eggs, eggs.... (It seems like there are a lot of eggs in my life lately. BUT I get to put salsa on them which is delish! Sunday night my husband made chili and I LOVE his chili! It smelled so good, and I was so hungry that I had to eat half of my dinner before dinner and saved the other half until later, so I sat at the table with nothing and I almost cried, I wanted some so bad. I did have a bite, much to the chastisement by my children. It was sooooo good, it's been my only cheat.

Also... girl scout cookies are from the Devil.

On to workouts.... Lisa worked my legs like a rented pony today. I'm fearful of my heavy cardio day tomorrow. But if my pattern stays true, I'll have DOMS on the second day so Thursday's Spin class will be torture and after that I can "rest" my legs for 3 days. Lisa also gave me some ab exercises. I have lower back issues and it causes me a lot of discomfort. I also know that my hip flexors and psoas are very strong so they do a lot of the work when I'm trying to work my abs. I try really hard to disengage them but I just can't turn them off for many of the conventional muscle building ab work. Lisa has been great at trying to find exercises that don't pull my lower back and at the same time, force me to use just the abs. I told Lisa today, and I'll tell you too, that I HATE when weakness shines in my face. I'm not talking about the sun light coming thru the gym window last week during squats and shining right in my upturned face like an angel smiling down and encouraging me that I can squat that 150 pounds. It's more like the flashlight in the face in Blair Witch Project...." I'm scared.... so scared..." How can such a strong body have such a weak core? Ugh!... how embarrassing!

So here I sit, with the rain coming down, thinking about my Think Thin bar. *sigh...* It's going to be a good afternoon! :-)

TTYL!

Rachelle

Spiritual enlightenment at the gym??

2010-02-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

I have a different kind of story for you today. But first, the facts.... my inner thighs are totally shredded today - can't even walk without pain! So I lifted back today instead of legs and plan to lift legs tomorrow..I better feel better! That's all... (although I enjoyed the cute blonde with pig tail braids, pink shirt and pants with a darker pink skirt over the top... really?)

So I had massage lab today. For those of you who may not know, I'm getting my AA in Massage Therapy, and I give a damn good massage. (insert ego here...) Lab is once a week and today was our second week, so we did introductions. Everything was going well..."Hi, I'm Billy Bob Jim Joe... etc" Until we get to the guy next to me. He is saying how he changed his name to Atrayu (yes, like "Never Ending Story" except this dude is too young to know anything about that) ... I had to ask him why he chose Atrayu as a name change? why not Derrick? or Billy? He says (the short version) that he was given the name by his "Enlightenment Mentor" at a spiritual retreat about 5 years ago (etc, etc.... weird... etc, etc) So this other guy asks him what was his "mode of enlightenment, mushrooms?" (I'm thinking..."Is this conversation really going to go here? I'm from ND for goodness sake!") Not mushrooms... LSD! He continues on about how it really helped him get healed from all his mental woes, and how he found such piece and enlightenment...etc, etc.... freaky... etc, etc. I'm last to go. Thank God I get to change the subject! "Hi I'm Rachelle...." married, kids, body building, done. Then I get the question from my Never Ending Talking friend, "So why did you decide to do that? Are you finding spiritual enlightenment?" I said, "No, I don't find spiritual enlightenment in the gym, I only find sweat, and iron, and physical exhaustion. I do it for the physical and mental challenge." Then my TEACHER says, "I'm sure you find some kind of enlightenment doing that at some level." I say, "No, I'm a Christian and I find my 'enlightenment' through God. At the gym, I just workout."

California is really a beautiful place but it is filled with freaks! (No offense if you are from here...unless you are freak too.. then you can be offended if you want. But I'm sure you won't think you are a freak anyway, cuz you fit right in with all your freak friends.... So it can be safe to know that I am not offending anyone)

Strike a pose, there's nothin' to it... vogue!

2010-02-18T17:23:00.000-08:00

Things are going well in general. I busted my legs yesterday in class. Not sure what it was exactly, but I'm guessing it might have been the isometric lunges, combined with a new Turbo Kick routine and killer spin class. My inner thighs are so toasted... I hope I can get a good leg lift in tomorrow.

My meeting with Lisa was good. Finally we had time to get to some posing. Whew! What a workout that is going to be! I was happy that she felt encouraged by my progress. I still have a lot of fat to lose but Lisa was confident that it would come off.

My diet is going well. I had to giggle about tonight's meal though. Have you ever measured out 1/4 cup of cooked rice? and sprinkle 1/2 tablespoon of A1 on it? It looks ridiculously tiny on my plate! I saved one of 2 Boca Burgers to eat after my class tonight so that I don't have to go to bed starving. So far I like the foods I'm eating (for the most part), and I've stayed surprisingly satisfied. I look forward to anything that is bagel, bread, rice.... =carbs! I also cherish my occasional banana. But I'm not cheating at ALL and I can see little changes slowly happening. I think my upper body has grown a little and I've lost a couple of pounds so I have to have lost some fat.

My only complaint is that I seem to be sick again. It might be residual from my little bit of sickness a couple of weekends ago. I hope it's not a new bug, but it's deep in my chest and it hurts to cough. I'm hoping to rest out of it this weekend, as I have no more cardio until Monday. I've also been sleepy this week, but that might be the 'sickness' thing, or just the lack of carbs finally catching up to me. But I'm getting by and working my hardest to achieve my goal in a short 9 weeks!

Shout out to Lisa!

2010-02-16T21:31:00.000-08:00

I trained with Lisa today. More food, food food talk. She gave me my diet for the next 2 weeks and I have to say that it was money well spent. Food planning and cooking stresses me out, so having to add counting every gram of everything and figuring out what to eat and when would have totally consumed my life (as if I'm not already completely consumed by this whole thing).

We then took about 30 minutes to knock out a few quick back exercises and I told Lisa that I need her for every workout! Unfortunately, I'd have to pick up and "extra job" to pay for that and I don't thing "The Sprinkler" would fair well with a stripper pole... so that's out.

After my speedy (but effective) workout, I went to Target for a food scale, the grocery store and finally Trader Joe's for all the foods on my weekly diet list that I knew I didn't have. $150 later, I was rearranging my cupboards to make it all fit.

There is quite a science to body building and I would highly recommend that if you ever want to try it, to find yourself a pro, sell a couple of non essential organs, and get as much help as you can buy! I could NEVER EVER have done this without Lisa. Even with all the advice and books out there. (Which I don't have time to read, cuz I'm always at the gym!.. or trying to figure out what to eat!)

I have support... and I'm not talking about my bra

2010-02-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great workout because Mike came with me to the gym and played the part of "trainer" for my bicep/tricep workout. My wrist trouble frustrates me most on arm day. It hurts most to pronate so any "palm up" activity just irritates it. I did my best to modify my hand position, and Mike did his best to break me. I loved being able to spend quality time together with my husband in this manner. He said he was nervous that his pushing might make me angry, but I suggested that since never fight (well, rarely) that we could pretend we were fighting and then have make up..... never mind... Mike would not like it if I wrote such personal things.

Then I was invited at the very last minute to go out to eat with some really fun girlfriends. You know how I feel about eating out right now, but I decided to make a quick meal replace shake (cake batter flavored protein and it was REALLY delicious!) and stuck some snacks and protein water in my purse. You know? This thing is getting easier. I had a friend offer me a shrimp that she was pretty sure was steamed, and another friend offer some of her steak, both of which I could have eaten, but that would have been torture for me. To have something so yummy but only get a taste is much harder than just saying no all together.

Next there is the issue of Valentine's Day....

Valentine's Day is a bad day to be on a diet. I haven't baked chocolate

chip cookies (mine and my family's favorite) for about 3 months so I decided that for V-Day I'd bake a big choc chip heart shaped cookies for each of my 4 Valentines. I was feeling a lot of anxiety about that since there is no greater food weakness for me. I decided I'd bake the cookies first thing after breakfast (my least tempted time of day). When I got up, I was greeted

by this sweet Valentine's gift from my super awesome husband. A heart shaped rice cake and a chocolate protein bar cut up into bite sized morsels. I snacked on 2 pieces of my special chocolate while I baked and it helped a lot. I did not even lick batter off my fingers... as I knew that would be the beginning of the end.

I'm very lucky to have such a supportive husband and family.

Today I do not have to workout at all and I'm excited about that. I'm experimenting with eating only 1100 calories since that is what I will be restricted to next Sunday. Might be kind of hard. I have eaten almost 600 between breakfast and lunch already. I really don't want to go to bed hungry so I'm trying to portion my calories out evenly. Wish me luck!

"Geez Rachelle, you haven't blogged in 3 days!" --Kate

2010-02-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

I got in trouble from Kate last night and again this morning for not blogging since Tuesday so I figured I better get on it. I actually have some stories to tell but I've been super busy with "mom drama" which no one wants to hear about. If I had a 'mom' blog, I'd be typing constantly! (actually I would not be typing at all because what mom has the time for all that?)

Let me preface my "today blog" by going back briefly to Wednesday, which you all know is not a lift day due to all my classes, blah, blah, blah.. So I made a new spin CD with a lot of rock/hip hop style music. The kind that makes you bob your head, not dance around. That kind of heavy beat calls me to want to climb, climb climb. So Wednesday night Spin was a heavy climbing class. About half way thru, it occurs to me that tomorrow (Thursday) is leg day so I should try to save myself as much as possible. I try to "cheat" as much as possible for the rest of the class, but I've pretty much burned out my legs already anyway. Thursday morning 6am, Spin again... same workout. I try to cheat thru the whole workout but I can feel that my legs are burning anyway... I'm afraid for later. LATER... I get a text from my workout partner for that day that she is sick and will not be meeting me. Great.. on a day that I really needed a partner to help me, cuz I'm tired, my legs are spent before I start, and I'm feeling the opposite of motivated... what's the word??...not motivated? I get to the gym, warm up, start with calves. Immediately I'm having this pain along the outside of my right foot. Even tho I drop the weight way down, I can't eliminate the pain, so I move on to leg press. I do my first set "light" but it feels really heavy... sigh... yawn.... so tired... I did my 3 sets 90 pounds lighter than my max from last week and I feel like I can hardly push it. So at least I try to really focus on form, go a little deeper and added an extra set. Squats on the Smith since I was having fear of failure. Then I ran into a friend...we chatted... Marcelo (the gym manager) came over... more chatting. This is actually a real pet peeve of mine. I don't have all day to spend at the gym so can we just chat later? Since the aerobics room was in use for the next hour (where I do my walking lunges and straight leg DL, I did lunges while the 3 of us chatted. I don't know how many I did but it felt like a lot. Finally the manager got called away and my friend had to leave. That left me cooled down and struggling even more just to finish up extensions and curls... screw dead lifts... I'm out of here!

I get home and I'm feeling somewhat guilty about failed leg workout, but I'm hungry and also feeling bored and uninspired by the food I'm allowed to eat. I had a chicken taco pita which was super delicious but I thought at the time that I wasn't supposed to eat the taco seasoning (too much sodium). But I obviously ate it anyway. So now I feel guilty about my workout, guilty about my hi sodium lunch and I'm pretty much riding down the road of crabbiness. (on top of that, my breakfast was yucky... no joy in the food department) Lisa is on her way to my house... better snap out of it and get ready for a confession.

Lisa, my hero and excuse killer, and my angel and the devil, walks in all smiles, loving on my dog, and says "How you feeling?" and pokes me right in my chest! My little, tender bruised sternum that she tried to break on Tuesday cried out in pain as I tried to be strong but cried a little in the inside. I told her I had a "bad breakfast, a bad workout, a bad lunch, and I'm in a bad mood about it"... She didn't say anything about my wimpy workout, I guess she will just punish me later in her own evil way. And as it turned out, I don't have to worry about sodium intake until 3 weeks from competition, so lunch was no guilt after all. I feel better already.

My Thursday meetings with Lisa are meant for posing and nutrition. Let me just make a long story short by saying that there was no posing, all nutrition. There is so much detail about the nutrition! Each day is a different calorie intake, and that is broken down into %protein/carb/fat (which is different for each say) and THEN you have to eat most of your carbs before and after the workouts, etc, etc.... So we are getting deeper and deeper in to the details and I'm getting a little panicked wondering how many hours I'm going to spend obsessing about what to eat and when. What happens if I get to the end of the day and my percentages are off? In the end Lisa is going to make the diet plan for me (specifically what to eat and when) and it will only cost me a Mercedes Benz, a Cartier bracelet and the rights to my DNA. But at least it will be done. Anyone need a massage? Cuz I'm in need of some CASH!!

Which brings us to today... My piriformis is a bit sore so I must have done something right on leg day (probably all the lunges) I had a muesli pancake with banana cream protein and it was not too bad, had a great lift with a great partner (minimum chatting), and a $160 trip to Costco with Kate to get protein milk shakes (that are chillin' in the fridge for my afternoon snack) and a crap load of other stuff (mostly stuff that I can eat and few extras). Again with the cash outflow.... this sport is expensive!!! Oh well...I'm committed now.

Sigh.... how's that for a blog Kate? Enough entertainment for you? Now that we are all current, I have to get back to my "mom chores" I've really been slacking this week.

Talk to you later!

Help! I've fallen and I can't push myself up!

2010-02-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

I'm mustering all my strength to type today's blog as I can hardly lift my arms. I worked chest with Lisa and I think she tried to kill me. I wondered why she was so happy when I got there! Not cuz... "I must be her favorite client!"... Or "She must love my fun personality!"... NOOO.. she was happy cuz she was thinking... "this chick has NO idea what I have in store for her... muuaawwwhwwwwwhhhaaaa!"... That's what I used to think when I had clients in ND. But if any of you are reading this... I was SO kind to you! You have no idea!

I was doing bench to failure and incline to failure... here is what I wasn't doing..

"warm up" with 50 push ups from your toes

lighter weight on the bar and push up to failure (example: set one, 20 reps, set 2, 13 reps) THEN add the weight for 2 more sets to failure (4 on my own and 2 with assistance -- and by "assistance" I really mean that I am sure that Lisa literally lifted my arms up with the bar). On to incline with DBs instead of the bar and last add a little weight so I can't push it up on my own and come down slowly with negative resistance. I'm totally failing at this point.

Thank goodness I'm done! My arms feel like bricks hanging by my sides. I'm thankful that I got a shower in after spin this morning because I'm not sure if I'll be able to lift my arms to wash my hair.

So Lisa says, "OK, do 50 more push ups and you are done." I felt like Polly Shore in that one Army movie.. "That's down and up, right?" So I get into position and my arms are already shaking... fail. I can't even do one push up. So I beg on my knees, but Lisa pushes me down and stands on my back and yells "PUSH!"... I'm just kidding, that didn't happen. But I did ask if I can do them from my knees. (I'm pretty sure she rolled her eyes but I was too embarrassed to look at her face) What's worse, after I eked out my first 15 and had to rest, I started to yap in an effort to get more rest time, and she tells me, "yep all my clients do that and then they will talk all thru the next set"... well that got me to shut up!

I'm pretty sure that "waxing on and waxing off" will not be in my immediate future. I'm concerned about massage class. I've been partnering with my friend Kate, because she understands my soreness and does a great job massaging me. I'll have to branch out as some point...I just hope my new partner doesn't want deep pressure.

Feelings.... nothing more than feelings...

2010-02-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

I feel MUCH better than I did over the weekend. As far as my health is concerned, I have just a little post nasal drip, otherwise, I'm back to 100%. Thanks to my beautiful son for praying for me.

My biceps feel a bit sore after working out with my brother yesterday. He was a great workout partner, and really pushed me. I actually decreased my weight a little in order to slow down and really concentrate on the muscle and ROM.

My wrist feels a little better. I've been icing it and bought a wrist brace that I wore most of the weekend. Lifting biceps irritated it a bit but after ice and immobilization it feels ok today.

My tummy feels bored. This is my biggest challenge. I'm bored with eating. I didn't really love my meal replacement shake that I drank yesterday. It was OK, but not something that makes me WANT to eat. I need more calories without the carbs or fat. I'm tired of looking for food that I can eat. This weekend was kind of hard. Yesterday with the Super Bowl, I was actually lucky that we stayed home and Mike grilled chicken and chops with rice... and Doritos. The chips made me a little jealous... the smell, the crunch, the yummy goodness that is Doritos. I decided to make some popcorn for myself and in my angry rebellion, I made it with 1T of oil and a 'dash' of salt. It was sooo good! I licked the lid to the popcorn maker. My brother asked me if I "wanted to be alone with my lid".... yes... yes I do....

Overall, I FEEL good about "things" in general. It's noon, so I FEEL hungry. I FEEL like I'm going to make more popcorn to eat with my lunch. I FEEL happy, blessed, rested, and ready.

Shrimp, Fries and Naps

2010-02-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

I worked out today, even though I am still not feeling very well. I was happy that Saturday is my short day with 3 back exercises instead of the normal 6, so I was only at the gym for about 30 minutes. Then after Hunter's basketball game we decided to take my brother down to the Wharf and Cannery Row which included lunch out. This is the first time I have faced eating out since I started training. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich no mayo, gave the fries to my daughter and set the bun aside. The hardest part was the popcorn shrimp appetizer. I seem to do OK resisting yummy food, as long as I have SOMETHING on my plate that I can eat. Of course I did not have my meal yet so I was unable to resist the shrimp. At least shrimp has good protein (but equal amount of fat :-( ) I had 6 popcorn shrimp and about 6 french fries. I guess it was a successful lunch as a whole, but we will NOT be going out once I start "THE diet" on the 14th. It was pretty hard and it made me feel crabby while we were sitting there. After that, we needed to get some salt water taffy, but that was not a problem as I am not really temped by anything that is not doughy or chocolaty.

Then when we got home, I laid down on the couch and took a 2 hour nap. It was awesome and I do feel better. I think I could still sleep if I laid back down. That is when you know that your body is fighting! Also, I got about 10 hours of sleep last night. I'm predicting that tomorrow will be a better day. :-)

My brother (from TX) is going to try to come up for my competition (him and Mike want to "heckle" me, but I threatened to kill them both if they did! hehehe) Anyway, my brother was there to support me at my first triathlon...then my second and my third. I love my brother, and he is an athlete too so he appreciates the hard work and dedication it takes to do events such as these. He worked out with me today and will tomorrow too. He is a great workout partner. Thanks Alex! You are awesome!

sore core and more...

2010-02-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

I was going to blog yesterday but just ran out of time. I was really sore in my obliques and it hurt to breath! But it's better today. What is NOT better today,,, is that I'm sick.

I don't feel like writing anymore.

I love Wednesday's...

2010-02-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

I didn't lift today but I wanted to blog anyway because I'm on a cardio hi. Earlier, I taught a muscle class where we did core core core (awesome), then kickboxing which is fun even if the class is small, which is was today. I just got home from Spin and I tried out a new music mix and the class really enjoyed it. Then I did another quick abs session since I don't have to run out to get to jits, I can stay a little later for abs. So I led a 7 minute abs workout and boy those students were moaning and groaning (even the men!). My heart really does soar when I can inflict a little pain on my friends. :-) mmuuaaahhaaaahhaaaa....

The bad part about Wednesday's is that there is really no possible way to get enough calories in. I burn about 1500 calories in my 3 classes alone and would have to eat over 3000 calories to break even for the day. A trip to McDonalds, super sized with a vanilla shake would probably do the trick... but .... no. I'm pretty sure my body would go straight into shock if I did something like that after eating oober healthy for the last couple of months.... and I ain't seen nothin' yet!

Here is some good news... my back is sore. (not crippled or tender to the touch... but sore) Here is the bad news... I am bloated, and have been for a couple weeks. Lisa said it's probably still my body adjusting to the hi protein/water thing. This should be my "skinniest week of the month" if you know what I mean. Mike shudders when I mention "girl" stuff in my blog. I told him a few nights ago that my "waxing" story should be the most entertaining of all.... he was mortified that I might actually write about that. I guess only time will tell. I may and I may not....

ROFL.... (literally)

2010-02-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

13 weeks to the competition, 3rd week of training. The heavy lifting is going well, although I still don't feel stiff like I think I should. I talked to Lisa about that today and the short version answer is that I should be stiff. Maybe wrong form, not enough ROM, not enough weight. I pretty sure my form is good and I'm lifting as much weight as I can to failure. Perhaps if the weight is too heavy, then I may be compensating with other muscle groups?? I don't know. Today was back and I did go down about 20 pounds on wide grip seated rows because I thought my lower back was doing too much work and I couldn't bring my hands to my chest. I went to Big 5 after my meeting with Lisa to buy lifting straps. I was able to put another 20 pounds on for dead lift. (125 pounds).. and let me tell ya... I thought that was damn heavy! I have red spots along my palm from just those 3 sets! Maybe when I'm a big girl, I'll be able to handle it, but for now, I'm still little.

So the majority of my session with Lisa was talking about food/calories/protein, at about 200 miles per hour. I tried to make notes but I know I missed a ton. This is where the emailing comes in. In a nut shell, I've been doing good so far. I haven't gained or lost weight, but I've had a couple people tell me that I've leaned out a little. (I can't tell....) But now that I've had 2 weeks to adjust to the higher protein and high water content diet, I'll be needing to make some "pre cut" diet modifications. No milk products, and less carbs, still the same protein, and more calories if possible but I'm doing ok here. My strict diet starts on Valentine's Day. NICE, right? No assorted chocolates for me this year. (It's a staple... I wonder if my wonderful hubby will get me a posing suit instead. I found a cheap one -$50- Lisa said order it if I can afford it cuz if it's crappy, it will make for a good practice suit... and something about paint...???) At this time, (based on my raised eyebrows) she asked me if I'd ever even been to a competition... "no"... this is when she literally rolled back on the floor and laughed out loud with her hand on her forehead! Is that bad? Well, just think... if I am a success, she will have a heck of a trainer story!! A real resume builder...that's what I am! Whatever works!...

Where's the beef?

2010-01-30T19:18:00.000-08:00

So the workouts are going along well. The only difference between this week and last week is my confidence level. I was still expecting to be more stiff than I have been. I started with all my max weights from last week and I think I added weight to every exercise (even bench press...since I had a spotter). Mike is doing the same kind of workout, "so he can feel my pain" with me, but as it turns out he is the one in pain and I find myself lacking in the pain. I can't say that I don't feel anything, but... well... you know... I've already talked about those feelings.

I have written down 7 song choices for my 90 second routine to discuss with Lisa next week. Here they are...

Brass in Pocket

I'm too Sexy (**giggle*)

I know you want me (Calle Ocho)

Stacy's Mom

Remember the Name

Lose Yourself

Foxy

Some of them make me giggle and would reflect my personality, and some make me HAVE to "bob my head". I've also looked online for 'posing suits'. There is nothing on Craigslist (at least not in this area). I found one site that had them for $24 per top and per bottom. That got me thinking about the tanning situation... I keep thinking about orange tinted skin... and it's scary. I'm glad to be a brunette at this time. (the deep tans look more fake on blondes in my opinion)

I have to start practicing my posing, but I feel kind of silly doing it since my "pipes" are not "ever impressive". I'll have to practice in a dark room somewhere.

Food has really been my big obsession. I'm already tired of counting protein grams and drowning myself in seemingly bottomless amounts of water, and I can only imagine how many seconds it will take me to get tired of counting whatever I have to count during my "cut diet" phase. I bought an ice cream maker and last night I made orange yogurt and tonight I made chocolate ice cream. Both YUMMY! Any cold treat will do!

As the Stomach Turns

2010-01-28T12:40:00.000-08:00

I'm well into week 2 and my confidence is much better than it was last week. At least I know what machines I'm going to and where to start the weight. I also know that I need a spotter on Chest/shoulder day if I'm going to push the max. Thanks to Danielle for being that person for me today. I know I'm going to feel this work out tomorrow. (maybe not tomorrow but the next day for sure...I'm learning that my peak DOMS is on the 2nd day after the workout) My lats are pretty darn sore from Tuesday's back workout, so I'm feeling much better about the 'soreness' issue from last week. As for my legs, I have to say this. You got the blog on Tuesday morning spin (2nd day after leg workout..ouch) then yesterday's KB and Spin. I have to say that last nights spin was totally awesome! Had a super workout but I was also back to my night class after a one month hiatus for sports massage class, so I was excited to see them and had a great high energy class. This morning spin, however, was a different story. Although my legs aren't really sore anymore, they just had nothing left. I felt like I had noodles on the end of my hips, just flopping around. I was totally burned and the class reflected it. I worked better thru the pain on Tuesday than the lack of strength today. I left class thinking, "Thank God I don't have to teach again until Monday night so I can rest my legs..." and then I realized that tomorrow is leg day. * sigh * I plan to sit around as much as possible this weekend :-)

My lack of enjoyment of my tuna snack last night, lead me to be a little more observant at the grocery store today. I've never been a label reader, and generally hate to grocery shop, so I like to get it over with as quickly as possible. That means no label reading and no price comparing... just get your crap and get out. So Mike has picked up that chore and we have saved who knows how much money and calories because of that. BUT Mike is a little stressed at school right now so I am trying to be a better wife and pick that chore back up AND do it his way. My goal today was to try to find something tasty that is chalked full of fiber. I feel like I need to clean the pipes and this high protein diet has my bathroom feeling lonely. (too much info?) So I'm thinking... "My Dad eats that hi fiber cereal --insert 'yucky' face-- so I'll try that isle". Do you ever wonder why the high fiber cereal is always on the top shelf?.... CUZ IT'S YUCKY! But I bought 2 kinds to try and also found some fiber crackers (also on the top shelf). But since the crackers are kind of high in sodium, I have to eat them before my "cut diet" starts. So today I actually prepared a lunch that required the oven... (for those of you that know me well...you might have to sit down) I made a salmon burger wrapped in a Toufayan, with cheddar, avocado, and stuffed to the max with spinach and cabbage. It was really yummy! And 40 grams of protein. I added the cheddar and avocado as an after thought because I still CAN and boy did that make it yum-tastic!! NO MORE LATE NIGHT TUNA INVENTIONS! I could have almost vomited after eating that!

snack

2010-01-27T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have to share my new inventive snack

can of tuna, 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup of grapenuts = 36 grams of protein!

Now I just have to choke it all down! I'm trying to pretend it's ice cream. Maybe if I put some chocolate syrup on it..... ugh! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth....

A Two Shower Day

2010-01-27T19:09:00.000-08:00

No lifting today as I teach 3 classes. The first is a muscle class and I did nothing except warm up and then supervise. Right after that was kickboxing, which I intended to go low impact but really just can't do it. I end up jumping around and getting all fire up..."It's what I do, baby"... So a super sweaty time was had by all. Here's a rundown of the rest of my day... home, yogurt, shower, CVS, Target, Staples, home, lunch, pick up oldest at school, home, pinewood derby car, run out the door to Spin (no time to eat.. but not hungry anyway), Tina kicked my ass again, home, eat, shower, good night to the kids, blog.

I had good protein for my meals which is good because I didn't eat any snacks/shakes or bars (really no time!). Didn't get all my water in and I'm about 600 calories short, and just shy of my protein goal. I'm going to eat again shortly. Probably tuna.. I always struggle to eat enough calories on Wednesdays ESPECIALLY when I go to jits which is against the rules for another month.

Nothing else to tell....legs still hurt a little but getting WAY better, lats/tris are sore from yesterday. Chest and shoulders tomorrow and I found a lifting partner. I'll let you know how it goes.

Somebody slap me, PLEASE!!!

2010-01-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

Remember yesterday when I was all, "blah blah blah...I'm not stiff enough... blah blah blah... I should have some pain.... etc..." ?? Next time something that stupid comes out of my mouth, will someone please slap some sense into me??? Yesterday, was a busy day. I was up and around all day running errands and being a slave to my kids. After I started to settle down into the evening hours, the hurt started coming. A little more... a little more... until I was huddled in the corner crying, knocking my head against the wall and mumbling, "they are all watching me.. they are everywhere.."... What? you don't believe that? OK, I wasn't really mumbling. However, the mumbling came during my 6am spin class this morning. I knew there was going to be pain so I pulled up my britches, took a deep breath and just hoped that my legs would go numb long enough to get through in without crying. I get there and the class is good sized this morning. All my regulars plus a couple more, so I put in one of my favorite CDs so the music can help me along. I do ok with the first couple of songs, feeling the lactic acid immediately but it does kind of 'go numb' quickly. Then about 1/2 way thru the class... "Proud Mary". You know it... "left a good job in the city"... slow and smooth Tina Turner. We peddle seated and work some shoulders... about 1/2 way through the song... TEMPO CHANGE!! Can't you just see her on stage, sexy legs shaking, wild hair everywhere, crowds cheering, like a big church revival! It was almost like that in my class this morning! (not really)... So tempo change to a standing run for 1.5 minutes. I knew it was coming so I braced myself for pain and I got it!! Fire was shooting out of my quads, someone was behind me stabbing me in the butt with a hot poker, my inner and outer thighs were trying their best to pick up the slack and I could hear the screaming and gnashing of teeth coming from my abductors. It was bad, people... like a scene from a samurai battle gone bad. My speed started to slow but I kept standing, trying to get the class to work hard. I hope the pain didn't show on my face. Tina never made grimacing faces...she was always smiling (although sweating) but having a great time for sure! I let them sit about 20 seconds early, I was about 3 seconds from muscle failure. Whew!... Catch your breath... how about some arms on the next song? you know, to let the class catch their breath. I made it through and Mike said I faked it well. :-) Thank goodness for high school drama class!

Lesson? Wait for at least 2 days before talking smack about wanting to be stiff!

My lift for today was upper back. Nothing to report, all went well. I was almost alone in the gym so I wasn't bothered or annoyed by anyone. Thank you to my friend Julie for spotting me on my pull ups. She also informed me that my insurance covers psychiatric care. Good to know!

Can I buy tickets to the gun show?

2010-01-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

I might need to buy some guns.

Yes, today was arms. This was day one of heavy bi/tri lifting. I have decent definition in my arms for a girl my size but by no means are my arms up to body building standards. I found it funny that yesterday during my lift with Lisa, she said that they (the group from yesterday) don't make weekly records of max weight for arms because, to some affect.. that they didn't have to worry about that. Translation..."I can already crush a walnut by flexing my bicep so the poundage is irrelevant." And I had to agree with her as I walked behind her completely hidden behind this 5'2" lady's massive back and shoulders. All I could see in the mirror was the top of my head as I walked behind her thru the gym and imagined just superimposing my face to her body and calling it a day. But I digress...

My lift went pretty well today, although I thought my biceps would completely detach from my humerus as I pushed out that last curl... (all of a 20 pound dumb bell for 4 whole reps... don't even laugh, or I'll sick my guard dog on you!... Down Dutchess!... It's ok...) At least I was keeping my form unlike the guy next to me with 50 pounders, just letting them swing back and forth like your grandma's arms on a windy day. Come on! Do you really think you are "lifting" 50 pounds right now? Momentum is doing all the work. Then he glances at my 20's thinking.. "Ha! Wee girl with your wee dumbbells!"... jackass... Sorry, that was a rant a long time coming. I feel the same about guys that "swing out" pull ups too, but since I can only do 1, I have very little room to talk. Lesson for today? A little less weight and better form will get you farther.. Right Lisa?.... Who's a good student? (ME! YEAH! I WIN!)

As for my legs... I'm not as crippled as I thought I would be....

Flashback ~~~~ About 4-5 months ago, I went to this class with my awesome friend Ember, called "Butts and Guts" at the Lucy store. (LOVE Lucy wear!... highly recommend!) Anyway, it was 30 minutes of squats, lunges and abs and THANK GOD it was a Friday, because I was CRIPPLED all weekend! I couldn't go up the stairs without the hand rail, and sitting on the toilet was the most painful part of my day! (thank goodness I wasn't peeing 3 times an hour like I am now!) I was beyond stiff.... miserable!

So that is what I was expecting to feel today, but I was slightly disappointed. I am stiff, yes, but no need for Motrin, or hot baths or anything else. Just stiff, quads and gluts mostly and slightly more on the left side I'm noticing. I think my left is stronger...arms too. I hope my arms hurt tomorrow. I never thought I would be wishing pain upon myself but I can't afford to waste another week! I need to be tearing those muscles up! And I don't feel torn. I am extremely concerned about this. I work out with Lisa twice next week but I'm still on my own for now. I tried to get a partner for today but was unsuccessful. Didn't think I'd need a spotter on arm day, although I almost crushed my skull on my last set of skull crushers........ I'm sure 50 pound dumbbell guy was laughing silently.

Can I talk about food just briefly? (Duh.... it's my blog!!... I often say to my students "When you are an instructor you can have the mic"... that's usually after I catch myself singing...not being mean and pushing them to sweaty oblivion) Aaannnyhoo... just wanted to tell you what I had for lunch today because I see a change of thinking happening that I find interesting and amusing at the same time. (Although "interesting" and "amusing" are kind of the same thing... SHINY NICKEL! I'll try to stay on task) So I heated up some left overs that Mike (my awesome cook of a husband) made the other night. Turkey sausage, chicken, chopped red and yellow peppers, some potatoes... yummy! Then I thought that if I put the left overs into a Toufayan wrap I can have 13 more gram of protein... AND I can add a little cottage cheese for a little more protein. After all, I didn't mind it in my tuna the other night and a little cheese makes everything better. A total of about 28 grams or so of protein. I have Kate to thank for the Toufayan tip (and many other food experiences :-) I'm beginning to think about putting foods together that will give me more protein. Perhaps I'm starting to grow mentally even though the measuring tape is staying the same. :-)

Weekly food totals (boring)

2010-01-25T09:31:00.000-08:00

Average food totals for the week of Jan 18th

Protein 131.2 g -- 29%

Carbs 234.6 g -- 52%

fiber 25.4

Sugars 61.7

Fat 37.1 g -- 19%

Angel in Red?

2010-01-24T17:24:00.000-08:00

I know you all are going to want to read how my workout with Lisa was some kind of scary and "Jillian-esque" type of experience. But I have to say that my angel from yesterday was not wearing red today. I was so thankful that I was invited to workout with her, her husband and friend "Mossy". I was mostly afraid that I would shame myself into a corner, but thank God it was leg day so I could have a LITTLE redemption. Only due to 5 years of teaching spin, kickboxing, MMA/BJJ and tons of squats and lunges that I didn't totally embarrass myself today. So that made me happy. It was a totally different workout than Friday's legs. Add an extra calf exercise, add leg press, no Smith on the squats, add double the weight on walking lunges, and about 20 lbs more on straight leg dead lifts. THEN super set with curls and extensions! Woo Hoo! Loved that!

I did ask Lisa if she would get up on the leg press machine and yell at her husband to "PUSH" but she didn't... *sad face*

The other thing that made me sad today was this... Instead of "Jillian" telling me to work harder/burn more calories... Lisa told me not to do any cardio that I wasn't getting paid for. Mass building with cardio is like an oxymoron apparently. (Actually if my classes weren't paying for this whole adventure, I'd be advised to drop ALL cardio) This is hard for me. I like to get a good sweat going and know that I just burned 600 calories. On top of that, I told Lisa that I gained a pound this week and she said "good". Of course I know that muscle weighs more than fat, so gain muscle = gain weight... but come on! I'm still a woman and it's hard to dismiss the scale. How many women can say, ''My goal is to GAIN weight!"? But mine is... I trust that it will pay off.

Anyway, I had to tell my buddy Tracy that I can't come to her Zumba classes on T-TH and I also have to talk to my BJJ coach about not coming back to class for yet another month. It's just bad timing as I just got my blue belt in December and now I'm dropping off the face of BJJ Earth. (I haven't been able to go all of Jan because of Sport Massage classes). I know I'll be in for a beating when I do go back.. and the beating will just get worse the longer I'm gone.

At the end of the day, I got a great leg workout, got 155 grams of protein, and the Colts are going to the Super Bowl. OH!... Also, Lisa told me I could drink tonight! Which made me happy! But I didn't because I am too full from force feeding myself flank steak and edamame beans until I was ready to bust open! So I'm sad. What an emotional ride! Happy-sad-happy-sad...like a bipolar patient with out her meds.

Tomorrow would normally be just an ab day but I have to make up arms that I didn't do today cuz of the extra leg workout. I hope I can get out of bed!!

Break down #1

2010-01-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of my 1st week of training and I already had my first emotional breakdown. Is that bad?

Bit of background... Thursday was "wimpy chest day" (frustrating in general). Yesterday was leg day (ok, but slightly frustrated that my shoulders weren't strong enough to support more weight). Which builds up to today. I'm a little dismayed that my legs aren't more sore and feeling unsettled that I have wasted my first week by not working hard enough. Never the less, life goes on and another workout awaits. First I get to enjoy Hunter's basketball game (he scored!!.. yeah!) at the NPS gym and so I go straight from there to start my workout. I'm freezing cold from sitting in the gym so I decided to warm up on my favorite instrument of torture... the spin bike. I start my iTouch to a good song and get my standing jog on. About halfway through the song, the thing shuffles to the next song. I have it set on the "shake to shuffle" mode because my iTouch is in a Zune case so to change the song is a process that irritates me. So apparently I'm "shaking" too much and I lose my good song. Oh well another song comes on that's good and I get through the whole thing. The 3rd song shuffled again half way through and I got a slow song... sooo.... I reach to my hip the shake it... nothing... shake again... nothing. I take it off my shorts and shake it... nothing. FINE.. I'm warmed up anyway, so I dismount the bike and in doing so, it shuffles. Really?? Whatever.

Pull ups.. yeah!... (enter sarcasm here) I can do 1.. yes 1... unassisted pull up. So I find the assist machine and off I go. Slow song... jump, nothing... jump again, nothing... remove iTouch from pants..shake, shake, shake... nothing. I take it out of the case to check the settings, yes it's on shake mode. I fast forward with the button. Back to work. Do you see where this is going?

Tbar.. ok, at least I know WHERE this machine is so I get to walk to it with confidence. I take a guess on the weight, do 10, it's ok. Add 10 lbs, little harder, add 10 more lbs, that's good. Oooohhh... a good song comes on! Just what I needed! A little dance move... just a little... Shuffle! Are your effin' kidding me!? Really?... Bleep #$$^!@#$%@.. Bleep #$!#$%^%$@.. Bleep @#$%@#$^... I'm about ready to put the bleepin' thing under the 300 pounds the guy next to me is lifting and ask him if he could kindly drop his bar right onto this iTouch! Shake it off, Rachelle...Shake it off... (do you find it funny that I should use those words right now?)

Last...Roman Chair. Aaaahhhh old faithful. I know this machine well, I know how much weight I'll be using before I even get there (a first). So I walk into to the big area, looking around, don't see it. Go back to the smaller room... nope. Back to the big room again, walk down each row to be sure I didn't miss it.. nothing. What gym doesn't have a Roman Chair? I had to have missed it. Back to the small room, no. So I decide to swallow the 1/4 ounce of pride that I have left (and I'm really stretching that), and go to the front desk to ask where the Roman Chair is. Splendid! They don't have one! Big breath in..... slow exhale..... So she shows me what piece of equipment some people use instead and I get on it, do a set... and no.. this machine does not work the lower back AT ALL! So I go into the aerobics room (my haven), get the exercise ball and do my best Roman Chair on it.

OK.. I'm done here. I'm hungry and I have to pee again, I think of Kate....

Short interjection... I have a friend who is ruled by her stomach, her bladder and her gym time (you know who you are...Kate) and I tease her a bit about it... cuz I love her. Now I totally understand! I'm trying to drink at least 80 oz of water a day and I feel like I'm drowning! I pee constantly! It's ridiculous! On top of that, I'm obsessed with protein (which I will confess that I spell wrong EVERY time I type it.. and that is often!... "i before e except after c" people! Stupid English!...) And my life is totally focused on the gym... so now I get to be just like Kate... which is good because she is hot!.. and 3x as strong as me!... I'm done here...

So finally.... I'm depleted, more mentally than physically. I was going to hop back on the bike but decide that I'm too hungry and I don't really know how much cardio I should be doing at this point, so I'm just going to go. I feel like a tool...what the hell am I doing? floundering in the gym like it's my first time EVER (which is 10x as embarrassing since I do have my PFT certification... I SHOULD be confident here!) I'm close to tears.... in the gutter... (do you feel bad for me yet? cuz I have more... ) I walk out of the gym and then suddenly?... a Christmas miracle! ... the clouds parts and I saw and ANGEL!! There walking toward me in my deepest hour of need was my trainer. "Be strong, Rachelle".. I whisper to myself. Nope.. I can't hide anything! I wear my feelings on my sleeve (and in my blog). She asked how I'm doing? A simple enough question... I was truthful (the short version), a tear did NOT actually fall but I must have looked just desperate enough for her to invite me to work out with her tomorrow.. legs again. I'm so happy to have guidance but at the same time... afraid. Maybe I need to watch "The Notebook" tonight so I can get out a good cry, so I can be fresh and ready for tomorrow's workout.

Don't worry... you'll get all the details...

I don't like green eggs and ham!

2010-01-22T22:14:00.000-08:00

Quick post... I lost track of time this evening and had to run out the door to class without dinner. Luckily I had made Tianna a turkey sandwich this morning that she didn't take to school, so I grabbed that, a yogurt and 2 cuties, and a protein bar. ( I didn't want to eat the bar, but I was in a desperate state!) I was still short on my protein so when I got home I decided to choke donwn some tuna. I figured I could probably stomach it...yuck!... BUT LISTEN TO THIS!... I added 1 egg white and 1T of fat free mayo, with 7 triskets crackers. It was a great snack! I really liked it, and could even have done it without the crackers. So today's protein total was 168g with only 20.3g of fat. I'd call that a pretty successful day!

I DO! I DO LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!!

Make up to the gym? Really?

2010-01-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

OK... Yesterday was bad right? So I'm not really feeling the gym this morning so I decided to clean my kitchen. That is productive work and, by golly, it needs to be done, so just get off my back about it. I don't need my friends coming over and seeing that I have expired medicine in my kitchen cabinet so it was essential that I organize and clean out my 2 messiest cupboards!

THEN, I just HAD to put make up on. There are too many mirrors at the gym to be looking like I did yesterday. You know the look... when you are too lazy to wash your face the night before so you when you wake up you look like death warmed over with 2 black eyes. Yeah...that was just an extra boost to my severely bruised ego during yesterdays "wimpy" workout. So today I "prettied" up a bit just in case things didn't go well. It's leg day, and legs are my strongest body part so I was hoping for a "gym revival".

I warmed up on the bike to Eminem "Lose Youself" (the clean version) ... makes me bob my head just thinking about it... I probably looked pretty funny "dancing" on the bike, but I don't care I do it when I teach too. Gotta FEEL the music! Anyway... Lounges with weight, more bike... "Boom Boom Pow" then a faster with "Bang on the Drum all Day"... but this isn't spin class OK people? So lets get back to legs.... Squats on the smith, straight leg dead lifts... a little more bike (cuz it's fun.. with Michael Jackson in my ears!) calves, abs...

Soreness scale? about a 5 out of 10... sadly... Not that I WANT to be crippled, but I thought I'd be more stiff. Anterior delts hurt the most right now. I did give 2 hours of sports massage last night and my arms shook the whole time! My clients probably wondered if I was having seizures.

Here's my thought for today's workout... Maybe I could have squatted more weight on the Smith but I felt like my shoulders couldn't take anymore weight. Goes to show what half of my body is stronger. At the end of my workout (1.5 hours surprisingly) I felt much better than I did yesterday and I looked a hell of a lot better too. Do it ladies!... Wear make up to the gym. If it makes you feel better, go ahead. (maybe skip the bright red lipstick)

Who's that wimpy kid??

2010-01-21T15:05:00.000-08:00

Well, today's visit to the gym was a rude awakening. Sadly, it's been years since I've benched ANYTHING! My awesome and beautiful trainer - Lisa (yes, that is shameless sucking up for future "please don't kill me" points) says to me, "start with 10s and find your max from there." I say, "You mean 10 pound on each side of the bar...which is ... 45 pounds...equals 65lbs?"

"Yes"

"I don't think I can lift that much"

"Oh sure you can!"

This is the only time I'll be able to tell Lisa that I was right and she was wrong. Really? Do I really have to admit that?? Ugh! I felt like Spongebob adding "2, count 'em, 2... marshmallows" to my twig and still not being able to lift it!! So I "warmed up" with 10 reps with just the bar and then went for it and added..... a 5 to each end. Whew! At that moment I really felt like a real body builder. I looked at that bar with those tiny little weights on each end and grimaced.. cuz I knew that damn 10 pounds would cause me great pain.

Truly...I felt like it was my first day in the gym...EVER I kept thinking, "4 months, Rachelle, that is all you have." Followed by..."And this shame and pain is costing me only a cool grand.. why wouldn't anyone want to do that?"

Early trouble in body building paradise...

2010-01-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

Struggle #1.... first issue of today was how to get 135 grams of protein a day with out shakes or bars. Today I hit 128 grams with 31.9 grams of fat, not too bad I guess. But I'm 800 calories under my caloric budget for today. I could eat right now but what I want is the cheese cake that is in the fridge so I'm just going to go to bed. I plan to hard boil some eggs tomorrow so I can have a quick protein snack. (just hope they don't give my gas!) Speaking of that... I thought the high protein would make me a fart machine but it hasn't... whew! My massage partners are probably the most happy about that! ;-)

Struggle #2.... I've received an estimated cost from my trainer. I wondered why she charged so little when she was so awesome and now I know why. Email time, posing clinic, routine review, diet reviews.... and that doesn't include training sessions (which she agreed to do massage trades for).... looking at about $500. About $150-$200 for the contest entry and drug test, $50 for the suit, I'm just guessing about $100 a month for supplements.... and about half way through.... psychiatric care! So what I had thought would be about $400 for all of it, has now turned into over $1k! Damn! I mean maybe this will be a life altering event for me. But really... I may need to pick up another sugar daddy... any volunteers?

I thought my first triathlon would be cheap. I had a suit, and a bike and shoes...right? WRONG! I sunk about 1k into my first tri when it was all said and done, but it totally changed my life and got me started on a path of fitness that I never dreamed I'd travel down.

So what about this.... ???? I do know that I have to stop emailing my trainer 3 times a day! :-)

(stalker!)

2010-01-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

Day 3

I'm not as sore today as I suspected. It feels good to have sore abs, as I can do all varieties crunches all day and not get sore and that's the majority of what I do in my classes. Upper traps are sore but not tender to the touch so at least I will function easily. Should I be more sore? Maybe I didn't do enough? I definitely maxed my weight, so I did what I was told to do. Today is an off day because I have a lot of cardio classes on Wednesday. Today I have only muscle class (in which I plan a full body lift.) and kickboxing (which is a great sweat).

Should be my only post today, except for my end of day food totals. I need to work on getting enough protein without getting too much fat. Although yesterday my fat overage came from icecream and the cheetoes I had with my lunch...and dinner. I do have a slight addiction to baked cheetoes. That might be the hardest thing to give up in a couple of weeks. I am not going to buy any more once this bag is gone.

Well, I'm going to sign off before we lose power. The lights have flickered since I've been typing.

Motto today.... protein protein protein!!!

2010-01-19T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today's food totals...

Calorically speaking I'm under my budget by 313 calories. I managed to take in 137.9 g of protein which is right about at my budget. (That extra gram that I got from the peanuts in my ice cream put me slightly over) I'm also over on my fat grams by about the same about of fat that was in that same damn ice cream! I didn't even ask for it! My super sweet husband made me a small bowl, knowing that my strict diet starts in a couple weeks.

Workout Day 1.5

2010-01-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

Hello bloggers... I will first confess that I am a blog virgin up until now. I might need therapy when this is all over, but time will tell.

Yesterday I met with a trainer who is so kick ass that I can't even explain it. She just got her "Pro card" in the body building world. What does this mean? Not exactly sure at this point. I guess she has won enough competitions that she now has to compete in the pro circuit which is cool. Anyway, she is amazing.

I want to do a competition in May that is in Oakland CA. It's the closest one by location and the farthest one out by time.... 4 months. Lisa (my trainer) said she has never trained anyone in 4 months before but thought it would be a "fun experiment... as long as you don't plan to be competitive"... hmmmm ... Soooo I guess I have my work cut out for me, right? I thought that if I could just lose the fat, I'd be pretty cut but was smacked down in that I have virtually no lats. I'm pear shaped which means that from my hips up, I'm square and I want to be "V". So my lifting really needs to be "back and shoulder centered".

So why is today workout day 1.5? Cuz yesterday was supposed to be 1... ABS. I said I was going to do them after Jiu Jitsu but was really LAME about it so I didn't really count them as actually an ab workout. So day I did Spin at 6am, Zumba at 9am and then lifted back (pulldowns, seated row and dead lift...4 sets, 6-8 reps each - first set to warm up a bit)

I'm sure that Lisa will ROFL when she sees my max pounds...with my wee beady back, and wee beady arms... At the same moment that I will crying like a wee girl with how tenderized my lats and traps will feel. So... all my previous clients that I have tried to crush and make cry... now is your chance to enjoy some sweet revenge... I'm getting mine.

As for diet, I've eaten a protein bar this morning before spin and about 20 minutes into it, that thing dropped into my gut like a brick and I've been functioning off of it ever since. Still not hungry even tho I've burned at least 1000 calories this morning and only eaten 200. I'll be hungry after I shower, I hope. I'll eat either way.

Well, there you have it... My very first blog, if no one reads it, it will be a diary. Time to scrape the funk and get some other stuff done.